LilyFlower79

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I was sitting in my office when I received an email from OH... I thought what could this be. Well what do you know, it was a congrats letter on my 3rd year anniversary of WL Surgery. I can hardly believe all that has changed in my life in the last three years... I have moved cities two times, got divorced, dated new men, lost over 100 pounds, bought a 2 piece swim suit, bought clothes at the mall in the "normal" girl sizes, had 1001 Ahha moments, and found myself (or at least found the path to finding myself). I want to say that never once have I regret ed my surgery, even when I had infections, ulcers, and when I ate too many carbs and huddled in the fetal position. I LOVE my WLS and  I would do it over again. I have had ups and downs but through it all I know that I have a new life and each day is a new adventure for me. I like being me, sometimes I don't like what I see or how I feel but I always know tomorrow can and will be better. Even three years later I am thankful everyday for this new beginning and the hope I now have. Thanks to all of you that inspired me, stuck with me during my crabby days, those of you that made me feel like I had a friend out there rooting for my success. OH has meant the world to me through my journey. Stay strong my OH friends

Hi boys and girls,
I thought I should post since the last time i was being a negative nelly and don't feel that way anymore. I have a tough couple of months at the beginning of the year. I felt very lost professionally, personally, and just emotionally drained. I am happy to report now that I have sucked it up and stopped whining :). Life it hard sometimes, as I have told a good friend of mine a time or two... you have to forgive yourself and get back on track, set limits on the negative things in your life and don't break through those. I forgot that for a bit but am back on track. 
During this little bout of negativity I allowed myself to eat poorly and forgot all that I had learned from this WL journey, gained 6 pounds and stopped working out regularly. Its funny how quickly all the confidence and self-esteem I worked so hard to gain went out the door and all I heard was that old voice telling me I am a failure and that I am going to gain all the weight back. That I didn't deserve a healthy normal life and that I should be fat and alone forever. I HATE that voice!  
I realized it was time for me to get myself back, and so after months of being lonely and feeling lost I made a few personal changes that helped me to remember what I want in life and that I can and will make it as long as I continue to fight.
OK so I just wanted to toss that out there for anyone who was worried about me or for those of you listening to that terrible voice in your head saying you cant and wont ever lose the weight or keep it off or have happiness. DON'T LISTEN!
That is all I have for now, except a heartfelt thanks to my special friend that never forgets me... even when I forget myself, has taken the time to tell me the things I need to hear... good and bad, and has a such sweet, giving, and loving soul... Thank you my friend you make me a better person. 
Till later my OH friends... stay strong

so I have not wrote in a while and do not plan to again for a while... a quick update for those who care, if there are still those who care. My divorce was final last week, life has pretty much been terrible on most fronts, finances, job, family... I feel very alone and the funny thing is I cant reach out to those I care for, I somehow feel it is better for me to just be alone. ok I am feeling worse than I though, I will just post some other day, hopefully I can be positive then.

Well I have to say I can not believe another year has gone by. Where does the time go?? So I've intended to write up a blog several times in the last months but time seems to fly by and still no blog. I think this one will be short but I feel the need to say hi to all my OH peeps and to update you all.
So many new things this year... I believe I was able to fulfill my last years resolution which was to do something new each month in 2010... I had a blast visiting 2 new states, dipping my toes in the ocean, visited someone very special in my life, saw the Cowboys locker room (GO COWBOYS), went 4 wheeling, filed for divorce, took a promotion, moved to a new city... wow, what a year.
So I think I have settled into my new self for the most part. It will be 3 years this august since my life changing surgery. I feel pretty comfortable with who I am now, still struggle with food choices and I have slacked on exercise WAY too much lately, but as I say to my sweet friend...  you have to forgive yourself and try to be better.
I have stayed between 130-140 lbs, winter has been a little hard for me as the cold makes me want to snuggle under the covers turn on the fireplace, eat popcorn, drink hot chocolate, and watch movies all night instead of brave the cold to go to the gym. So with food my portion size is around 7-8 oz. I have notices that I am not stuffed at this point, sometimes I don't even feel really full, but I know I need to stop. I would say that sweets have been my food downfall, I just love a nice cookie... or maybe 2 nice cookies... wait what about 3 nice cookies, hahaha, now you see my problem.
I know that the surgery doesn't fix us, that it is only a tool, but I was hoping that as time went on that food would be less of a struggle, that I wouldn't always have to tell myself to be strong and that I don't "need" more or I don't "need" to eat right now. Unfortunately it is still very hard. I do have days where I eat everything right, in the right portion sizes, at the right times, and when I do I feel great! Other days it much more difficult, sometime I feel at war with myself.
Ok enough of the downer stuff... I want to say to all my newbie OH-ers that I don't for a moment regret my choice and I am so excited everyday to live my life, no longer do I daydream of what I want to do with my life when I am thinner ,when I have the energy, or even when I am brave enough to do what I want...  now I  go out and Just Do It (yeah took that saying from Nike, lol).
Oh... so I did brave one of my biggest fears this year... public speaking. My surgeon's office requested I sit on a panel of patients at their informational meeting for people interested in having weight lose surgery. I was so darn nervous and my voice shook every time someone asked me a question but it was so great to be able to tell all those people that there is hope and that you can change your life. Since the first meeting I have spoke at 3 of my surgeons meeting and even introduced him at the beginning of the last one. I am speaking at his next one in February :)
I have decided that I don't have any new years resolutions for this year except to live every day to the fullest and to remember that anything is possible! I would recommend everyone to do the same... don't ever sell yourself short, life is a journey... take the back roads, stop often to enjoy the scenery, and always take a moment to enjoy the sunrise on a new day :)
That is about it for now. I hope the new year brings everyone happiness. I am always here for any of you that need me :) Good Luck my friends!

Well everyone it has been a while, I am on here almost every day just didn't have much to post about. Still don't, lol, but figured I should write about something so y'all don't think I forgot :) So lets see anything new and exciting??? New I would say yes, exciting, hmmm maybe...
So my new years resolution is to try something new each month of the year... so for January I took a class, ok so not just a regular class;) may have been a dance class. lol, ok I will stop teasing, I learned the dance from the Coyote Ugly movie, you know the one where all the girls dance on the bar and light it on fire. My sister and I did it together, minus the fire! February.... well that month I left my husband of almost 9 years and am now living on my own (with my daughter) for the first time since... well ever, never been all on my own before. For March, I am going to see a new state. Also plan on spending time with a good friend that deserves some TLC from me. I don't have any plans for April yet but I am sure something will come to me.
I also joined a boxing gym, LABoxing... ok gotta give them a plug here. I am having sooooooo much fun kicking the-you-know-what out of the punching bag! Never smiled as much as when I am knocking around a bag or trying some MMA moves. Now don't go thinking I am going to be joining UFC or anything, lol, but it is oh so much fun and helps get rid of some built up aggression.
I have stopped losing weight, I know big bummer!!!!! I knew the day would come but I just think it is too soon. I am not were I want to be yet. I am trying to adjust my diet a bit as I think I became lax in following it to the letter. I think I have the working out part down pretty well but I still have about 15 lbs I want to lose. I guess it is true that those last 10 lbs or so are the hardest to lose, first 113 when by with no problem.
I am not discouraged yet as I have a great friend that keeps me motivated and always makes me feel hot even when I think he is oh so wrong :). Going to show my appreciation for all the encouragement my friend has given me real soon, couldn't have made it this far without my sweet friend. My BFF is doing great as well, skinny as can be, I am so proud of her and all that she has done!
Well I better head out now, great to catch up and I will try to blog a little more frequently... Thanks to all my wonderful OH friends. I love ya all and wish you the very best! Keep up all the hard work and remember where you came from, helps me to remember how much closer I am to where I want to be :)

OK so I have to say I am thrilled that thanksgiving is in the past, cant wait to get by the whole X-mas thing too. Love the holidays but whoever thought lets pack in as much food as possible during this one day...or in my case one weekend was just plain crazy!! I went out of town for the holiday visited my family and I can see why I got so darn big. I must say I was very disappointed in myself. I will list out the foods I remember eating on the fine day of Thanksgiving...Turkey, green beans, corn, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, bread, and even pumpkin pie...and yes I had whip cream on it too. What was I thinking??? I will tell you what I was thinking, I love food, and I will eat whatever I want - no one can stop me. So as you can guess I made myself sick (on more than one occasion during my holiday trip) I didn't exercise properly either. What a mess I have become. Well now I am done with that rant...I have decided to let it go, cant feel guilty forever, live and learn. I have started fresh today with proper portion sizes and healthy food, will be at the gym tonight and will make sure to do better in the future. I want to say this I will not make the same mistakes during X-mas, it is great to have fun and splurge but is another thing to treat your body so poorly.

So other than this last week things have been fairly good, I was at the doctors a while back for a lovely stomach scope and colonoscopy. I was having some side pains and blood in places that blood should not be, well after two days of fasting and a camera put in places I don't want to speak about, it turns out I have a stomach ulcer. Well, I have to say I was happy with this diagnoses, take a pill for the next 3 months and have a follow up, if only all life's problems could be solve in this way, right :).

So many of my OH  friends have just had or are having surgery this month and I want to wish them all good luck! My aunt also had the surgery almost two weeks ago, she is doing as well as can be expected this early out. I got to help her strip the drain and change her bandages when I was out of town...made me think back to all that has happened since my surgery. So many good and bad memories. I think the good has definitely out-weight the bad in the last year and I just want to say thanks to my favorite Texan, as he has put a smile on my face every day, even on those days that I don't want to smile. It is amazing how good friends can make you happy to be alive. My BFF is doing great too, I am amazed every time I see her...before you know it we will be borrowing each others cloths!

Well not sure if I have much else to talk about right now. Hope everyone out there in OH land is having a blast and enjoying everything life has to offer. Love ya all! 

Hi all,
so I made my personal weigh goal and am thinking about lowering it again. I am 135---woohooo. I have to say though 135 looked a whole lot smaller before I was the size. I still feel huge and think I should lose another 10-15 lbs. I saw my doc last month for my year out check up and he was happy with my results. said I shouldnt go below 130 without consulting him first. I am having a blah day, not very happy with anything in general so maybe I will hold off on writing until another day when I can be positive.