Six Weeks To Go... "So Why Now?"

Apr 28, 2009

When I sit back and think- I mean REALLY think about my mere 24 years on this planet, I've always been overweight and never once been unhappy about it. I've been unhappy- I've been unhappy many many times but never once because my weight or appearance.

Throughout my school days I was nothing short of unique.. I was bullied of course because I stuck out like a soar thumb but bullying never lasted more than a couple of weeks because it simply didn't' bother me. Bullies couldn't believe me, when I showed no emotion or reaction to their taunts or actions so they just let me be.

In high school, some bullying but again same thing happened- they bullied, ignored etc etc. After a couple years in high school, I found that being the way I was a funny guy and I could my body as a way of entertaining. I never even thought about it, it was just natural. I was refereed to as the male equivalent to female comedienne Dawn French. It was an overnight reinvention of myself from this shy kid to this larger than life character. After another of couple of years I found I could entertain and reinvent myself again because who knew I could sing- and damn! could I sing!!

Once I graduated high school, a friend whom together we had entertained many, turned my attentions to writing and to perform stand up comedy. Entertaining people my own age was one thing but to entertain actual adults was a scary prospect. But I loved it and did it for a couple of years and again weight never came in to it. I used my body to my advantage- " I whored my obesity" to get laughs.

About 3 years ago my life took a detour that was so unbelievable and so wrong, so tragic that it messed me up pretty bad. I began to get overemotional at stupid things, I became depressed and contemplated suicide. Nothing seemed to go right, just bad to worse to Armageddon. I guess once the light was at the end of the tunnel, I possibly had some kind of a breakdown as a result of the things that happened.

Now in 2009, I'm still trying to piece my life back together bit by bit. I'm not who I once was and don't think I will ever be again, I lost my confidence, my spark, everything that once defined me is now gone and I'm slowly putting myself back on track.

Throughout my life I have always dieted and tried to loose weight. The most I would ever loose aloud be a couple of stone, then it would come back again it a vengeance. I never had a problem with being obese apart from the fact that it was bad for me and my body

My bypass surgery is in six weeks time and maybe once the surgery is over, I can begin a new reinvention and possibly get my life back.. Not to how it was but to maybe get it better than it has ever been before... Here's Hopin!!

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