Having a panic moment

May 21, 2012

Today I was looking at the calendar and realized my surgery date is creeping up quicker than I expected.  I am getting really nervous.  All I have done today is question the whole idea of surgery.  Do the risks outweight the benifits? Will I be successful? Do I need to give myself more time to lose it on my own? I really know the answers to these questions or I would not have gotten this far. I know this is fear talking.  Just feeling a littel overwhealmed today.  I want to be happy and healthy and the only way I see to do this is to have the surgery.  On the other hand, my husband married me fat and although we had the "I will love you no matter what" conversation, some things he said made me worry a little. He said when I lost weight with the sleeve I lost my breasts (I didn't have much to lose, but he is right). Although I did not with the sleeve, he worries I will lose my buttocks, lol. And he has verbalized concern for the saggy skin.  He says he is worried it will make me just as self conscious as being overweight.  I guess after 20 years together he knows me, because he is probably right, lol.  Anyway, then there was a post the other day that has me concerned.  I guess it has been proven that having the sleev or any other WLS after the band has less success and slower weight loss.  UGH!!!! Any weight losss would be great, but is it worth it if I am already set up not to be successful???!!!!! I just don't know.  Although busy at work today, I have been preoccupied with my own thoughts of surgery and doubt.  I am afraid the closer I get the worse it may get and I need to get a grip on this!

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