phrazzledmom
I was a 10lb baby, turns out my mom had gestational diabetes and most of what she ate went to me. Growing up I was always a chubby kid, and back in the day we were always told to clean our plate, even if we didnt want to.
In high school I weighed 150lbs, not really heavy but still the biggest in my very small class of 21. Small town school. I maintained that weight until I got married. Had two babies by C-section and gained 60lbs with each pregnancy. After my first child was born I had gallbladder issues, and two weeks after delivering my son by c-section, I had my gallbladder removed. By then I was around 250lbs
I was a stay at home mom taking care of my boys and being that big, prevented me from being as active as I wanted to be. Cooking for my family became my life, kids and my husband then were big eaters. He was also a cook, and tried out recipes at home. I remember him telling me that he liked me at any weight. I know that is good, but some evil in there too. I pretty much ate what he ate and I shouldn't have. After 10 yrs of marriage, it started to fade and I didnt love him anymore. I had the Lap-band in 2004, lost 170lbs and that changed my husband. He was very intimidated by my weight loss and would follow me when I left the house. He became almost obssessed with my every move. He was not the man I married. I no longer felt anything for him. But I stayed a couple of year for the boys. By that time I was 427lbs. I hated myself, for how he made me feel, because I ate to release my emotions. I ate because I was unhappy, and unhappy because I ate. Those were the reasons why I gained weight. Being in an unhappy relationship. Losing that much weight, brought newfound freedom to my life, I visited more family, i went to places with friends, and went out walking. Because He didnt want to be a part of it, he stayed home. I wanted so much for him to be happy for me, and maybe do something about his own weight, ( he weighed almost 500lbs). I can't help those who don't want to help themselves.
My next move was to find a place to live, with my kids. I was able to stay at my brothers, but no room for my kids, and He wouldn't let me take them.
Why am I including all this? Because everything plays a part in this journey. Emotional eating and the hatred of some family are very hard on a person. while I lost that much weight, I gained some back with the death of my dear mother, my friend a couple of years ago. I was in such grief that I did not care what I put in my mouth, and I don't really know when that began. The death of my mom, and my divorce were two weeks apart. Alot of stress!!!!
Last December, I realized I needed help. My lap-band functioned for me for a long time, then something happened and everytime I ate, i would get shooting pain up my back and shoulder. This happened if I waited too long to eat too. I told the Dr. and he suggested a revision. So in May 2012 I started the process of going through all the necessary appointments. It's now almost September, and I have 2 appointments left, the sleep apnea Dr., which I have, and the Bariatric psychologist on Oct 1. So hopefully I will have a surgery date for October yet. I will be having the RNY surgery, but they will be taking the Lap-Band off.
I wanted to add, that I lost 170lbs, and gained 70lbs back. My lowest weight was 275 with the Band, which was not the right type of WLS for me to have. My current weight is 338.
That is my story, for now.
