Surgery Scheduled!

Oct 03, 2010

Well, I have finally scheduled my surgery for October 22nd.  Making the decision to have weightloss surgery has been difficult for me, but after researching options and surgeries, I am committed that it has been the right one.  One thing about me in life is that I have always been an open book - telling people my deepest secrets if prompted.  I've never felt the need to hide anything about myself.  However, I have chosen to tell only 4 people about my surgery.  Two coworkers whom I trust, my BFF, and my husband.  My family doesn't know nor do my other coworkers and boss.  I feel that I need to protect myself and this journey - as though it is something sacred.  I guess for years I've been judged for my weight and weight gain - I don't want to be judged for the weight loss.  I don't know.  Maybe it just makes me feel vulnerable - as though the choice to have WLS is not as valid as "doing it on your own".  In the end, I just decided that it was no one's business but mine.

I'm anxious about the surgery and lifestyle afterwards.  Tomorrow, I go to have bloodwork done in order to get approval from my PCP that I am fit for surgery.  In this case, my endocrinologist will be the one clearing me for surgery.  I hate bloodwork.

This morning, I laid in bed thinking about how I was going to physically feel after the surgery and whether or not I would be in severe pain.  I don't think I will be but I guess you never know.  I touched my stomach above my belly button where I know the scar will be and wondered whether or not I would be able to get pregnant more easily after losing the weight.

My husband is being extremely supportive.  I've been eating whatever I want these last few days before beginning my liquid diet (per my surgeon's instructions).  Usually, I at least make some attempt to watch what I eat but lately I've just enjoyed food.  I'm certain I've gained more weight.

My surgeon is quite young - so much so that I was a little surprised.  He's very charismatic though and I could tell by the sparkle in his eyes that he's probably quite a comedian.  He took all of my questions in stride, which I imagine would have made other surgeon's roll their eyes.  I even went as far as to ask him why he decided to choose that particular field of medicine.  Clearly, his answer sufficed because I am allowing him to hack me open.  I can't imagine not going in with a list of questions before allowing someone to slice you open and remove your innards.  

All anxiety aside, I am looking forward to this journey. Perhaps October 22, 2010 will come to be celebrated as my rebirth date.

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