Why Can't I Get it Right??

Feb 26, 2009

I am just over a year out from my surgery. It was on February 20, 2008. I have lost 80 pounds, which I keep telling myself is good, but is def not where my surgeon would like me. To be perfectly honest it is not where I want to be myself.

The problem started this summer when I began experimenting more with food. I found out that I can eat anything and don't dump. Never have. I have not been sick one time since I had my surgery. Not even with getting anything stuck. ( For which I am really thankful) However, now that I know I can eat the bad stuff. I want to eat the bad stuff. My old bad habits are starting to come back in full force. I just can't seem to stop myself from eating the things I know I shouldn't.

I have had some tough times emotionally with a few things and my first instinct is to eat to cover the pain and hurt. I know I shouldn't but I can't seem to stop myself. I know what everyone's first words of advice will be and I have tried therapy in the past, but did not really find it helpful.

One thing I think may really have helped is a support group, but I had my surgery 2 hours away and that is where the closest support group is. While I would love to attend it has just not been something I have been able to do.

i haven't been on the boards for months because I just couldn't face it. I couldn't face all of the people who are suceeding where I have been failing. All of people who are able to put their issues with food aside and live their lives. Plus on the past when I have read a post like this from someone the responses have not always been the most pleasant. I'm looking for support and understanding not condemnation. Believe I am harder on myself than anyone else ever could be on me. That has always been a problem of mine.

So, why pore out my heart now, because I finally belive I am ready for some advice. I need to get this under control. What do you all do when you get hungry? What are your favorite things to fill you up? What do you eat or do that makes you hungier quicker? Any and/or all advice would be wonderful.

Thanks for reading.

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