February 2004

Feb 18, 2004

2-01-04

Hey everyone,
I know its been a few days. I'm still here and still crazy. I think I might need a food log again to keep me honest. I can digest carbs tooo easily and I don't think that sugar makes me dump. So  I have been eating like crap. I even tried pizza...I can't eat whole slices, so I was taking the cheese off and eating the crust. Hot cheese does not agree with me now. Fat makes me dump. So now I have gained 2 lbs!! GAINED!! It doesn't help that I don't exercise, except to walk up and down my steps, but I think my body has adjusted to that level...lol. I want to do more but can't get it together and it doesn't help when my boyfriend tells me that it is too soon and then I think that I am not eating enough and that I will put my body into starvation mode if I exercise. I gotta do something, so I ordered a stairstepper by nordic track off of ebay (hopefully it will be here this week) and I also ordered a yoga kit and a pedometer. I gotta get this big butt moving, don't need my window to close at 3 and a half months.  I want to lose some more weight this next two weeks before my anniversary on the 15th of february. 
I think I need to take advantage of either OA or get a therapist. See why I am destined to sabotage myself. even though I am stopping the sabotage, here and now.

My sister Denise is doing awesome. She had her surgery on 1/22/04 and as of friday 1/30/04 she was down 24lbs already to 263lbs...we are almost the same weight. but beings that it is now sunday she probably weighs less than me. Not that this is a race, we will both be thinner and healthier, which is great!! I am just so proud of her. I'll be on the losing train again with her this week. I gotta work out.
Okay just wanted to check in and let you's know I am still on this crazy roller coaster of a ride....lol.
love ya all....lisa
p.s. I will keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as anyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
Lisa
339/260/???

2-05-04
Hey everyone,
I know it has been a few days since I updated. Not a whole lot has been going on. I have now defeated the pizza monster and he shall not return across my lips...lol.  I am trying to up the protein and water. But I have been drinking caffeine, so I know that that leeches calcium (about 5gms per cup of caffeine)and also it has a dehydrating affect so you have to drink more liquid. confusing, in some ways this is way more brain work than dieting ever was.

But I don't think I would have the wonderful opportunity that I have been given to take advantage of being able to lose the weight like I can with my tool. I am taking my supplements faithfully and I may start back on a antidepressant this week. I cleaned my house (well with the help of my sister Beth and my Mother) but it is clean just the same and I feel more at peace. I couldn't overcome the clutter alone. Now I just need to keep my butt moving and my mouth moving to keep it clean (gotta keep on the kids).  It feels so much better to wake up in an organized house. Gotta still mop, but that beats having to do everything again....lol.  i am weighing in just under 256lbs, but I am using it as my weight since I'm not officially at a half pound mark. and I don't do quarters. I am really loving that I can lose this weight, but it still isn't making sense in my brain. I have more room when I sit in chairs and I can fit through the metal poles at the market (you know the ones they use to keep you from taking the shopping cart from the front of the store), used to stop me from shopping.  So many things to be grateful for, I can cross my legs. and many other things. I'll list them later. gotta get ready to go out first thing this morning, my sister Patty is 9mths pregnant (almost 10mths) and is having an ultrasound and I want to go with her and it is at 9am. But I am ready already and it is only 7:25am and I am not sweating needing another shower (which is awesome itself)...lol...
Oh my girlfriend Becky (who had her surgery december 11th I think, sorry becky crs strikes again), was back in the hospital, here she needed to have her appendix out, so keep her in your prayers. Spoke with her yesterday (the day after her surgery) and she was already feeling much better. Poor Becky, she had her gallbladder removed a couple of years ago, so she thought no more surgery unless she needed plastics and wham, she was back in surgery. I am praying the surgery fairy stays far from me and that my skin just shrinks up....lol....don't even want reconstructive plastics (unless absolutely necessary).
Okay well me of much wind have to go...lol....I love you all and I will type again later.
I want to keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as anyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
lisa
339/256/??? -83lbs yeah!

2-19-04
Hey Everyone,
I know it has been awhile since I updated. the little computer gremlins were at it again with my computer...uuuggghhhh...but I'm back, hopefully for a long time...lol....I am feeling pretty good, I'm down 91lbs (almost 100!!) at almost 4mths out (can't believe it).
I cut my long hair last week, 14inches gone, donated to locks of love. It looks cute and when it stops falling out I'll let it grow long again (maybe).
I have been fighting a horrible depression, I should be feeling great, but I didn't want to get out of bed, I cried at nothing and felt generally crappy, so I went back to my psych's office and I am back on my antidepressants, so keep me in your prayers, I am starting to feel a difference. I hate the darkness of the depression, so I want brighter days ahead.
I dont' know what to eat, I can tolerate alot I guess, I stay away fromt the fats and the sweets...I eat alot of cheese and crackers and soup.
Okay, I'm gonna go, gotta do some more cleaning....lol...yeah right....lol...I love you all and I will keep all you pre- and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
Lisa
339/248/???


January 2004

Jan 30, 2004

JANUARY 2004


01-05-04

Hey everyone,
It is hard to believe it is another year. Boy they sure go by fast the older you get. But this is going to be a really good year, I just have this feeling. I

am starting it off at being under 280lbs...so that is good, in fact this morning I weighed in at 273.5. I'm almost under 270!! maybe if I get enough protein

and fluids in I will make that this week, into the 260's. that would be awesome.  I guess it would seem like I am shrinking. It still doesn't feel fast

enough, but what do I expect a 20lb drop overnight...lol...would be nice, but I don't think that is possible.
I am trying to be more positive and that is one of my goals this year. to stay upbeat and be happy like I used to always be. There isn't anything in my life

that should be able to drag me down unless I let it. (I pray to God for openess and willingness to do what I have to)...lol....I am so happy today, not only

for the weight loss but also because it is the first day back at school for my kids since winter break.
My house is a mess, I have a ton of stuff to catch up on, but I don't care, I am just so glad the break is over. I Love my children and love spending time

with them, but I also enjoy my alone time.
So my new years resolution is to exercise. I think by March 5th, 2004 that I want to be up to walking 3 miles a day. I think taking 2 mths to get there won't

be too bad.
I'm gonna work out today before I go to my doctors appointment.
It's just a med check appt. so shouldn't be too bad, pretty quick.
I am also happy because of the little things I am noticing that I can do being 60 pounds less, like I am sitting indian style on my couch typing

this...lol...and not cutting off my circulation.
I also went to the movies the other night with my sister and our kids and I fit into the movie seat with room to spare....UNBELIEVABLE....I have not been

able to do that in ages. usually have to squish into the seat and be uncomfortable, or sit on the edge and hope I don't fall onto the floor. it is amazing to

say the least.
This past weekend we drove to my mom's house in jersey, I was able to drive without falling asleep (about an hour and a half drive)...plus I fit behind the

steering wheel without having to move the seat to the back seat position, and I can wear a seatbelt no problem. Now I can also park out back of my house and

walk in downstairs and carry stuff up from the basement and not be out of breath or tired. Unbelievable....lol.
I am so glad I did this for myself.
Oh and I went shopping at old navy the other night with my son and daughter.
I actually bought a pair of pants(leisure size xxl) and 2 shirts also xxl. And they fit. I can't believe it. I can shop in a normal store. Of course I am not

ready for the jeans there yet, I tried a pair of pants on that were a size 20 and there was no way they were fitting over my panni....they were lose on the

legs, but until my panni goes down some, I will be in bigger sizes. They say you shrink from the top to the bottom and it is true.
I also have to make an investment in some new underwear and bras...my underwear are way to big now, I think I am down like 3 sizes...yahoo...lol. .. I'm

gonna have to find a well paying job I think to cover my clothing expenses as i lose more weight. I havent' really bought myself much over the past decade or

so because I would end up crying in the store, just because of my size. Now that I can actually fit into stuff and when I get smaller I will fit into things

that I really like, I know I am gonna want one of every color...lol. Just kidding, I'll have to be selective, I am on a fixed income.
I think I am going to hit the thrift store this week, to see if I can find a few things to carry me through.
I don't want to make a major clothing investment at this time, I am only going to get smaller. Yippie.
My little sister is doing awesome, STeph I love you dear. She isn't having any pain from joining the zipper club (open heart surgery), praise God. Now she is

doing physical therapy, she has lost alot of muscle tone and it is a challenge for her to even raise her hand. She will have to build up to being able to

walk again. But she is so much more healthier now than she has been in almost 4 yrs. PTL!!  She is going to be awesome, she is only 32 and will be able to

have a life. So many things for me to be grateful for.
My sister Denise is excited and waiting for her surgery, she is now down to 16 days and a wake up for her lap rny surgery. She is using the same surgeon I

did, Dr. Williams. I am so happy for her and can't wait for her to join me on the losing side. I'm gonna try and stay at the hospital with her.(gotta figure

the kid situation out first).
Okay I've gotta go and get my exercising done and get a shower and off to the doctors.
I will keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers, as well as everyone who is suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
Please keep our president and military in your prayers as well.
till later,
Lisa
339/273.5/???.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/bar-0004.gif">

1-12/13-04

Hey Everyone,
It has been awhile since I have updated (or at least feels that way).I have been trying to figure out this diet still....today I had a grilled chicken salad

from mcdonalds and it felt like it got STUCK! OUCHIE....luckily it was only stuck for a half hour or so....then I started feeling better. Afraid to eat, but

at least I was feeling better. I got the weirdest feeling earlier today. I was using a bathroom that had a full length mirror and I could actually see some

weight loss. Finally, I could notice it. I still look so bad but I am feeling better.
I did something yesterday that I have not done in awhile. My aunt and uncle said they were going to lend me a car for awhile (i might buy it off of them,

working on the finances), well anyway the car was in New Jersey. So instead of waiting for them to be able to arrange for someway to bring it here to me, I

planned on taking the train and two buses to get there. So me and my son set off, we missed the train, but I was not out of breath walking there and

back(from the train station), and called my mom and she drove us to the greyhound station in philly. Then we got on the bus to atlantic city and then

transferred to the bus to the villas. It was so cool to be able to just get on the bus and go...I am losing my reclusivness(spl?). This is such a big step. I

have been so stuck in my house not able to get around, or not wanting anyone to see me getting around, and now I am out doing my own thing. It was such fun,

and I fit in and didn't have any of the gross stares or snide remarks that usually follow me around when I was heavier. I am feeling the benefits of this

surgery already. I can't believe I am almost 70lbs lighter. I hope that I hit that 100lbs down by my 6 mth mark.
I am so grateful that I was able to have my life changed by getting this surgery.  It hasn't been easy, but boy has it been worth it so far. I hope that it

gets alittle easier down the road as far as eating. But I am soooooo happy right now, I would do it over in a heartbeat. LOL....not that anyone has ever said

that before...lol. I'll have to start a picture page, just to keep my pics updated.  I'll link it here when I get it done.
I am trying to explore being creative again like I used to be.
hopefully I will start writing again soon. I could post some of that here also. I'll let you's know.
Okay I'm going to go and I'll post again tommorrow sometime.
I'm keeping all of you in my prayers, pre and post op as well as anyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
LOVE YA's,
Lisa (339/268/???).

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/Btflyline13.gif">

1-15-04

Hey Everyone,
I was just looking over my paperwork from this journey from when I started. I noticed that I weighed 339lbs at my initial consult and I got weighed yesterday

and weighed 266.75 or I'll just say 267lbs. So that is a total loss of 72lbs!!!! I can't believe it, and that is only what 2.5 months after

surgery.....yippee!! I might make 100lbs down by my 6 month anniversary. Which would be totally awesome!! I can't believe it.  I gotta correct my weights

...lol.....every pound lost is an accomplishment.
I love this surgery, even though it is still only a tool and I have to use it correctly. I know that I would have never lost 72lbs without it.
I will chat later....gotta update my stats, oh and I am linking a photo page to this, getting some pics scanned so look for it in the near future.
I'll keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
love ya's,
Lisa
339/267/??? post op lap/rny 10-23-03 -72lbs

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/bar-0004.gif">

1-19-04

Hey, I wanted to update and say that I went out to lunch today. It was a really nice tea place.  We had "tea", little
finger sandwiches and scones and candies and cookies and flavored teas and other stuff. It was soo nice. I have never been to a tea before. It was really

nice and kind of reminiscent of being 3 and playing tea...lol.  and it was just the right amount of food, in fact it was too much...lol...so I had leftovers

to bring home for my kids. it was so nice and something that I wouldn't have done 75lbs heavier.
Oh yeah, I am 75.5lbs lighter. Oh yeah!!! and I'll be three months out this friday. maybe i'll be down another couple of pounds by then. I gotta get my

photos done. Me and my sister (denise murphy who is having surgery on the 22nd) are doing a photo session tommorrow, her before pics and my continuing after

pics. I am so glad i made this decision for myself. Even if I have felt like crap the past couple of days (not today though). but then again, i've had crappy

days in the past..lol.
I need to start exercising, I am getting so stiff in my hips and sometimes they hurt at night. I don't want any problems. I walk alittle funny, kind of off

kilter. I think because I need to work out and get my balance. the quick weightloss is throwing off my center of gravity I think. I'll let you's know.
okay, more thoughts later.
I'll keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
lisa
339/263.5/???  -75.5

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/Btflyline13.gif">

1-21-04

Hey Everyone,
Yesterday me and my sister Denise went shopping at a Fashion bug that is closing down. It was so weird to be buying clothes in small sizes. I can't wait

until I can wear them. I bought stuff in like sizes large and medium and a pair of pants in a size 12. I figured that I would be seeing these sizes. Denise

bought stuff (well only shirts) but in sizes large and medium....we saved so much money...was really cool....can't wait to use them. But I am writing this

down because I bought myself a gift for losing over 75lbs....a silver watch (which fits perfectly!) that has a mother of pearl face and has a little elephant

charm hanging from it. I thought this was perfect because I have lost the weight of a small elephant. When I could just slip it right on and hook it, I

almost cried. my wrists look like they are getting skinny. I was soooo puffy and blown up when I was at 339lbs, its truely amazing. I am shrinking...lol. I

will keep you all posted as to when the clothes start fitting. I hope I find more sales like this, and the money to shop at them...lol.
I will talk to you all later. down 77lbs!!!
I want to keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
My sister Denise Murphy's surgery is tommorrow, please stop by her page and show some support. If you want

href="This">http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=M1049772859">This is her page
Lisa
339/262/???  -77lbs
postop lap/rny 10-23-03

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/Btflyline13.gif">

1-24-04

Hey everyone,
It is hard to believe it has been 3 months. I am surviving fine. It is still a struggle for me around girlscout cookies and pizza, which my kids had both

yesterday. So hard not to pick at it. I think I am going to have to get involved in either therapy or perhaps OA. I need to work through these feelings that

want me to sabatoge myself. I am losing fabously, I am down 79.5lbs. almost 80lbs. I only have like 118 to go. that is so hard to believe. I need to focus on

the reasons why I am afraid to succeed and what is driving me to want to eat.
Well I went down the hospital to see my sister and she did two laps around the floor with me. that was so cool. She will do wonderfully.
My next goal I think is to get a treadmill. I need to walk, walk, walk.
I know my postings have seemed disjointed and a little scattered, I'm sorry for that. So much running through my mind. Boy is this a rollercoaster of

emotions and thoughts. But an awesome journey just the same.
Okay I am going to go, I will talk to you all later.
I'll keep you all in my prayers, pre and post ops as well as anyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
lisa
339/259.5/???

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/hackenburg_lisa/Btflyline13.gif">

1-28-04

Hey Everyone,
I know it has been a few days, I think I am down to 258 now.
today is my mommy's birthday, she is 63. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!
I got my 3 month blood work back and it is normal, yeah! my red blood count is just a little bit high, but okay, and I am not pregnant....lol....lucky for

me. Two is enough.
I feel like I am gaining weight, is that not crazy. I don't look like it, I just feel like it. I guess because I have my period this week I am swelling

alittle. My watch is a little bit snugger, but still fits. I hate this. I want to be thin very badly, I need to start exercising, tommorrow I will. , its too

late tonight to exercise. I will let everyone know how I am doing later this week, I guess.
I am getting a little depressed I think, because it is such a long journey. I want it to be over. I know I must be patient and I have already lost over 80lbs

in 3 mths. this shows how crazy I am. I think I might need some more therapy. I'll have to make some calls tommorrow. I don;t feel like doing anything, not

even hanging out on the computer. This is how I know I am getting depressed. I am afraid of some of the anti depressants because of the weight factor and how

will my new pouch handle the absorbtion. geez such questions, too heavy for tonight.
Well I think I will go. I will keep all of you pre and post ops in  my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
talk to you all later.
Love ya's,
Lisa
339/258/???
p.s. Oh my sister denise is doing great, she is now down about 17 lbs. Pretty good for only being out a week from surgery.
YEAH Denise!


Surgery day October 23, 2003 until December 2003

Dec 29, 2003



>

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http://images.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/century_cards/lisar1262_h1042741407.gif">>


Hey Everyone, just revamping my page here, hopefully it will make it easier to keep up with my story...I have moved all of my presurgery

stuff to my other page
click">http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=H1068285467&NoStatic=1">click here to go there

here to go there

 

10-23-03

Well here it is my day of surgery. And you know what, I still can't wait and I am calm! I am confident in my decision and my surgeon, I know everything will go great. i was alittle confused yesterday, I thought that they might have had to cancel my date.
I got a message from my surgeons office that they had some serious questions that they needed answered and that I needed to call them asap. Well i'll tell you that made me upset. I called and talked to I think her name was shannon or samantha (geez my brain isn't working) they wanted to discuss my history of DVT's. I thought this was already worked out, I said that I had already talked about the clotting thing with Dr williams and even discussed the filter. I told her that I had a bilateral scan done on the day of my preadmission testing. She said you did, and put me on hold. then she came back on and said okay let me talk with the dr. (I think his name was demonte).  So I had to wait for her to call me back and she said that I needed to have a dexascan (I think its called) before i could have surgery.that they wanted an updated one. I said does this mean my surgery will be cancelled again, she again put me on hold, she came back on and she said no, what they are going to do is I have to be at the vascular lab at 8:15 and they will do the scan of all of my limbs, then they will decide if I need to have a filter placed. My surgery will be the last surgery of the day at 2:30. So I will be there from early in the morning and not have my surgery until the afternoon, but at least it isn't postponed.  Let me tell you I was getting mighty upset.
Then at 3:30 in the afternoon the hospitals automated line called me to let me know my surgery was to be at 7:30, so I would have been the first surgery of the day. Well anyway I called the office back and it is okay.
Scan at 8:30 and surgery at 2:30.
I just want to say thank you to all of you who have given of yourselves to help each other and all of us who come here.
I can't imagine being able to do this without the insite and knowledge I have gained.
Thank you all for your prayers!!!!
I will be back when I get home.
Love you's all!!
I will still say a prayer for all pre and post ops as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease.
Congrats to everyone going in today.
Lisa

 

NOVEMBER


11-03-03
 Hey everyone,
Hard to believe but I am 11days out. And after the surgery I developed blood clots and bilateral pulmonary embolisms, I have a clotting disorder. I had a greenfield filter put in while i was still in the hospital and I will be on coumadin for like 6mths.
I am fine now. I just went today and got my drain out.  I just got out of the hospital this past friday. couldn't wait to get home. Now I am past the fluid stage and onto the pureed. Still trying to figure things out....lol......
I did lose 16.5lbs in the past 11days!! They said I am still retaining fluid from the hospital, when I go back for my next check up in december I will be really surprised....lol.....can't wait.
Well for my first "meal"...lol...I had one chicken nugget without the breading..unbelievable....and for dinner I had an egg scrambled with a little milk. I am stuffed ....lol...okay more later..lol.
Okay, I am tired and not making a whole lotta sense.
I 'm going to fill my story in alot more in the future, just didn't want it to seem like I dropped off the face of the earth....lol.
Okay I want to keep all of you pre- and post-ops in my prayers as well as all people who suffer from this horrible disease.
Lisa
lap/rny 10-23-03
339/314.5/140?

 

11-6-03

Hey everyone,
I know I haven't been updating like I thought I would. I am busy recouperating. I am going to type alittle of my hospital experience before I forget it...lol.
well I get to the hospital on the 23rd and have  my duplex scan of my legs to check for blood clots everything is clear so we decide to forgo the filter placement, and in fact he decides to give me heparin shots (ouch) instead of drip. I was taken at 1:30 to have my surgery. they make you change into a gown and put on booties and hat. I kissed my sister goodbye and they took me down to the gurney. I got on and they wheeled me to the OR holding room. this is where I got my IV in and my heparin shot(did I say ouch), they also went over who I was and I had to sign another form. then they moved me over to another holding area, this is where they gave me something to relax and it did nothing for me....lol. Oh I got to meet the wonderul anesthesiologist (darn I can't remember his name but he is good). I was trying to read a magazine, but it was hard because of the IV. then they took me down to the OR #15.  It was really weird to be in one. they were setting up all of the equipment and had me move over to the bed. they were propping pillows and stuff behind me. They said that I would be done kind of propped up like sitting. I thought that's okay, whatever helps.  so then the were taking my blood pressure and taping my arms down (I wasn't as anxious as I thought), then they said the wanted to give me some oxygen, I said is this the anesthesia, they said no that they werent' giving it to me yet. Just breath in deeply, I started to panic with the mask on and thought "maybe this is the wrong decision...........lol" fade out. I woke up in recovery....gosh it felt like a friggin horse had kicked me and my cramps were soooo bad (I got my period 2 days before surgery), the cramps felt like lightening going through my lower abdomen.  I couldn't breathe deep and I just wanted it to end. they were giving me meds and it started to work, but was still painful. they let my mom back to see me, it was great to see her.
I woke up with a NG tube in my nose(that was horrible), a catheter, which turned out to be a blessing, the IV a jpdrain and I don'tknow if anything else. the pain meds started working and I was fine. they hit lots of bumps transporting me to 5 ravdin to the surgical critical care unit. I was so happy I was alive, and I thanked God that he never left my side. I got awesome care in there and then less than 24hrs later was moved to silverstein 12 room 1208 (which is tucked back in a corner), I felt abandoned. They took out that darn NG tube...(ouchie, just persevere it is over in a couple of seconds, and boy are you so glad to have it out). The coughing was really hard, because it hurt and i was afraid to breath. Oh and they also had taken my catheter out the day before, so I had to get up to use the bathroom.  I had this nurse I don't remember what her name was, but I could never get her attention. when I finally did, she acted like I could do way more than what I could. I said I had to go to the bathroom, so they helped get me up and she walked me into the bathroom and left me. I finally pulled that string in the bathroom that I thought would bring the calvary, but no response. Eventually two nurses aides came in and helped me get out of there, they put me on the end of my bed, which was better, but then I couldn't move, I couldn't reach my call bell and I couldn't reach my pain pump and my courtain was drawn. I was suffering and couldn't get anyone's attention. I thought I was going to fall and that scared me even more. I kept yelling (as loud as I could beings I was breathing well), my roomate finally answered me (she was leaving that day and her mom and husband were with her), she finally figured I was having trouble and got someone. Thank God, I say a prayer for her. I never saw my nurse again. another nurse came in and an aide and helped me. they put my back into bed. The first nurse told me I was not allowed to walk so soon when I wanted to walk.  Well I started getting a twinge in my right calf, blood clot crossed my mind because I had had one before. I told the nurse and the aides anyone who would listen. I don't know if I told the docs when they came in because they were coming in at the crack of dawn and by then I had hit the pain pump and was sleeping, so I couldn't really tell you what we talked about. so on to another day. It is now saturday and they got me out of bed and into my chair, I still was not allowed to walk. well after I was put into the chair they did give me my pain pump but the balanced my callbell on the table beside me(with nothing keeping it in place), I needed something went to reach for the bell and it slid off the table onto the floor. I started yelling hello (mind you they had my curtains drawn around me again). My roommate was gone and I didn't have anyone in my room. I was yelling HELLO. It was so frustrating because it seemed i could hear the staff talking and joking at the nurses station and i couldn't get anyones attention. I was getting really upset. I did have the phone so I called my sister and told her what was going on. and she called the nurses station. they came down and moved me back into the bathroom, they wanted me to get washed.....OOOOKAY...I'll try....forget it, I didn't have the strength or stamina. my legs fell asleep, i just wanted to be able to get up and move alittle and get back into bed. FINALLY  someone came back to see if I was done, I said yes, but both my legs were asleep and I didn't know if I could stand. He was a black male nurse and he was very caring...he said why don't you try and if you need me I'll be right here to help you.  I stood up (still not feeling my legs and mad it somehow to the bed). I got in bed and hit my pain pump. boy did I just want to sleep this experience away. luckily I had pain control. This stuff would all happen before my mom was allowed to see me.
the pain was worse in my leg and I knew definitly it was a clot. so I told this nurse/nurses aide(I can't remember what he was, I'm sorry). The docs came in and asked me a few questions, put me on a heparin drip (kind of low grade) and scheduled me for a cat scan to check for clots. they took me down to get the scan which was the test from hell. I had to lay flat and stretch my legs down straight (they tape them together), then stretch my arms up over my head. IT HURT SO BADLY, I THOUGHT I WAS RIPPING IN HALF. I couldn't hardly breath in this position let alone hold your breath. the test didn't have to go on long they discovered that I had bilateral pulmonary embolisms. It took at least 4 people to get out of the table and back into a wheelchair. then they left me in the hall for transport (all of those guys are fantastic). I was shivering, and couldn't stop and i was having a hard time breathing (I think the clots in my legs broke off during that test). They finally came and got me and took me back to my room....they said don't get comfortable we have to move you, suddenly it was a rush of people. I was moved to directly across from the nurses station, then the moved me back to the surgical critical care unit.  They increased my heparin, and now i definitely was not allowed out of bed. so it was bedpan time. Luckily i could only pee. I received awesome care there. I was there for the rest of saturday and all of sunday and then monday the took me back to the OR to place a greenfield filter in. They had to go through my neck...(OUCHIE). and lace the filter into place then deploy it. they told me I would be out, but guess what I wasn't and it hurt when the were cutting on my neck (four cuts). I then went back to the recovery room, they took awsome care of me. I just wanted to cry, even though I made it. I got over that. then they moved me back to 5. the next day I got to start sips, yessss. It was wonderful beings that i hadnt eaten anything since weds and it was now tuesday. Since I didn't have any problems with the sips, I was good to go. then they transported me back up to silverstein 12. Room 1205, alittle better and it was a single room. I got really good care, except that twice during my stay there, they turned off my call bell from the nurses desk and didn't respond. that was definitely disturbing. But i started doing alot for myself and I think that helped immensly.  i hung out for a couple of more days, just praying and trying to ask for what I needed. they had started me on coumadin and wanted to get me at a therapeutic level before they wold release me. Oh did I mention they took my PCA  while i was in the surgical critical care unit the second time, bummer, you don't realize how much it works until you don't have it anymore. so we moved onto two pain meds, toradol and morphine,given directly into my iv. Well up on the floor they gave me toradol and morphine, but the toradol you could only have a total of 5 doses, this made me mad because I would have gone a different route with the pain meds.lol. it did work pretty good. My last day in the surgical care unit, they forgot to bring my breadkfast tray and when they moved me I didn't have my lunch try or dinner tray. The nurses brought me apple juice that was really good highly deluted in water.
I was now only allowed from the bed to the chair, from the chair to the bathroom. And ladies the spoon does work, helped me immensly. I was getting washed for the main part, and brushing my teeth. then on thursday they said I could go walking, however the IV pump I had, had a bad battery and it couldn't be unplugged to move with you for the walk. this was changed at 2am and i walked alittle. my lungs were sore, I have been moving forward since then. Okay I'm tired of typing. I will finish this story later. (I left some stuff out, but i will fill it in)
thanks all for your prayers.
Love ya's,
I'll keep all of your pre and post-ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease.
Lisa post op lap/rny 10/23/03
339/308/ 140?

11-8-2003

Hey everyone,
I can't believe I"m postop. For real. It is a hard concept to grasp, it would be a little anticlimatic if it weren't for all of the learning I'm doing. It is hard to figure out what works and what doesn't and is it too soon to eat certain foods and is that going to make me sick. Lots of thinking. Well I have found so far that I can't tolerate milk or yogurt. I can tolerate a scrambled egg (mixed with water before cooking), sf jello, chicken broth, Isopure zerocarb drinks, water, flavored tea (decaffeinated), SF applesauce, wendys chili, and water packed tuna (I don't drain the water, it keeps the tuna moister and I eat it about 1 1/2 ozs on 3 whole wheat crackers.). I don't think that i have tried anything else yet, oh yeah, my sister bought me gerbers next step vegetable and beef stew (which I exploded kind of in the microwave, but there was still a spoonful left in the container so I tried it, was pretty good).
So I am going to stick with this stuff for a few days then add some more. I have been on the pureed diet since last monday (well I started it on tuesday).

I have weighed:

about 340 lbs 10-23-03
      314.5lbs 11-3-03
      308 lbs 11-05-03*
      304 lbs 11-07-03*
      300.5lbs11-08-03*
that means I have lost about 38.5 lbs in 16 days. (*means unofficial weight, I got weighed at home and haven't had my scale calibrated yet. the other weights are at doctors offices.)
Can you tell it is a little obsessive with the weighing. I think after I get under 300, I will only get weighed at my doctors office, which will be once a week because of having to have my blood tested for my pt time test for the coumadin. Still have normal blood pressure, praise the Lord. And I don't require as much sleep at night. But I do require a nap during the day if I have done some moving around.
I went for a walk with my son, night before last, we walked over to walmart and around in the store then walked home. I think that equaled a couple of miles, but made me really tired yesterday, after I cleaned my house some, I fell asleep for about 2 hrs. I know it will take time. I feel better than I have felt in over a decade, except for getting tired. But I am still recovering from major surgery. But this is awesome!!
Well I am going to go, I'll be back after support group today.
I will keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone who suffers from this horrible disease of obesity.
Love ya's,
Lisa

 

11-10-03

Hey everyone,
Sorry I am not updating more often. I am feeling better and better everyday and my lungs are getting stronger. I can't believe how well this surgery is working for me. It is a little tough swallowing all the pills though. Sometimes it hurts my little pouch :-(  I haven't had much trouble eating, last night for dinner, I ate like an ounce of pork roast, a couple of slivers of cooked onions, a slice of american cheese and 3 saltine crackers. It was yummy and I was full. I hope that i am eating enough. I don't feel like I am losing any weight though. So I guess I am going to be typical and think that after all of this I will be one of the ones not to lose weight.
Crazy, I didn't think I was one to think this was not fast enough.
I have lost almost 40 lbs in under 3 weeks and I am crazy. I don't think I have patience...lol...believe it or not.
I am trying my darnest to be patient.
I think I have to get rid of my scale.
i don't know if I need to drink more water or what.
Okay, I am going to just cool out and let nature take its course.
I will just do my liquids, my proteins, exercise and take my vitamins.
anyone with any other ideas or supports please feel free to email me!!! I can use all the hope i can get.
Okay well I guess I will go for now.
I'll keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers, as well as all of you who suffer from this horrible disease of obesity.
Love yas,
Lisa

 

11-11-03

Hey everyone,

Alls I can say is OUCHIE!!! I made chicken cutlet for dinner, I took
a really small piece and it tasted so good, I can't believe that I
wasn't even thinking and barely chewed it before I swallowed it. Gosh
that hurt...I guess I really did have surgery...lol.....I am still
having some pain, but not up near my heart I think I'm gonna die
kind. And my throat hurts now too. That's not going to happen again.
You know when you have one of those experiences that you think, Gosh
why did I just do that. Well I had one of those. Man I hope i get
back to feeling normal soon. my stomach is rumbling, I'm burping, I
can't wait for this to pass.
Okay well I'm gonna make some hot tea and see if that helps. Ihope it
does. Okay talk to you later.
I'll keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers, as well as everyone who is suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
love ya's,
Lisa

 


hey everyone,
I went to my PCP today to have my blood drawn for a protime test. I got to jump on the scale and I am down to 302. so I have lost 37lbs in 21days. I can't believe it, then this afternoon my sister helped me do my measurements and I lost 18inches, 18inches already.  I can't wait to see how my journey progresses. I am trying to take the food easy. It is a little difficult, because I have head hunger going on. I knew it would come, where my head wants it and my stomach can't have it.
I think that is the hardest part.
I am trying to stick to all of the rules and I am wondering when I can start working out.
Okay keep me in your prayers.
I will keep all of you preops and postops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
Love ya's,
Lisa Hackenburg
339/302/140?

 

11-15-03

WAHOO! I am below 300, this morning I weighed 299.5!!
I'll never be in the 300lb range again!
YOu do not even understand how much this means to me and I can't wait till I lose more. I hope that my weight loss continues at a quick pace, i would like to see 100lbs gone by 6months out. I have to see when I can start working out. I know that exercise is going to be a good key to my weight loss.
I just had to get on here and share my good news.
I'll write more later. Probably tonight...lol.
Okay talk to you later.
Lisa (postop lap/rny 10-23-03)
339/299.5/140?

 

11-19-03

I know I am not updating as much as i used to. This is such a confusing journey. I am trying to figure out how I am suppossed to drink all of the fluid that I need, plus get the supplements in and eat protein. I think I may have dumped slightly earlier today. I didn't feel well and thought I was going to throw up or pass out...lol...luckily it passed. I think it may be because of eating a cheese steak croissant. too much fat....or the fact that I ate 5 cheese fries. they smelt so good.....bummer man.
I have so much stress going on. My little sister is now septic. She has been sick for over 3 yrs now. I am praying that she will be okay. I hope that I can get through the holidays with out messing up. I thought I had researched this enough, yet no matter how much I have researched actually living it is harder.
The easy way out is what alot of people call this journey. But you know what, this is soooo tough. I have a hard time, yet it is a good time too. I can't explain it. I am feeling better everyday, but struggle with what to eat, when to eat, when to drink....blah blah blah...lol. And I still don't know when to start exercising. I mean i have been taking some walks. I get really tired the next day. So every other day I get alot done then the next day I am bushed so much that I go back to sleep after the kids leave for school and sleep till at least 12:00pm.

My scale has not been showing a change at all.....I can't believe it. I hate that blasted thing, because I am like on a plateau for like a week now. I can't believe it. I hate this.
I know that as soon as I start losing, I'll feel better.

I feel discouraged, I know so soon....I thought when I read other peoples profiles that they were just exaggerating or something about the way that they feel. I feel like if I just do liquids it will happen quicker. But I know that is not good and then I sabotage myself with eating something wrong. I don't feel incredibly wrong, but I don't want to take that path.

I am going to be doing more reading and feeling more comfortable.
I thing that knowledge will be the key for me. I need to shop for more healthy stuff and see when I can eat more things, like salads. Okay I'm gonna go.

I will keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.
I want to keep my sister steph in my prayers as well.
later, guys,
Lisa Hackenburg (postop 10-23-03 lap/rny dr. williams)
339/299?/140?

 

11-20-03

Hey Everyone,
I am sorry if I have a bad attitude. I really don't. I am just a little frustrated, I got on the scale and yep you guessed it 299.  I hate this...lol...I thought the weight would be melting off.  It just makes me feel like this is not going to work for me. I am eating so little (I'm stuffed though), before I would be dropping weight, and now it is just hanging in there.
I've got to get the numbers out of my head. I should be so totally grateful, I am off of my blood pressure meds, I am off of my antidepressants. I should look at the positives. I think I will take my measurements again today, just to see if I am losing inches. I think that I am. My shirts are getting bigger and I can wear smaller bras. So I think I am losing inches.
I'm glad I took my before measurements, so at least I can see some change.  this is taking longer than I thought. I am obsessing here. I think that it just seems like a really long time because I think about it so much. I think that in actuality that i have only been on this journey like 28days and I am still down 32lbs and over 18inches(actual number I'll update later today). So that is awesome.  Gotta keep it in perspective.
I am going to be reading menu stuff today, get a handle on the nutrition. I've gotta check and see where I should be too, like what stage, I think I advanced too quickly through pureed.
now I am a little sore. My pouch is sore and so are my intestines. I don't know if it is the way that I sleep or what. Or that I made it work so hard yesterday. Today is definitely a take it easy type of day, on my new tummy. I'm going to easily digested stuff. okay enough doom and gloom.
Why can't I just be happy with my progress?
32lbs is awesome!! I guess my body is just trying to catch up.
Okay later.
I want to keep all you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity. I also want to keep my sister in my prayers.
bye guys, love ya's.
Lisa

 

11-23-03

hey everyone,
I can't believe it has been a month already since my surgery. 1 whole Month!! I am so grateful for the opportunity that has been given me and the people that I have met on this journey so far.
It really makes me feel good to know that I have such supportive friends and family. I don't think I could go this journey alone. I am learning so much about myself and trying to learn not to sell myself short. I also have been looking at my reasons for staying fat for so many years of my life. this is a difficult introspect. I know that i have to still deal with some demons from the past and make some hard decisions for the future, but now I feel equipped to take better care of myself and not always to sacrifice myself for others. I am beginning to feel that I may be worth more than I have allowed myself to feel. It is even hard putting this into words.  To admit to myself that I may be worth something is having to accept that I lost so much of myself in the past and allowed so many people to use me and abuse me. That is what hurts.  I know that I have also had wonderful experiences in my life that I never felt like I deserved but now I feel like maybe I did deserve them. So I am just a jumble of emotions. Ya know what I mean?
Well I hope that I continue to grow and that the pain won't be too much to bear. I don't think that it will be though, because I will feel more deserving of being worth more. (does that sound confusing?...lol) Told you I have been introspecting...lol.....oh what a whacky world there is going on in my head...lol....like my sister said" get out of your head its a bad neighborhood"...lol.
Okay, today I am going to try and just relax and enjoy the ride, I am going to go for a walk and just be grateful.
Thank you Lord for everything you have done for me.
Thank you friends and family.
I hope when I post next that I'll be off of this blasted plateau....lol.....okay later.
Love ya's!!
I'll keep all of you pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.

(p.s. I hope i am down another 10lbs by my 41st birthday, which is in 13days)
Lisa

 

11-27-03

Well HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! I hope that you are all counting your blessings, as I am counting mine. I am so grateful for so many things...I can breath and walk (and both at the same time!!), I have family who loves me and friends who love me, I have loyalty and I have a savior who never leaves me. I am sooo grateful, too many things to mention.  I am most grateful that the Lord allowed me to have this life saving surgery and that he decided to let me remain here with my kids instead of taking me home. I am also grateful that he has allowed me to shed 48lbs so far (and that is in 35days). I will be giving him praise and thankfulness for all the rest of my days, because everyone is a blessing and a gift.
I know that I have problems removing myself from things that depress me, but I think that when I give my problems over to my Lord that I have a string attached so that I can yank them back, because I need something to worry about. HOw silly is that? So today when I say grace I will also be praying for a willing and obedient heart.
thank you all for all of your support and I pray that i can continue to offer whatever support I can.
LOVE You's ALL!!
Lisa Hackenburg (postop 10-23-03 lap/rny Dr. Williams)
339/291?/140?
Oh and as always I will pray for all of you pre and post ops and everyone who suffers from this horrible disease of obesity.
Oh please say a pray for a little girl who is in intensive care at dupont hospital, she has a mysterious infection affecting her brain and they thought she would have died already (last week she got sick), I think her name is morgan. Please pray that God allows a miracle and she is cured or if he decides to take her home please pray for comfort for her parents and family. She is 10yrs old. OKAY, I really am going now. later

 

 

11-29-03

Hey everyone,
I thought that I had this all worked out in my head....the vits and supps, and the food plan. But now I don't know. I am having a hard time finding stuff to eat that is okay and will agree with me. Yesterday, I bought cheese steaks for me and my son, I figure I wouldn't eat the roll and only have a little of the steak and guess what, I ate about a tablespoon or maybe a tblsp and a half and it was horrible. It was like stuck, It wouldn't come up, it wouldn't go down, it was stuck for over 3 or 4 hrs. I was trying to make myself feel better by drinking some oJ, well that didn't help. I wasn't even thinking I could be feeling ill from the darn sugar in the OJ. So needless to say I will never touch a cheesesteak again. And now I'm afraid to eat. My pouch is sore. I had some tuna last night, which was okay. But today I am really afraid to eat much. I had some cheese, but mostly sticking to liquids. Anyone else have this fear??
How did you conquere it and what are you trying to eat?
tonight I think I am going to try shrimp.

Oh, I am trying to think and not think about how fast I am going to lose weight. I think I will be into the 280's next week which will put me in the 50-60lbs lost, I guess thats pretty darn good, even though I don't feel like I am losing.  think I have like almost 2 weeks till my appt with dr. williams, I wonder if I will be over 50lbs down by then. I may make the 100lbs by 6mths mark.

Oh another question, how long did any of you wait till you started exercising? I mean like walking, nothing strenuous.
I am so confused, some sites say wait, so your body doesn't go into starvation mode, other sites say start as soon as you can and you will tone up....I don't know what to do. Any suggestions  will be welcomed.

I'm going to keep all of your pre and post ops in my prayers as well as everyone suffering from this horrible disease of obesity.

Lisa Hackenburg (postop lap/rny 10-23-03 Dr. Williams)
339/291?/141?

 

 


About Me
PA
Location
36.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/23/2003
Surgery Date
Jan 16, 2003
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
I cried taking these pics .(I had 63in waist and was 64 in tall !)
340+lbs
1yr and down 154lbs. (my waist is now 34in. as of 11-7-04)
186 lbslbs

Friends 9

Latest Blog 33
Hey ... update on life
I'm back...lol
September 2007
March 2007
October 2006
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