Amy Pepper
Day 3
Mar 26, 2014
Well day 3 has come and gone. Ive done great! Im still feeling down about stuff. But hoping if I continue every day I will feel better. Im going to get myself up early in the am to get a walk in. Then after my goal for the day is 64 ounces water. No carbs. And 3 protein drinks.
Day 2
Mar 25, 2014
Just a quick check in. Did 2 miles. Yoga ball and a protein drink. Ugh. Tomorrows goal is 64 ounces water 2 protein drinks and 5 squats.
Day 1
Mar 24, 2014
Ok, after a small meltdown, a lot of tears, and some thought. I am re-starting my journey, Today.
So here goes...
Weigh in Day #1 199 pounds.
Today I did the tread mill just over a mile in 40 minutes. I also did an extra 7655 steps, or 3.4 miles.
I have decided, for my own sanity, I am going to track, everyday. I feel I hold myself more accountable when other people can see it.
And if anyone reading has any good advice, please feel free to share.
Tomorrows goal, get 2 miles on the treadmill. Hope I can do it!
Sadly...
Mar 23, 2014
I am not sure really where to begin. I have made many mistakes along the way. Gotten caught up and lost in this change...
I have been doing some serious soul searching, and more thinking about how things have changed so much since the day I had surgery....
I am miserable, and it is all my fault... I did so good in the beginning, I lost weight, I started getting more fit, then something changed, not just inside me... I started at over 300, got to 150, my goal was 130, I am now a fat 210... Im not sure when I quit caring but at some point, I just gave up. I lost all that weight, and was ready to move to the next step in my life, then I hit a wall, no way was insurance going to help me with any of the skin.. I worked so hard for what? Lose a bunch of weight to be stuck with mass amounts of skin hanging off my body everywhere. Why bother.. I traded being fat for having skin flaps hanging off me everywhere... So why keep trying... I gave up. Then started having medical issues, cant keep my blood sugars up, dont have normal bathroom habits, and the pain that came with that is just an added enjoyment...
I know I need to get over myself, go out and try to get back on track... But how, when I dont care, and nobody around me understands my pain at all... Not that blogging is going to help me, But I need to start somewhere, so my first step getting back to where I need to be is me coming back to this website, in hopes I can find a better me...
GI doc results
Oct 06, 2011
Well I am done with all my testing, colon marker testing, blood testing, stool testing. Fun shit, literally! 
Not Really! I really do wish when I started this process that I would have listened to people about what to look into. That there werent as many studies that went out years, looking into the effects, what the rates were of having issues. I looked, I read, I seen the things that could happen, but was told not me, Im healthy, I will do good, things will work good for me. I was even told the gastric was way better then the lap band, cause I was so fat. I have been thinking that these doctors push these surgeries cause they benefit from it, not because they care so much?!
I have had some serious ups, and downs since I started this process, I watched my mom almost die after her gastric bypass. Watched her have a second bypass, and almost die again. Shes been sick, lost too much weight and looks like death. Then, it was my turn, I had the surgery, went in knowing I could get sick, but I didn't! Yay! I got through it, recovered, and did great, except I didnt poop, then I had heart burn, then issues with my ovaries, and the the issues with scar tissues, and then the puking, and the pain, oh the pain. I kept going back, they kept telling me it was ok, I was fine, some people dont poop for days, some people have heart burn, some people, some people, its all I heard. I was even told, I made this choice, now I have to live with the consequences... Nice right? Ya, sweet! What a joke.
A little about a day in the life of Amy.I get up, take meds to help with the heart burn, wait fifteen minutes, take some more meds, wait again, have a full 12 ounce glass of water and then have more meds. In this time Im doing my best not to puke cause its hard to get it to stay down. I eat, wait, more meds, and then water, lots of it, YUM! NOT!! Between breakfast and lunch I have to get a small snack in, or my blood sugar drops too low and things get bad. And of course more meds, usually lunch is something easy to digest, chicken salad and crackers? If it is what my kids call a "Poop Day" I will spend the entire day in and out of the bathroom, the pain involved is intense, and once it starts you cannot stop it. After lunch I try to get the rest of my water in, But in the process I have to get some protein drinks in, and some more meds. Once I am done with dinner, I wait for an hour then finish meds, and water. At bed time I take more meds for my heart burn, some Tylenol cause now Im sore and have a headache from all the meds Im sure! lol. I take the Parkinson's med, and then something to help knock my ass out so I dont have to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling! If I go out anywhere in the public, I look to see and take note where the bathroom is, If Im going on a car trip, I make sure I know where there will be bathrooms, so if I need to stop, I can. And back to the poop were going...
I finished my colon marker test, and met with the GI today about that. Does anyone ever really listen to you? What you say? How you feel? Mmmm, no... He tested my blood, and poop, and urine and anything else he could test. What does he say? Well here goes... I am malnourished, have Malabsorption, am not getting the vitamins and nutrients my body needs. My poop has fat in it? Or some shit, my blood work shows why Im so tired, and can hardly function. Im anemic, thats nothing new. The heart burn, guess thats a common thing with RNY patients, And the painful pooping, its my colon... And its not "fixable". It is something I have to live with forever, He was kind enough to prescribe me something that will help me relax when I have to poop, nice right, ya mmm hmmm... And something for the heartburn. Great, fixed right? Ya, more meds, wonderful.
I know, I should be more positive, but how can I be? How can I be hopeful? How can I be happy? Ya, great I lost almost 150 pounds, but I wanted to lose the weight so I could spend time with my kids, now, that I lost it, Im sick all the time, cant do anything with my kids, Im more unhappy now then I was before. Why didnt someone tell me? Why was I so dumb? Why didnt I listen to the few who told me the bads, why why why? And will anyone listen to me? Will someone who is looking into the WLS see that its not as perfect as some make it out to be?
I hope, that I can touch at least one person, and make them think before they have surgery, think about the other options...
0 comments
Not Really! I really do wish when I started this process that I would have listened to people about what to look into. That there werent as many studies that went out years, looking into the effects, what the rates were of having issues. I looked, I read, I seen the things that could happen, but was told not me, Im healthy, I will do good, things will work good for me. I was even told the gastric was way better then the lap band, cause I was so fat. I have been thinking that these doctors push these surgeries cause they benefit from it, not because they care so much?! I have had some serious ups, and downs since I started this process, I watched my mom almost die after her gastric bypass. Watched her have a second bypass, and almost die again. Shes been sick, lost too much weight and looks like death. Then, it was my turn, I had the surgery, went in knowing I could get sick, but I didn't! Yay! I got through it, recovered, and did great, except I didnt poop, then I had heart burn, then issues with my ovaries, and the the issues with scar tissues, and then the puking, and the pain, oh the pain. I kept going back, they kept telling me it was ok, I was fine, some people dont poop for days, some people have heart burn, some people, some people, its all I heard. I was even told, I made this choice, now I have to live with the consequences... Nice right? Ya, sweet! What a joke.
A little about a day in the life of Amy.I get up, take meds to help with the heart burn, wait fifteen minutes, take some more meds, wait again, have a full 12 ounce glass of water and then have more meds. In this time Im doing my best not to puke cause its hard to get it to stay down. I eat, wait, more meds, and then water, lots of it, YUM! NOT!! Between breakfast and lunch I have to get a small snack in, or my blood sugar drops too low and things get bad. And of course more meds, usually lunch is something easy to digest, chicken salad and crackers? If it is what my kids call a "Poop Day" I will spend the entire day in and out of the bathroom, the pain involved is intense, and once it starts you cannot stop it. After lunch I try to get the rest of my water in, But in the process I have to get some protein drinks in, and some more meds. Once I am done with dinner, I wait for an hour then finish meds, and water. At bed time I take more meds for my heart burn, some Tylenol cause now Im sore and have a headache from all the meds Im sure! lol. I take the Parkinson's med, and then something to help knock my ass out so I dont have to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling! If I go out anywhere in the public, I look to see and take note where the bathroom is, If Im going on a car trip, I make sure I know where there will be bathrooms, so if I need to stop, I can. And back to the poop were going...
I finished my colon marker test, and met with the GI today about that. Does anyone ever really listen to you? What you say? How you feel? Mmmm, no... He tested my blood, and poop, and urine and anything else he could test. What does he say? Well here goes... I am malnourished, have Malabsorption, am not getting the vitamins and nutrients my body needs. My poop has fat in it? Or some shit, my blood work shows why Im so tired, and can hardly function. Im anemic, thats nothing new. The heart burn, guess thats a common thing with RNY patients, And the painful pooping, its my colon... And its not "fixable". It is something I have to live with forever, He was kind enough to prescribe me something that will help me relax when I have to poop, nice right, ya mmm hmmm... And something for the heartburn. Great, fixed right? Ya, more meds, wonderful.
I know, I should be more positive, but how can I be? How can I be hopeful? How can I be happy? Ya, great I lost almost 150 pounds, but I wanted to lose the weight so I could spend time with my kids, now, that I lost it, Im sick all the time, cant do anything with my kids, Im more unhappy now then I was before. Why didnt someone tell me? Why was I so dumb? Why didnt I listen to the few who told me the bads, why why why? And will anyone listen to me? Will someone who is looking into the WLS see that its not as perfect as some make it out to be?
I hope, that I can touch at least one person, and make them think before they have surgery, think about the other options...
Good news, bad news?
Sep 22, 2011
I spent some time with my neurologists yesterday. We talked about everything, including the meth positive urine test. He knew I was not doing meth so he had the pharmacist come in and she talked to me about my meds, what was given to me in the ER before my urine test was given. She made it very clear to me that THREE of my medications that I take regularly can make me pop a positive on a urine test for meth, and other drugs. So he put a note in there that he spoke with my pharmacist, and then they tested me to show that I was willing, again the test came back positive but what can I do? The doctor says it will always be positive for meth while I am taking these medications.
Moving on to the seizures, and fainting. He says all my test results say no I do not have epilepsy! Thank god, cause I dont know if I could handle MORE bad news. But he does think that all of my issues go back to my gastric bypass, and I do have to say, I agree with him. The pain that I am caused when I try to have a BM is insane. Nobody has really ever understood what I say when pain, but the neurologist thinks that the pain is so intense that is what is making me pass out, along with the high dose of ambien. So they cut the dose, and hopefully that will help me not pass out, and working with the GI doctor now to try and get to the bottom of my stomach issues. I am currently getting ready to go in for my first xray in my colon marker test. Hopefully this will be enough and I wont have to have tons of tests. Ugh it all sucks! II guess though, I am willing to do what I need to fix me. But along the way, this process of losing weight, regaining weight, having so many health issues I have begun to come to the conclusion we shouldnt mess with our insides like I have. Was the weight loss worth it? Would I rather be the fat normally healthy person I was when I was 317 pounds, or what I am now, 190 (After 40 pounds regained) unhealthy, cant poop, in tons of pain, fainting, unhappy, miserable really...
Everyone says, follow the rules, and everything will be okay, Not true, so not true, that is not how it works for everyone. Just following the rules doesnt always help, I get up at night, when Im asleep, and dont even know it until I get up in the am sick, I have been up several times and eaten, Im not hungry, and it makes me feel so sick. Im hypoglycemic, so whenever Im going to do an activity I need to snack on something, whether its exercise, or work, whatever....
Rules, ya, just throw them rules out the window...
0 comments
Moving on to the seizures, and fainting. He says all my test results say no I do not have epilepsy! Thank god, cause I dont know if I could handle MORE bad news. But he does think that all of my issues go back to my gastric bypass, and I do have to say, I agree with him. The pain that I am caused when I try to have a BM is insane. Nobody has really ever understood what I say when pain, but the neurologist thinks that the pain is so intense that is what is making me pass out, along with the high dose of ambien. So they cut the dose, and hopefully that will help me not pass out, and working with the GI doctor now to try and get to the bottom of my stomach issues. I am currently getting ready to go in for my first xray in my colon marker test. Hopefully this will be enough and I wont have to have tons of tests. Ugh it all sucks! II guess though, I am willing to do what I need to fix me. But along the way, this process of losing weight, regaining weight, having so many health issues I have begun to come to the conclusion we shouldnt mess with our insides like I have. Was the weight loss worth it? Would I rather be the fat normally healthy person I was when I was 317 pounds, or what I am now, 190 (After 40 pounds regained) unhealthy, cant poop, in tons of pain, fainting, unhappy, miserable really...
Everyone says, follow the rules, and everything will be okay, Not true, so not true, that is not how it works for everyone. Just following the rules doesnt always help, I get up at night, when Im asleep, and dont even know it until I get up in the am sick, I have been up several times and eaten, Im not hungry, and it makes me feel so sick. Im hypoglycemic, so whenever Im going to do an activity I need to snack on something, whether its exercise, or work, whatever....
Rules, ya, just throw them rules out the window...
Giving up!!!!
Sep 21, 2011
That is how I feel... Time to vent and let this all off my chest. So much has been going on, I just dont know where to start.
I have been having issues with my tummy, my intestines, and then my brain... Starting in July I was having problems with fainting and then having seizures. Or what was thought to be seizures. I had several trips in a ambulance, a few ER stints, and many tests including a 4 day hospital stay hooked to machines and wearing a helmet... Ive had an EEG with a small amount of abnormal activity, A catscan, a MRI and a 4 day video monitored EEG. Blood work ans urine testing. I know exciting right? And nothing, NOTHING was found except that small amount of abnormal activity. I was good for several days, the doctors came to a conclusion, I have RLS (Restless leg syndrome) And I take too much Ambien, 20 mg, when most people take 5. So, they cut the ambien in half, put me on a med for parkinsons disease that will help with all my RLS twitching. I came home from the 4 day hospital stay last week, I have been doing good, following all the rules they gave me. Last night, after pooping (Happens everytime) I fainted. When I came too the paramedics were here (yet again) and were trying to load me to the stretcher, rolling me on my side, I landed face down, on a glass, luckily I didnt cut myself. So when I get to the ER, they gave me something for my migrain, and benedryl. Im not sure why, and wasnt told why or that I was even getting it. They drew a ton of blood, and even too my urine. Now they literally let me sit in the ER for about 2 hours. The doc comes in and says to me, all my tests come back ok, and bla bla bla, then he sits at the end of my bed, and asks me if I wanna tell him something. Im like, no, should I? Is something wrong? Then he informs me that my urine test came back positive for methamphetamines! I didnt really know what to say! Im at a loss for words! I dont do drugs, Im sure all addicts say that but for real, I dont. My boyfriend then comes back into the room and says to the doc whats going on, doc continues to say the meth is why Im having problems so if I stop meth use Ill be okay! Now, my bf knows I dont use meth, and so do all my friends, but now, this stupid doc has put in my chart Im a meth user! He leaves and the nurse comes in to release me, so I ask her about false positives? SHe says some parkinsons meds, and other things can give a false positive, I remind the doc of the meds Im taking, he basically tells me to shut up and stop taking drugs! Im dumbfounded, no blood test was done, and being a criminal justice student I know the high possibilities of a false negative with a urine test. Why didnt he test my blood? Why was he so mean to me? Why do doctors just assume, and not really look into what is going on? Also, to top all this off, I am on day two of my 11 day colon marker test. I took my second pill today, 3rd tomorrow and am starting xrays on friday.
Im frustrated, angry, hurt, confused, everything, I can't explain all my feelings. Im tired, tired of fighting to get someone to listen to me. Tired of trying to fix me, tired of feeling all alone, tired of it all. It is too much, I can NOT take anymore.
I was fat before, but never this unhealthy. Now, three years out of my WLS, nothing but issues, sick all the damn time, and not minor things. These things are huge. Theres nothing like this feeling that if I hadnt had the gastric bypass I wouldnt be sick, no problems, sure Id still be fat but damnit Id take that over all this bullshit.....
0 comments
I have been having issues with my tummy, my intestines, and then my brain... Starting in July I was having problems with fainting and then having seizures. Or what was thought to be seizures. I had several trips in a ambulance, a few ER stints, and many tests including a 4 day hospital stay hooked to machines and wearing a helmet... Ive had an EEG with a small amount of abnormal activity, A catscan, a MRI and a 4 day video monitored EEG. Blood work ans urine testing. I know exciting right? And nothing, NOTHING was found except that small amount of abnormal activity. I was good for several days, the doctors came to a conclusion, I have RLS (Restless leg syndrome) And I take too much Ambien, 20 mg, when most people take 5. So, they cut the ambien in half, put me on a med for parkinsons disease that will help with all my RLS twitching. I came home from the 4 day hospital stay last week, I have been doing good, following all the rules they gave me. Last night, after pooping (Happens everytime) I fainted. When I came too the paramedics were here (yet again) and were trying to load me to the stretcher, rolling me on my side, I landed face down, on a glass, luckily I didnt cut myself. So when I get to the ER, they gave me something for my migrain, and benedryl. Im not sure why, and wasnt told why or that I was even getting it. They drew a ton of blood, and even too my urine. Now they literally let me sit in the ER for about 2 hours. The doc comes in and says to me, all my tests come back ok, and bla bla bla, then he sits at the end of my bed, and asks me if I wanna tell him something. Im like, no, should I? Is something wrong? Then he informs me that my urine test came back positive for methamphetamines! I didnt really know what to say! Im at a loss for words! I dont do drugs, Im sure all addicts say that but for real, I dont. My boyfriend then comes back into the room and says to the doc whats going on, doc continues to say the meth is why Im having problems so if I stop meth use Ill be okay! Now, my bf knows I dont use meth, and so do all my friends, but now, this stupid doc has put in my chart Im a meth user! He leaves and the nurse comes in to release me, so I ask her about false positives? SHe says some parkinsons meds, and other things can give a false positive, I remind the doc of the meds Im taking, he basically tells me to shut up and stop taking drugs! Im dumbfounded, no blood test was done, and being a criminal justice student I know the high possibilities of a false negative with a urine test. Why didnt he test my blood? Why was he so mean to me? Why do doctors just assume, and not really look into what is going on? Also, to top all this off, I am on day two of my 11 day colon marker test. I took my second pill today, 3rd tomorrow and am starting xrays on friday.
Im frustrated, angry, hurt, confused, everything, I can't explain all my feelings. Im tired, tired of fighting to get someone to listen to me. Tired of trying to fix me, tired of feeling all alone, tired of it all. It is too much, I can NOT take anymore.
I was fat before, but never this unhealthy. Now, three years out of my WLS, nothing but issues, sick all the damn time, and not minor things. These things are huge. Theres nothing like this feeling that if I hadnt had the gastric bypass I wouldnt be sick, no problems, sure Id still be fat but damnit Id take that over all this bullshit.....
What a week
Jul 20, 2011
In the last few days life as I know it has changed. I have been having all these issues with my insides, and have been pushed off repeatedly by doctors and left to suffer. Monday night after having one of my episodes I had a seizure, and passed out, I was out for half an hour. Then when I came to I was unable to remember anything for almost another hour. My child was left to take care of me, she did a spectacular job! Now,after 3 years of pain, the emergency room doc says that I passed out and had a seizure because my blood pressure dropped so low, and it dropped so low because of the attack I was having. He went on to inform me that he thought I Should get in and be seen because I may have crohns disease. What I read about it online, sounds like me, all of it, everything the symptoms, everything. So I want someone to explain to me, why in 3 years and all this pain, as many times as I have seen my doctors how come nobody thought of that? Is it such a hard thing? I have suffered and maybe needlessly. Ugh.. Now, that Im done complaining! Im making an appointment, and hoping to get the testing I need to get done. Getting things situated with my tummy and moving on my merry way, I know it wont be merry really, and its a long road to get better, but knowing is the first part, and being able to have someone understand that Im serious about the things that are happening to me.
Whew, feel better venting, and even moreso, knowing, knowing im not crazy, and that the things that are happening arent just
normal...
0 comments
Whew, feel better venting, and even moreso, knowing, knowing im not crazy, and that the things that are happening arent just
normal...
July Changes
Jul 07, 2011
After going back, reading my entries, and thinking, a lot of thinking, I have decided I need to think about the positive things that have happened. I'm going to try and stay positive, and keep telling myself these things.
I have lost a hundred pounds.
I can run with my kids (with skin flap tied down lol)
I can see my collar bones
I can fit in a booth
I can cross my legs
I can see my toes without having to bend over
And so many more!
I have filled my fridge with fruit, changed my meats over to turkey, mostly, Some of the stuff I'm making my kids wont eat as turkey! I'm keeping track of my water intake, upping my exercise, and logging my food for the day. I know I can get my ass back on track, alls I need is the motivation.
I have come a long way over the last few years. I have had my issues, and know my weaknesses. I also know my strengths, and have come too far to turn back now!
Hopping on the positive train!
Wish me luck!
0 comments
I have lost a hundred pounds.
I can run with my kids (with skin flap tied down lol)
I can see my collar bones
I can fit in a booth
I can cross my legs
I can see my toes without having to bend over
And so many more!
I have filled my fridge with fruit, changed my meats over to turkey, mostly, Some of the stuff I'm making my kids wont eat as turkey! I'm keeping track of my water intake, upping my exercise, and logging my food for the day. I know I can get my ass back on track, alls I need is the motivation.
I have come a long way over the last few years. I have had my issues, and know my weaknesses. I also know my strengths, and have come too far to turn back now!
Hopping on the positive train!
Wish me luck!
Lets be honest
Jun 29, 2011
Okay, time to be brutally honest with myself.
My stats, when I first started, before surgery I was 316, day of surgery, I was 250+ and at my lowest I was 153. I weighed myself tonight, 189.
Ouch that hurt. Oh wow, I hadnt realized until now how bad things have gotten. I am so tired, emotionally drained, feel as if I have been hit by a truck. I cant seem to get the energy I need, I sleep ten hours and get up feeling like I could sleep ten more. I have lost me in all of this, depression that has taken over my body.
Bah
I think I need to find myself some sort of a support system, maybe a group, someone who understands my problems, and can help me out of this rut...
I am so overwhelmed with those stats right now I can't even remember what I was going to post...
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day!
0 comments
My stats, when I first started, before surgery I was 316, day of surgery, I was 250+ and at my lowest I was 153. I weighed myself tonight, 189.
Ouch that hurt. Oh wow, I hadnt realized until now how bad things have gotten. I am so tired, emotionally drained, feel as if I have been hit by a truck. I cant seem to get the energy I need, I sleep ten hours and get up feeling like I could sleep ten more. I have lost me in all of this, depression that has taken over my body. Bah
I think I need to find myself some sort of a support system, maybe a group, someone who understands my problems, and can help me out of this rut...I am so overwhelmed with those stats right now I can't even remember what I was going to post...
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day!
About Me
Milaca, MN
Location
37.8
BMI
Surgery
12/30/2008
Surgery Date
Mar 09, 2008
Member Since
