MichelleB12

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It's been years since I have been on this site. I wish I had remained active on it all along so there was a record of my journey... But today I'm struggling. I had dropped to 111 pounds at my lowest and was in a size 1. I loved it however, the people around my hassled me non stop. "You look sick!" You look like you have an eating disorder!" "You look like a ballerina!" and so on. So I got very comfortable eating whatever I wanted and drinking a lot of beer. (my fave) My plan was to get back to 120, which was a healthy weight for me. However, 120 came and went. So did 125 and now I'm up to 130. Which I do not like. I'm panicking bc I want to loose weight now. I'm not happy here at 130 and cant fit into my clothes. I feel fat, unattractive, and like I'm loosing control. Please understand that I know I am BLESSED beyond words to be 130 instead of 230! It's just that I no longer like myself here at 130. Much like I didn't like myself at 230... I hope that makes sense. I'm going to seek out some help on losing the extra 10 pounds. If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE contact me!!!  Love and encouragement to you all!!!!   PS If I knew how to work this darn site I would post pics of my journey but I can't figure it out! :(

 

Gosh, I can't believe it has been 4 years.... Greatest thing I have ever done for myself. My life was forever changed and I'm so grateful. I'm fit, healthy and happy. What more can you ask for.

My only concern is now watching weight gain. I have just recently gained about 10 pounds.... I can eat normal portions and I drink a LOT of beer! So I'm realizing that I really have to watch all that.

  I have lost around 85 pounds, 11 pounds under my goal! I feel great. Although, I still go to the XLARGE rack EVERY time I go shopping! I see something cute and have to think...wait, I can wear that!!!!  It's really amazing. I NEVER thought I would be here, I love it!

 Down 65 pounds BMI is 25

It's been forever since I have been on my profile, so I thought I should update. My weight loss has been very slow, but is finally just NOW picking up. I have lost a total of 46 pounds and I'm about 3 mo's out. I look and feel so much better. I went to the doc about a mo ago. He ordered all my blood work and everything came back great. My blood pressure is perfect and my BMI is down to a safe level. My doc was very pleased!   I still can't eat normally at all. Just a few bites here and there. I don't really care anymore, I just do the best I can. I struggle to get my protein in but focus on my water. I live in AZ and it has been 114!!!! I need to be drinking ALL DAY. I'm getting to place where the weight loss shows. (It seems like forever) I had a friend that I have not seen since last winter walk right by me yesterday. When I said her name she turned around and said "Shelley? I didn't even recognize you! You have lost so much weight!"  I must say, that did make me feel good.   I'm still wondering why the things that are bad for you go down so easy???(chocolate, ice cream, sweets) I can't seem to eat much meat at all. I live on fruit and protein bullets. NO JOKE! I miss food! In fact, I grieve food. I miss the satisfied feeling food used to give me. Now it doesn't matter how much I crave something, when I eat it, it's totally NOT satisfying!!! Nothing is satisfying, well, watermelon is I guess..... The good news is, my sleeve keeps me on track! Without it, I would have never been able to lose weight. The surgery has shown me just how much of an addiction I have, not "had"....HAVE to food. Without my tool I would be lost and much fatter! LOL!

I can't believe it has been almost a week since my surgery. (6 days). It's a bummer because I'm coming down with the chest cold that all 3 of my kids have had. I NEVER get sick and Dr. A gave ma Zpack to come home with....but I started coughing last night, and I'm in so much pain. All my incisions are burning and my chest is on fire. I have a about 100 temp and have a call into Susan just to be sure I can take a cough med with Codeine I want to call my doc first thing and get something right away before this goes into bronchitis which is "my thing" I do.

Why do I feel if it's not one thing it's another? Day before yesterday I swallowed a green bean (by accident, without thinking) Now I'm sick, I feel like everything is going against me... AND I'm hunger!! I wasn't expecting that. I thought they removed the part that tells you are hungry??? Last night I was starving! It was awful. I was up til 1:00 AM with hunger pains. I'm just being a cry baby because I don't feel good...

March 4, 2008
Ok, I made a huge mistake. I stayed up half the night reading memorials....... oh my goodness. It totally freaked me out. Most of the deaths are due to a P. E. or Septic Shock from a leak. I'm just so scared to have my surgeon so far away. If something goes wrong, I'm pretty much sunk, because other surgeons wont touch me with a 10 foot pole. (At least the ones who would know how to fix me) Oh Dear!!!! I'm 10 days away from leaving and not feeling so hot about the whole thing at this point!

Well, after going back and forth between Dr. Alvarez and Dr. Joya I decided on Dr. Alverez AKA "The Mexican Sleeve God" to perform my sleeve surgery. I have scheduled it for March 15th 08. I'm scared and excited all at the same time! So, the count is on!!!