Dawnie 88

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my gosh..I'll be 16 mths postop tomorrow.  It's so hard to believe how much time has past already.  I am so thankful I had this surgery, my life has changed.  I can do so much more now that I couldn't do before surgery. Just the simple things..walking from the car to the house without being winded, walking through the grocery store..standing to do dishes for any length of time..I feel so much better.

This has very much been an emotional journey for me as well.  Seems I'm really finding the me that has been hidden for way too long.  I am getting attention from men, which has never happened before (well, at least not since i was a teenager..lol).  I don't know how to deal with that attention very well.  I love getting compliments, but it's difficult as well.  I've had people email me after seeing my picture on Facebook..and tell me how good i look..and all i can think is..well..it's just a picture..it's not really ME or how I look.  It was just a good day..good pose..etc..because i just cannot believe that anyone would think i was cute.

I am starting to feel comfortable in my body..loving the way I look..compared to before..but I still can't believe anyone else does. 

I feel pretty normal as far as eating goes.  I can eat most anything i want.  I do not eat pasta or breads (occasionally a piece of toast)..because both of those things upset my stomach.  I still can only eat 2oz of dense protein (like chicken breast) and that's a meal for me.  I have GREAT restriction..and i never eat until i feel stuffed.  I am still losing. I just lost 5 lbs within the last week..which is beyond thrilling for me!

I am so close to weighing under 200 lbs.  I am at 205 lbs this morning..and wearing loose fitting 16's..and i have one pair of size 14 jeans that i fit into. I cried tears of joy when i fit into those jeans.  I'll be crying again once i hit onederland i'm sure!

One heck of a year it's been..that's for sure!

Wow! I just realized how close I am to being in the one-hundreds.  I don't know why, but it just hit me.  I weigh 216 today..another 17 lbs and my weight will begin with a number one..OMG!   What a fabulous year it's been.  So many changes have happened.  I am so very blessed to have had this life changing surgery.  Thank you health insurance!

I was sent an email asking me some questions about my journey w/the sleeve.  Since there are quite a few questions, I figured I'd just post my answers to them here on my blog, hoping they can help someone else as well.  Just remember that these are my own personal feelings and experiences here, and yours may differ.

#1. What did you have for the 2-week liquids?
My surgeon requires his patients to purchase high protein foods from his office and eat only those for the two weeks prior to surgery.  You can find pictures of the foods I had chosen here in the photo section of my blog.  I'm happy I didn't have to do all liquids, but these foods I was allowed were horrible (only a few of the evening meals were simply ok).   I did lose 14 lbs in the two weeks prior to surgery.

#2.  Did they have you go off all your diabetes medications?
I did have to stop my medications, and I think I stopped them about a week before surgery..but I cannot remember exactly. Sorry..

#3. What were the best foods for the soft food stage?
Many people like Greek Yogurt (i don't).  Sugar free/fat free pudding, Cream Soups made with milk, Quaker weight control oatmeal, Coco Wheats, Protein drinks, Cottage Cheese, Refried Beans, Tofu (these are all items on the list from my surgeons office).  After getting in my 60 gr of protein for the day I was allowed to eat any of the following: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, winter squash, reduced fat wheat thins, green beans and applesauce.

#4.  When can you have solid foods? What are some of the foods you can eat? What can't you eat? What is completely forbidden?
Each surgeon is a bit different on this.  I had to wait until 6 weeks postop to have solid foods such as eggs, cheeses, chicken, fish, etc..  At 6 weeks postop I still was told to not eat any Beef or Pork (too dense) or peanut butter or nuts (too much fat).  I was told that Canned, Ground or Deli meats are better tolerated since they're a softer consistency and more moist.   

For me..I couldn't eat beef for quite awhile.  I think I was 5 months postop or so before I was able to tolerate it.  But tolerance for certain foods is highly individual.

#5.  WHat has been the best source of protein to get in your 70-80 grams a day?
My surgeon's daily goal is a minimum of 60 grams of protein a day for sleeve patients, and less than 40 grams of fat.  I eat alot of cottage cheese and reduced fat cheddar cheese during the day.  I also eat eggs most mornings, or leftover meat (roast, chicken, etc..).  I can get in my protein with just food now, but if I'm low on a day, i just make up a protein drink (Unjury unflavored protein powder and skim milk).

#6.  How do you deal with the emotional aspects of eating?
Each person is different I'm sure.  I am feeling quite 'normal' for the most part (now) with my eating.  I've gotten used to eating such small portions.  There are days when I get angry over how little it takes to fill me though.  That is usually when I'm eating something that tastes very good..and I want more.  When I start feeling myself getting angry or aggravated, I simply remind myself that having such a small stomach is a blessing at this moment..because I am only wanting more because it tastes good..NOT because I'm hungry.  Having a good support system is going to help alot.  It helps that my husband is here to talk to about any of this, and he listens very well. :)

#7.  Do you still have cravings?
Yes, there are times I feel like I'm craving something.  But I really don't think its a physical craving like I've had before surgery..I believe its just in my head that I'm really wanting a specific food.  I do give in to those cravings occasionally..but it only takes a little bit to satisfy me now.

#8. Do you feel full?
Yes, but it's not a full feeling like before surgery.  This is so hard to explain.  It's one of those things that you just know you're full.  One more bite and I feel I could get ill.  I don't really ever feel hungry, so I mostly am eating just because I know I have to eat and get in my protein for the day.  So I just eat until I get a feeling that if I eat more..I won't feel well.  Right now, at almost 11 mths postop I can only eat about 2.5 oz of chicken (or dense meat) and I get that full feeling.

#9. Is it possible to develop another addiction?
Most definitely!  Transfer addictions are very common after weight loss surgery.  With some people it becomes an addiction to shopping, with some maybe alcohol..etc..  I'm sure not everyone develops a transfer addiction though.

Ok..that was it!  I hope this info helps you.  If you ever have questions, feel free to message me!



#5.

Finally, as of last weekend my 5 week stall has ended (knock on wood).  I wasn't too terribly frustrated, because I have been losing consistently along the way.  My only 'real stall' was at 3 wks postop I stalled for two weeks, which is completely normal compared to everyone else.  Then at 9 mths postop I stalled..and just started back losing. I am so happy already, I cannot imagine what it will feel like to continue losing even more.  I started this journey at 354 lbs and a size 4x in tops, 32 in jeans.  Today I weigh 223 lbs and wear a size Large in tops and a size 16 in jeans.  Some of my tops are XL still, but others are Large. 

I had been hoping to lose alot this winter to surprise my parents when they return on May 1st from spending the winter in Florida.  I was 254 lbs when they last seen me on October 1st, and wearing a size 20 jeans.  So I'm hoping I look a bit smaller to them.  I haven't been doing as much exercise over the winter months, so I'm hoping to really kick it into gear once this darn snow melts off the sidewalks and I can get outside to walk.  My goal was to be at 200 lbs by my one year anniversary from surgery..which is April 16th.  I won't be making that, but I am still overjoyed with my loss so far.  I never expected to lose 131 lbs in only 10 mths..amazing!

Oh..and that Large shirt I am wearing..it's my husbands!! lol  I love that I can fit into his shirts now, never have been able to do that.  My husband weighs 214 lbs..so I don't have far to go to weigh less than him...can't wait!!

I am now 10 months postop and I currently weigh 225 lbs.  I have lost 129 lbs so far.  For this past month I have been stalled.  So I actually have lost the 129 lbs in 9 mths..lol  I started out at 354 lbs and wearing a size 32 jeans and a 4x shirt.  Today I wear between a 16 & 18 (depending on brand) and an XL shirt.  I couldn't be happier!  I am amazed whenever I look at pictures of myself before surgery.  I knew I was big, but never realized just how big I was.  I remember this quote I read somewhere.."You never know how bad you felt, until you feel good"...that is so true.

I feel so much better now.  I have so much more energy.  My house is definitely much cleaner now!  My husband is loving the changes in me.  He has told me many times how nervous he was about what the future held for us with me being so overweight (and diabetic and high blood pressure).  Before my surgery I was starting to have pain in my knees, and I can just imagine what other problems I would have had to deal with had I not had this surgery. 

We're both thankful that I am getting healthy now, and can do so many more things.  Our relationship has always been wonderful, but it's even better now because my self-esteem has improved greatly.  I am no longer down on myself and am a much happier person to be around. 

As far as eating goes, I still do NOT eat any pasta and very rarely I eat potatoes.  I don't eat bread, with the exception of maybe once every other week or so I toast a piece of bread and put peanut butter on it.   For breakfast many mornings I will eat one egg scrambled and 1/4 cup of cottage cheese and I'm satisfied.  If I'm eating boneless skinless chicken breasts..I can eat only 2oz and I am satisfied.  If the food is dense protein, I cannot eat much.  I have found that I can eat LOTS of popcorn, so I don't do that too often, but every now and then its nice to have a little more of something.  I get angry sometimes at how little it takes to fill me.  I know that's all something in my head that I have to deal with.  I really am happy I had this surgery though.

I tell everyone and anyone about my surgery.  I am hoping that anyone who is interested will feel free to ask me questions, and maybe I can help change some one elses life also.  I definitely feel like a new person, and my life has certainly changed..for the better!!

I can't believe it!  I bought a pair of 16 jeans today to see how they fit; my size 18's were getting loose.  The 16's fit! Granted, they are a little snug..but they fit!!  I am so happy.  NEVER did I think I would be in a size 16..down from a size 32..in less than 9 months postop. Somebody pinch me! lol

I just measured myself again today, because I haven't lost anything in about a week or so.  So far in 8-1/2 mths I have lost a total of 18-inches off my waist and 19-inches off my hips.  In just the last 6 weeks I have lost 2 inches from my hips and waist, and 12 pounds.  I started at a BMI of 58.9..Super Morbidly Obese.  Today my BMI is 38.2..just Obese.

I suppose I'll start this post with a little update on my weight loss along the way so far.

April 2010, 354# starting weight (surgery weight 340)..amounts below are from starting weight
2 mths postop..63# gone
3 mths postop..77# gone
4 mths postop..83# gone
5 mths postop..98# gone (100# lost at 5 mths 10 days)
6 mths postop..105#
7 mths postop..117# gone so far

I weigh 237 pounds as of today.  I was wearing a size 32 jean.  Today, it depends on the brand of jeans, but I'm claiming the lowest number that I have fit into, which is a size 18.  I never would have guessed back in April that by now I'd be in a size 18.  Whenever I get frustrated, I just remind myself that 7 mths ago I could have never picked out a pair of 18 jeans and fit into them.  That was a dream then, and a reality now.  I'm still actively losing weight, and I cannot wait to lose another 23 pounds so I will weigh less than my husband..lol  Then my next goal is to get under 200 pounds, again..another dream that I cannot believe will actually happen.

I'm feeling great.  I have so much more energy.  My house is much cleaner than it used to be...lol  I have days where I wish I could eat like I used to, and I don't mean the amount.  I just wish I could pick up a piece of pizza and take a big bite out of it and not have to chew it so much before swallowing.  Or take a normal bite from a hamburger.  BUT...I am very happy with my decision to have surgery. 

I am about 13 weeks post-op, just over 3 months ago I had the Vertical Sleeve.  I have lost 76 pounds so far.  I weighed 354 before surgery, 340 the day of surgery, and I now weigh 278.  I can remember when I was 354 pounds, getting under 300 pounds seemed impossible.  My next goal is to get to 250, which is now looking so close.

I remember feeling a bit of regret for the first few weeks after surgery.  I was having a hard time with being on just fluids, and watching my family all eat the foods I remembered and loved.  I guess I really realized just how addicted to food i was after surgery.  After I could start eating things like cottage cheese, I started to feel more normal, and gain confidence that I could really do this.  Since that point, I have had no regrets.  Now, there are fleeting moments when I stop and think about how drastic I had to go to lose weight, but it really is worth it for me.  I can't see myself ever getting to this point without the surgery.

I really cannot eat much.  If I fry or scramble an egg for breakfast, I can eat about 3/4 of it and I am full.  If I eat meatballs, I can almost finish 2 meatballs.  I eat maybe 2 oz of chicken breast.  The doctor says to eat protein first then vegetable..etc...I cannot eat anything after protein, because I'm too full.

I started out in a tight size 30/32 jeans, then a 28, 26 and am now wearing a size 24.  I went to Goodwill and purchased a size 22 so I can have them here and keep trying them on til they fit.  I am so happy with the changes I am experiencing so far.  At the movie theatre in our town, my hips used to hurt when sitting in the seats, I now fit in the seats without any pain at all.  I can now stand by the tub and bend over and scrub the tub/shower without holding my breath.  I bend over and paint my toe nails almost daily..loving that!  I can walk for longer periods of time, and not have my back hurting so bad that I have to stop and rest.  I can actually carry a conversation while walking.  The biggest thing for me, is that I no longer feel disgusting.  I now can say that I like myself.  My self-esteem is improving greatly. 

Anyhow, I just wanted to stop in and post.  I'm here daily, checking the boards, but I just procrastinated about getting this post made.  I love my sleeve!!

My surgery day was Friday April 16th, 2010 at 10:30 am.  I was asked to be at the hospital by 8:30am.  When i first got there I had to sit down and register, get a hospital band put on my wrist, and was taken to a room.  I was given a large hospital gown to put on, and asked to take everything else off.  Then I laid back on the bed, and they put the compression stockings on my legs and left me to wait for a 1/2 hour or so.  A lady came in from the lab and drew blood, and another nurse came in to go over everything that would be happening that morning.

Within the hour I was wheeled (in the bed) to preop holding.  Once there, I had a flurry of doctors surrounding me, one was a Physicians Assistant talking to me, another was a doctor putting in my IV.  A nurse was giving me a hat to put on my head and tuck my hair in, and the Surgeon came in to ask how i was feeling too.  The doctor didn't know if he liked how the IV was in, but said as long as my arm was down, it seemed to be working.  My husband sat with me, but it wasn't long and they wheeled me into the OR.  I was asked to slide over from the bed..to the operating table, with a little help from the nurses.  Next thing i know they have a mask over my face, telling me to take nice deep breaths.  I asked 'is this the stuff that helps knock me out?'..and next thing I know..I'm waking up in recovery.

As soon as I woke up, the nurses were asking where my pain level was at.  I told them i was at a 10 our of a 10, and i needed pain medicine.  They were hitting my arms, and trying to find a vein.  They told me that my other IV quit working, and they can't give me any pain med's until they get in a new IV.  They kept apologizing for hurting me, but I really didn't feel anything other than the pain from surgery..LOL  Finally, they got in an IV in my upper right arm.

I was put into a room with another girl who had RNY the day before me.  I only stayed there an hour or so, and then was wheeled into a private room.  That whole first day I primarily slept, and when I was awake I sucked on ice chips.  My mouth was so terribly dry.  I had a button to push for pain medicine whenever i needed it.  I used it often throughout the first day, only because they said its better to keep up with it, than to try and catch up to the pain w/med's.

I was up and walking the first night.  Wasn't that bad.  Had to sit a minute before standing to make sure i wasn't dizzy at first.  I was woken up all during the night for blood draw's, and to get insulin shots in my belly for my diabetes.  I don't take insulin at home at all, I take metformin, but in the hospital they didn't want me swallowing pills, so they did it with shots.  All my stats were fine, so the Dr. that came in to see me on Saturday morning said that I didn't need the Upper GI.

I was also told that If I kept down liquids, protein, and liquid pain medicine..that i could possibly go home that day.  They took out my IV, I started trying various protein drinks, and drinking sips of water, and the pain med..and was fine.  By 5pm I was discharged and able to go home.  I'm having discomfort, some pain from the one incision that the Doctor said my stomach was pulled from, but nothing horrible.  I'm Sleeved!!!