Pegasus_AM

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Oh I could just kick myself right in the A@% !!!!! Dang it what is wrong with me aaarrrggghhhhh I came on here Saturday and posted my eating behavior goals for this week. Then I turned around less than 4 hours later and killed one of those goals, not just once but two days in a row. I made the goal not to eat after 8-9pm and turned around and started snacking like a ravenous beast at 11:30pm that night. I'm not sure if it was real hunger or head hunger. My stomach was growling and I felt hungry, I waited 15 minutes and still felt hungry but then instead of choosing something good to sate my hunger I ate a whole bag of chips. Not just on Saturday but Sunday as well, 2 days in a row sigh !!!! I'm so glad I have an appointment with my therapist on Wednesday, I need to figure this out. With my dietitian on leave due to family emergency till October I need someones help to get to the bottom of this. Okay time to get off this pity party train. I know I was wrong but I can't take it back now so I need to suck it up and pull up my big girl panties and get on with it. I can do this. I did great for 2 weeks, I made new goals and I achieved them so I just need to hit restart and start again. Thanx for listening to me rant.

Okay so last week I made some goals around my eating behaviours. I'm here today to report how I did this week and make goals for next week. I like to post it here because I feel it helps me to be accountable for my actions as I know others may read this. Last weeks goals were to continue with the previous goals set. ( no pop, 3 meals a day no skipping meals, increase water intake to 1.5-3 L water per day, start taking vitamins and only 1 ice tea per week) I then added the goals for this week to include no eating after 8-9pm, limiting my eating out to once a week and decrease my ice-cream trips. I feel I had a very successful week again. Yeah me !!!! I find these little goals being achieved empowering and it's building my self esteem. I was successfully in keeping all week 1 goals going. I drank no pop, drank at least 1.5 L of water per day most days 2.5-3L. I have been taking my vitamins everyday without fail, I had only one ice tea this week on Friday and I only missed one meal but that was due to an emergency I had to rush my partner to the hospital. This weeks goals were mostly met. I never ate after 8-9pm, I ate out only once on Friday at McDonald's and I chose a McChicken meal instead of my usual Double Big Mac meal although I did large size my drink which probably negated the better sandwich choice but still I ate out just once and I had ice-cream once but I found myself substituting frozen yogurt instead so I put a stop to that. I had ice-cream on Sunday as it was my daughters birthday and then on Monday and Tuesday I had frozen yogurt. Tuesday is went I realized what I was doing and put a stop to it. I did not eat any more ice-icream or frozen yogurt for the text of the week. Okay time to set goals for the up coming week. I will continue with week 1 and 2 goals plus add no fluid with my meals and slowing down my eating. I eat very very fast and I am usually the first one done even though I'm the last served so I will focus during my meals trying to be sure to chew each bite 20-30 times. I think I may struggle with this as I have always been told to hurry up while eating so this habit has been ingrained since childhood but I'm determined to kick this habit. Wish me luck :-) have a great week everybody :-)

I was reading another members post and she said she had called the bariatric clinic and had gotten an orientation session for August 18th/2014. I was so jealous !! I almost died. I decided then and there to call them and inquire into any cancellation and woot woot I'm going to the August 18th/2014 Orientation session too WOOHOO !!!!! I have sooooo much adrenaline running through my veins right now I'm so exited can you tell lol !!! God Bless this forum I'm telling you. I think I would still be sitting here wondering if they got my referral if it wasn't for the advice of other members to call and keep on there radar. I can't Thank you enough honest Thank you all so much !!!!! You are truly an amazing, fabulous, wonderful group of people and I have to admit I am not an overly religious person but God Bless you all !!!! Guess I better review that patient questionnaire and make sure it's completely up to date and ready to go. 11 days only 11 days woohoo !!! I feel like a kid at Christmas :-)

Well I made a few goals last week. 1. log all food intake, 2. No pop 3. No more than 1 ice tea per week 4. 3 meals per day, no skipping meals 5. increase water intake to at least 1.5-3 liters a day, 6. start taking vitamin supplements. I feel I did very well this week. I logged all food intake from last Saturday to this Saturday. I drank no pop and had just 1 large ice tea from McDonald's, I drank at least 1.5-3 liters of water flavored with Crystal Light everyday and I started taking 1 multivitamin, Calcium 500 mg, Vitamin D 1,000-2,000 IU, Vitamin B12 1200 mcg daily (I was already taking Iron 300mg at bedtime due to anemia) and only skipped lunch 1 day. It makes me feel very good to accomplish these few goals. I made no attempts to change food intake this week just to monitor. I did notice that I ate a lot of ice-cream some almost everyday, I ate out a lot and dealt with some mindless eating. I was eating more because I was bored I think than because I was hungry. I couldn't sleep so I got up and got a snack sigh :-( This week I plan to continue logging my food intake everyday being sure to eat 3 meals a day, no pop, good water intake 1.5-3 liters, take my supplements and no more than 1 ice-tea. I will also add the goals of trying to decrease eating out and consuming ice-cream. I will aim for no more than 1 meal eaten out poutine, burgers, pizza, etc..(excluding Subway) and 2 ice-cream trips and no eating after 8-9 pm at night. Wish me luck on my journey with food discovery and habit change, I hope that by sharing my goals with everybody here it will help me be accountable, usually I see my dietitian but she took a leave of absence due to a family emergency so I will use OH to help me till she returns  :-)

So I was filling out my 20 page patient questionnaire from HRRH and I came across the question do you snore ?? I was aware that I snored as my partner had complained mildly about it before which was part of what made me talk to my doctor about it. She in turn ordered a sleep study which showed that I have obstructive sleep apnea. I answered yes obviously but then the questions got a little harder and I found I needed my partner to help me answer them. I mean I'm not awake to hear myself snore so I couldn't answer the following question. When you snore is it ??? slightly louder than breathing ?? , as loud as talking ??, much louder than talking ??? can be heard from another adjacent room ??? My partner thinking he's being funny says to me one second honey let me go get Ted who is our next door neighbour (we will call him Ted as I didn't ask his permission to use his real name) I said why do you need to get Ted ??? He says joking "Well I'm sure he can answer your question as well as I can" lol Men they think they are soooo funny lol so needless to say I answered Can be heard from another adjacent room. hehehehe sorry Ted lol

I received my information package via email from HRRH today. They sent me the patient questionnaire WOW !! 20 pages, it is very detailed !!! They want to know everything, I'm not complaining by any means. I'm sure it's done to ensure patient safety and appropriateness for surgery but I have had a few surgeries and never had to fill out such a detailed questionnaire. It kind of makes me feel more confident in them if that makes any sense. It makes me feel like they are striving to ensure that every patient will be a good candidate and will succeed but at the same time it makes me nervous what if I'm not the type of candidate they are looking for :-( I have had problems with Pulmonary Embolisms and Deep Vein Thrombosis with past surgeries what if they consider me to high risk and exclude :-( I don't want to be this weight for the rest of my life :'-( The physician questionnaire is only like 3 pages. Well it's 8 pages in total but that include information for the physician about advising your patient to attend all appointments, costs not covered, calling to reschedule 48 hours in advance, strict no show, policies, etc... Pages 5-8 are the physician questions that are to be mailed/faxed back to them. They also send directions to information session and information confirming the date and time of the session you are to attend. You are also requested that you email them confirmation that you have received the information email. They seem very thorough, well since the information session is two months away I guess I have to start waiting again but at least I'm moving forward. I just hope I get accepted after they review my questionnaire, I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about being rejected. Now I have to try not to worry about it :-(

I have been very busy since Friday and haven't had a chance to post till now. I got my orientation date on Friday woohoo !!!. I called them on Wednesday to inquire about my referral status and dates for orientation sessions. I received a phone message late Thursday evening upon arriving home from appointments that HRRH had called to discuss my referral status. I called them back on Friday at 11:00 and was advised that she (did not give me a name) didn't know what I was talking about. I explained that I had received a phone message Thursday stating that someone (they didn't leave their name) wanted to discuss my referral status. She then replied Oh well I wasn't here yesterday and paused as if waiting for me to say Oh okay sorry to bother you, not happening. I stated my name and date of birth and asked if she could look into my referral status and the possibility of booking my orientation session.. She requested that I repeat the information as well as my phone number so I politely obliged and she stated she would look into it and get back to me. I hadn't heard from her by 3:00 so I called back and she again acted as if she didn't know what I was referring to, so I explained that I had spoken to her at 11:00 and she had stated she would look into my referral status and booking an orientation session date. She then stated Oh I've been extremely busy and again stated she would look into it and get back to me. I had an appointment to attend so I was disappointed i didn't think I would hear back from her. When I got home around 5:30 there was a message on the phone advising me that my referral had been located and my orientation session has been booked for September 29th 2014 1-4 YAAAAAAA !!!!! They asked me to call back with my e-mail address so they could send me more information, so I did also leaving a message that I could love for my name to be placed on the cancellation list if they have one. Moving through the process :-) Hoping to get a call for an earlier date but grateful that I have one at all :-)

I have called and left a message with the HRRH booking line. I am hoping the old saying the squeaky wheel gets oiled first will apply here instead of the squeaky tire getting yanked off and thrown away lol !!! I called about a week ago and got no response but as someone did mention maybe they are short staffed over the summer. I am hoping that by calling them I am staying on their radar but with my luck I am annoying them and getting put at the bottom of the pile. Just so anxious to get the process started. I know I should have more patience but I have never been good at patience, my mother can attest to that. I have always been a go out there an get it kinda girl so i find it so hard sitting waiting for it to come to me. I don`t feel I deserve it more than anybody else or anything like that. I guess i just wish the process worked a little faster. However I am using this time wisely and have cut out carbonated and caffeinated beverages out of my diet completely without much difficulty I might add, I expected it to be much harder. I have replaced it with water flavoured with crystal light. I have also started taking vitamins to help boost my immune system. I have never been a coffee or tea drinker, never smoked and I very infrequently drink alcohol so I don`t have to try cutting any of that from my diet. Now I am going to work on making sure I don`t skip meals. I currently have a tendency to graze all day long so I`m going to set a timer on my phone and start eating 3 meals a day. I might as well work on my dysfunctional relationship with food while I wait my turn.

I am really trying to be patient I swear but I'm failing miserably at it lol I'm wearing out my mailbox I check it at least twice a day. I suppose I'll get a bill from the post office if the hinges fall off due to wear and tear lol I have been referred to HRRH and I am now waiting for my orientation date. Does anybody know how often they run their sessions ?? What do you think they would do if I tried to sneak in lol

Emotional Tips;

Protect yourself emotionally: Only tell a few people about the surgery. Your inner circle, and be prepared that many of your closest family and friend will NOT understand. I chose to not disclose my surgery and am so glad I kept it to myself at work and w/ 99 percent of my friends and family.

Set boundaries: I have made it very clear to all, do NOT ask me how much weight I have lost. This is a long journey, there will be ups and downs and I do not need that pressure. I will share with my Sleever support group and Dr. for accountability purposes. You may ask how I am doing, how do I feel. People think they are being supportive and they do not know the pressure it puts on someone to perform.

Make your home a safe haven, especially at the beginning: preop and new post op (3-4 months) is a very fragile time. Physically yes, but the emotional journey is a huge part of the success. No need to make it harder. Make a list of your binge foods. The foods that you just know, if they are in the house I am going to obsess about them, they will call my name. And keep them out of your home. I keep hearing that "it's not fair that my family be deprived/suffer." YES, it is fair. They love you and you need their help. IF they are truly supportive they will eat those items out elsewhere. Maybe have a friend or spouse take the kids to a night out for pizza or whatever while you rest at home. Or have the spouse go out w/ a friend for their burger or Chinese fix. If the food is not in the house it is much more likely that you will not slip and eat it. Protect your sleeve. It is healing for up to a full year.

Make friends online: You need support. Information.  Find folks you click with, but ignore the negative dramatic sort. I like this site as well as FB: Gastric Sleeve support group. but I blocked a lot of folks who were just bringing negativity. I need healthy, positive support and good information. Networking has really helped.

Put away the scale; Weigh once a week. That's max. Post surgery, I'd even encourage you to wait to weigh after two weeks as your body is adjusting. Do not let the scale define your journey. It will mess with your head. it's only a tool for you to use; scientific feedback. Not the be all, end all. Put that scale in it's place.

Remind yourself of the big picture; Look 1-15 years down the road. If you stay on this path, where are you headed? WLS is not for the faint of heart. but what could a fresh start do for your health, for your life? Get that picture firmly placed in your mind. Focus on this being a journey of healing. Moving towards a healthier, more abundant, fulfilling life. Make a list of all the things you want to do that you could if you were not obese. Have a vision of your future. it will sustain you through the rough patches.

Physical tips:

PreOp; Follow your surgeons diet. Everyone has a different one. Do not binge or cheat. Ask your surgeon if you an add some protein (like an egg at breakfast and 3-4 oz of chicken or fish at lunch and dinner.)  I was allowed to do that and it saved me, but every Dr.is different, so do what they say to do. FYI; The day before surgery is clear liquids.

 And careful not to drink after the time they give you, pre-surgery, this is no joke. Had a gal online report she had her surgery cancelled because they found her chewing gum right before surgery. The anesthesiologist said the saliva she produced was enough to cancel it. WOW.

What to take to the hospital; A comfy outfit to change into day two. Your own pillow. An extension cord and charger for your iPhone. Something to read. Your current medications, but ask your surgeon when you are allowed to take oral meds. Chapstick and hand cream. A sleep mask and earplugs.

My worst days were day two and three, as I had a lot of pain from the gas they pump into your abdominal cavity to perform the surgery. Then day four and five, my incisions started to hurt, and I felt like my gut had been punched by a prize fighter. I did not sleep on my side until a week out. Putting pillows up under my knees as I slept on my back really helped. When you start to drink again, go SLOWLY, the ice chips; melt them in your mouth and warm them before you swallow. When you ge****er, drink from a cup and do not gulp. Small sips continuously. Dehydration is a big issue, stay on top of it. In the hospital and when you get home; walk walk walk away the gas pains. Gas x is controversial since it goes into your new stomach which is tender, I did not use it and believe that walking helps more. Rest as much as you can. The pain is tolerable. Remember, you WILL get through this. It is normal to have regrets on day two or three. Day four or five you turn the corner and you will feel better.

The liquid diet and then pureed diets are covered on other pages, but I will say this; GO SLOWLY! When you try anything new take one small bite and swallow. Wait. Wait some more. See how you are tolerating it prior to eating more. Stick CLOSELY and do not deviate at all to the food plan or timeline. Protect your tummy! it needs to heal. Get your protein in. Get your water in. Get your bariatric vitamins in. Take very good care of yourself, esp the first month.

I am eleven days out and I do not regret what I just went through. Rather I feel blessed and hopeful for a new future, an abundant life. All the best to you!- Michelle