I can't believe it's been 4 months since I last posted. :o/

Aug 01, 2011

Well, here I am - doing pretty good actually!  I really have no particular complaints at all.  I've been trying to stay on track, and admittedly, it's not always easy.  I just do the best that I can everyday.  Since my surgery, I've come to look at life in a much different way.  I try not to use certain words anymore...i.e. "failed, failure, messed up, etc.".  I've come to know that even if I do something a little "different" than I should have, I don't set myself up by using words that tear me down emotionally.  I just "encourage" myself that I'll do something different IF it happens again!  I try to include all aspects of life in my daily living.  By that I mean that if I see something that I want, I've learned to do it, eat it, etc., but not allow it to "control"  or "dictate" to me like I did before.  I'm in control of my life.  I allow what I want - not the other way around.  It's such a liberating feeling to know that I'm living a wonderful "new life again"!

At this time, I'm awaiting  to hear from the insurance company to find out if my appeal letter will get a thumbs up for my thighplasty.  Either way, I'm going to have another revision to my left arm (this being the last time), to try and get it to look more uniform in appearance to my right arm.  I've never truly been pleased with either arm from the original brachioplasty surgery.  When problems developed with my original plastic surgeon (long story), being desperate to have my horrible arms done, I settled with having it done by my wls surgeon.  He saw my disappointment and knew how bad my arms were and I know that he honestly wanted to help me out.  I have to admit, I was one of his "first" patients, (he was newly certified when he did my brachio).  Somehow, I'd hoped that being  one of his first patients, I'd be a success.  Sadly that was not true.  I guess as they say, "practice makes perfect".  I must say however, that with how badly my arms were (each upper arm 24"+ around), they were a lot smaller after the 1st surgery.  They ended up being 14" on the right and about 16.5" on the left.  Better, but definitely NO cigars.  I prayed and prayed that the left arm would shrink to the size of the right, but it NEVER happened.  However,  I can't let it go without saying that I'm thankful for the attempt that my wls surgeon made trying to help my arms to look better.  Finally 1 1/2 yrs later, I found another great ps who wanted to try and correct the problem.  I was (and still am) very delighted that my new ps saw hope in getting my arms to look the same.  After the first try, they still didn't quite match up.  BUT, being the trooper that he is, he said that he would not give up - and he hasn't.  Six weeks ago, he did some lipo (if fact, I've had lipo twice), in preparation for having one last brachio revision on my left arm in the next couple of months.  He's such an awesome ps.  I would have just said "whatever", but he said "No, I'm going to make it right".  Sshhhhhh...I think he's a little bit of a "perfectionist", but for me that's a good thing!!! LOL!  He's the BEST!  At this point, I'm waiting to find out if I have been approved for the thighplasty, which he will do at the same time.   If the thighplasty is denied again, then I'll just go ahead and have the revision to my arm and maybe try for the 3rd and last time to get my thighs done at a later date.  I do have a lot of problems with lots of hanging, saggy skin, the chaffing, infections, and irritations with my thighs.  As a result, for the past 7 years, I have NOT gone without wearing some type of "spanx" type knee-length garment - DAILY - literally and I'm NOT lying to you!  Even when I go for my walk at work sometimes if the weather is warm, which is most of the time in California, I will sweat in my garment which is a bit uncomfortable until I "dry out".  {{{Sighing}}}!!!  Oh well, like I read from an earlier poster this morning, I'd rather live with some of these "post-op" problems than with the "pre-op" co-morbidities and problems I had.  This is a much better trade-off, thank God! :)

I pray for all who are getting ready to travel this road.  I've learned over the years that it is definitely NOT a quick fix.  I've read of most of the different types of surgeries (and perhaps if it was available to me at the time of my surgery, I might have chosen a different wls procedure); however, I have read and learned that, they ALL have some pros and cons - EVERY ONE OF THEM!!!  The main thing is to develop a new life style change that will be followed for life!  New habits that will keep me at my best health for the rest of my life!  Will I limit my carbs to zero? NO!  Will I cut out all fat? NOPE!  Will I stop eating sugar? BIG NOPE!!!  Will I exercise EVERYDAY?  Nawwww!  BUT!!! I will do my VERY BEST to live with BALANCE!!!  A little give and take here and there - but with balance!  I feel that without an obesity problem, this is how I would have lived my previous life!  Oh yes...some days I still have to battle the obesity demons in my thoughts ...remembering where I came from, with a panic and fear of going back!  Then I stop myself.  To live with THOSE FEARS will make me loose balance and start doing ridiculous things - like eating lettuce all day, for fear of gaining an ounce!  RIDICULOUS!!!  No...I won't live like that either!  Balance is the key!!!  Balance in every area - enjoying and embracing my New Life! 

On the 9th of this month - August -  it will be my 7th year surgiversary!!!  The number 7 has so many wonderful and significant meanings - especially Biblically!!  One of the meanings is COMPLETION!!!  I say I've completed the horrible season of Obesity in my life - NEVER TO RETURN AGAIN!!!  Hallelujah!!!  That cycle is BROKEN - FOREVER!!!  It's over and done with!!!  YES!!!  I'm free of the weight, and I'm living a life of good health and freedom.  I'm remembering the past, enjoying the present, and  SO looking forward to my future!!!  YES!!!  I thank God for this wonderful opportunity and 2nd chance that He's given me.  I've lost 156 pounds total, and I've kept it off!!!  I am SO proud of myself, and my family and friends are proud of me as well!  I believe that I've been a great example to those that I've mentored and I've always been open to share my experience with anyone who has asked me about the surgery and my life after wls.  Unfortunately, I've also experienced the sadness when someone that I've mentored took on the selfish and snooty attitude, once they lost the weight, thinking that they were "ALL THAT" - literally acting booshy and as if they didn't "know" me.  To bad that those attitudes make them look so Ugly, instead of the beautiful person that they think (yes THINK) they've become!!!  We ALL know that it feels wonderful to be and wear a smaller size, to buy smaller more beautiful clothing, to feel so much more energetic, and to do things that we haven't been able to do in years!  Not to mention the "high" of not having to take a handful of pills everyday!  BUT, please, KILL the ATTITUDE!  It doesn't "Look Good" on you!!!    Pun definitely INTENDED! 

Well...I think I've gotten caught up now.  I pray that my next post will be with the wonderful news of getting the approval for my thighplasty.  If not, I do so appreciate being able to have been approved for my previous procedures - panni, breast lift, brachioplasty, and brachio revisions!  I will NEVER stop praising God for how blessed I truly am!

Until next time...Today is my BEST day -  and you be blessed as well!
Always,
Rose

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