nfarris79
Freak-out turns into perspective-taking
Jun 25, 2013
This morning's weight pushed me into panic-attack zone: 125.0! While for most, that'd be a great weight to see on the scale, for me, it's nearly 10lbs above my lowest. Granted, my lowest was pretty dang low, and in the back of my mind I knew it was only attainable for a hot second (116lbs). But still, that number haunts me.... Maybe an illogical part of me wishes I could get back that low, because if I could attain it once.... But to attain it, I'd have to go way low on calories and if I have half a chance at surviving this marathon training uninjured, I probably do need to consume over 1000 cal/day!
Here's where the perspective kicks in: after I got done kicking myself, having the "come to Jesus" moment, and regretting all the unaccounted-for calories (I'm talking to you, Hershey's nuggets!!), I logged the new weight on MyFitnessPal. And mentally said, ok, buckle down and get off the carbs train! Then I noticed something.... apparently I'd weighted myself 2 days ago and forgot. I was 123.4lbs. Um, I don't think I ate so poorly yesterday that I actually gained 2 lbs overnight. I would have had to consume like 6,000 calories! I went a big carb-crazed yesterday but not THAT bad! So I looked over my reports of last week, then last month, then 90 days, then 180 days, then last year.... 125 is NOT the worst I've been! In fact, last July I weighed 129lbs. I had to take a look at what was going on in my life back then. I really thought I'd regained bad, back then, but I buckled down & changed my nutrition. I was also training for my first Half-Marathon and thru that process got back down into the low 120s/high teens. Yes, sometimes when you're in the beginning of an intense change in training, the scale will bounce up a bit.
Additionally, my tanita scale does the body fat percentage and it's consistently hovered between 17%-20% for quite a while. So I'm feeling better about this weigh-in. Yes, I have to make myself more accountable with every calorie I put in my mouth and yes I need to get a handle on the useless carbs (guava jelly, I'm talking to you!) but it's not the end of the world and it's not the end of my weight loss journey!!
Even in maintenance we need reminders....
Jun 22, 2013
I think yesterday was one of those "best laid plans of mice & men" kinda days. I started the day with a conscious choice to eat a bit more carbs in the am before seeing clients - - which led to a bit more gas that I was expecting, but whatever. So I went home thinking "do protein!". Ate some pork, which led to another friggen pita (whole wheat with good stats but REALLY didn't need more wheat carbs), which led to a Sweet Freedom cone, which led to some sugar-free cookies, which led to dumping and throwing up. Surprisingly I actually did 100+ g protein, but unsurprisingly I'm up a few pounds. Not just from yesterday, but from slightly less-than-accountable food diary logs. Really? Who do I think I'm fooling when I stop measuring/weighing/logging everything that goes in my mouth? Duh. So, back to basics and looking forward to our 13 mile run today.....
3rd Half Marathon: VA Wine Country 6/1/13
Jun 01, 2013
It was a very well-done race, lots of water stops & portapotties, picturesque location, and above all was very happy to support my mentee thru her first Half Marathon. I saw the struggle in her at the same places I struggled in my first Half but she ran 99% of the dang thing!
I'm feeling good enough that I'd decided to go on the FTM training run tomorrow.... Gonna take a nap now and keep off my feet as much as possible today!
VA Wine Country Half Marathon 6/1/13 TCDC Sat, Jun 1, 2013 7:18 AM Eastern Time (US & Canada) By nfarris79 Activity Type: Running | Event Type: Race | Course: -- Ran with mentee, very hot & dusty trail but we did pretty well for her first Half! One potty stop each and GU at mile 9. Like · Comments (0) PreviousNext Summary| Distance: | 13.22 mi |
| Time: | 2:41:13 |
| Avg Pace: | 12:12 min/mi |
| Elevation Gain: | 433 ft |
| Calories: | 775 C |
| Time: | 2:41:13 |
| Moving Time: | 2:37:20 |
| Elapsed Time: | 2:45:09 |
| Avg Pace: | 12:12 min/mi |
| Avg Moving Pace: | 11:54 min/mi |
| Best Pace: |
4:59 min/mi |
Surgeon's leaving bariatrics?
May 15, 2013
A few days ago I got a letter from my surgeon saying she's leaving the hospital and if I wanted to make an appointment with her before the end of June, etc. Well, since she'd closed her private practice 6 mo before my surgery, her changing jobs didn't surprise me. As incompetent as I think Sinai is, it also didn't surprise me that I couldn't get an appointment with her. What DID surprise me, is when I asked the scheduler if Dr. Long is moving to another hospital or practice in Maryland, she informed me that she's not going to be doing bariatrics AT ALL! Wha.....? I'm kinda tempted to email my surgeon to ask her what's going on, but that might be inappropriate. Maybe I'll email my surgeon when I complete Marine Corps Marathon, that should be a convenient excuse to find out the dirt!
I'm kinda bummed about it. I really liked my surgeon, even followed her to the hospital where I had my surgery, when she left her private practice, despite an increase in inconvenience to me b/c the hospital was way too far away. But now it looks like I'm going to have to find a new bariatric surgeon to do all my annual follow-ups with.... the closest dr doesn't take insurance at all but there's a new program at another local hospital (Montgomery General) and the surgeon is listed on my insurance plan, so hopefully that will work out for me....
And another one down..... an even BETTER 10K PR!
Apr 21, 2013
My garmin had me pretty close to the official time (52:53 total time with 8:29 average pace). First time number is start time, the 2nd is chip time, and a pace of 8:31! Amazing.... I give credit to speedwork and running with a much faster friend. Just kept trying to keep up with her was enough motivation to not give up!
Pike's Peek 10K April 21, 2013
| 894 | 58/217 | 987 | Nicole Farris | F | 33 | Germantown MD | 55:24 | 52:51 | 8:31 |
And another one down.... PR on 10K
Mar 24, 2013
I ran with my friend/mentor Andy and his friend Jenny and they made this run awesome! I volunteered before the race, so that was another hour of slicing bagels that I'll not eat... Slightly masochistic volunteering activity, I know, but at least I can enjoy that OTHER runners will consume the fruits of my labor! Weather was pretty good, bit cloudy and race time temp was 28.
10K Race Place Sex/Tot Div/Tot Num Name S Ag Hometown Club Time Pace ===== ======== ======== ===== =========== = == =============== ===== ======= =====
185 51/160 7/24 374 Nicole Farris F 33 Germantown MD MCRRC 57:20 9:14
Rock & Roll USA Half marathon 3/16/13
Mar 16, 2013
Done! They haven't posted the official chip time yet so here's the info from my Garmin... friggen PR!!! Best run ever!!!
Rock & Roll USA Half-Marathon Sat, Mar 16, 2013 8:11 AM Eastern Time (US & Canada) By nfarris79 Activity Type: Running | Event Type: Race | Course: -- Awesome race! Ran first 4-5 miles with Melissa, had to stop for LOOOONG line at portapotty and spent the rest of the race trying to catch up with her - apparently I passed her! Took a GU at mile 10, only 1 walking water break for 30 sec. Only did 3 of the water stops, drank entire 20oz handheld. Didn't rain afterall!!! Like · Comments (0) PreviousNext
Summary
| Distance: | 13.34 mi |
| Time: | 2:08:59 |
| Avg Pace: | 9:40 min/mi |
| Elevation Gain: | 1,429 ft |
| Calories: | 837 C |
Edited to add: Here's the official results (including the crazy bathroom break!)
Nicole Farris
#24107 , Half Marathon
| START | 00:00:00 | 8:11:39 am | -- |
| 5K | 00:33:03 | 8:44:42 am | 10:39 |
| 10K | 01:11:33 | 9:23:12 am | 12:24 |
| 10M | 01:47:09 | 9:58:48 am | 09:25 |
| FINISH | 02:17:11 | 10:28:50 am | 09:42 |
| Avg. Pace | 10:29 |
Another race bites the dust
Jan 14, 2013
I volunteered and ran in another race this past weekend (1/12/13) and here are my race results:
Shooting Starr 6K
Wheaton, MD Address corrections by 1/26/12 to: [email protected] Official Results 6K Race Place Sex/Tot Div/Tot Num Name S Ag Hometown Club Time Pace ===== ======== ======== ===== ===================== = == =================== ===== ======= =====
250 93/156 17/29 374 Nicole Farris F 33 Germantown MD MCRRC 34:56 9:23
I"m pretty proud of the pace! I didn't run with anyone and had volunteered with food prep from 6:30a-7:30a before the race, which included the torture of slicing bagels that I can't eat.....
get a grip
Jan 06, 2013
121.2 = not a happy camper. So I've gained 5 lbs from lowest weight. I know exactly how and am ashamed of it. Kinda like Al Roker said in an interview I recently saw - this surgery does not give you a skinny person's way of thinking and experiencing food, it just gives you the exterior image of the naturally thin person. It's really up to me to realize that the obese person is still there lurking and if I slip back into old habits or delude myself into thinking I can occasionally eat like a normal person, she'll come back. 5 lbs at a time, but she'll be back.
Even worse is the binging/disordered eating will come back if I'm not careful. I do NOT want to be bulimic again! Once in my life was way enough, when I was young and didn't know the damage it could cause my body and mind. Now I KNOW better, I know the tools to use to deal with emotions, so I just gotta use them!
I seek relief from stress, and it won't be found in the pantry or fridge. I seek answers to problems and they won't come to me thru food. I just gotta friggen buck up and deal with this stuff!!!! I'm starting to consider looking for a personal counselor, someone who specializes in eating issues and that I don't have any professional contact with.... hopefully that person exists in this area!
Ugh. Maintenance is hard. I just want to cry today.
First 5K of the new year results
Jan 02, 2013
Not a PR but pretty good considering the carb & alcohol content of the previous evening..... Really, who thought of running a race the morning of New Year's Day??? Insanity!
Place sex/total division/total bib# name gender age location club total time pace
219 69/171 7/23 374 Nicole Farris F 33 Germantown MD MCRRC 30:01 9:40
