Am I ready?

Mar 29, 2010

Made a call to my regular doctor.  Hopeing his nurse will call me back today and I can find out if I need to see him again, or if I can just drop off my insurance companies requirements and have him go over them them.  Or maybe I am just suppose to call the surgeon I want to see and start there?  Uggg....why is the hardest part NOT the surgery itself (or the life changes afterwards!)??

The more I read, the more I feel I am ready, but at the same time, I worry about what life will be like.  It will be different and I tend to avoid changes when I can, but I don't think I can live in that "safe place" anymore.  I can't chase my son around the park and that is dangerous because he won't always stop when I yell to him.  What if he ran into the street and got hit by a car because I was too heavy to catch him?  Losing my breath while walking from one side of the house to the other has got to stop too.  Overall I'm pretty healthy for being so overweight (not high blood pressure, no diabetes, etc), but it sure is making my life miserable.

I wish I had a list of things I had to do in order to get pre-approved for surgery, but apparently their requirements are very vague.  I wish there was a certain order in which to accomplish things.  Obviously I like order in my life, I'm good at following rules, when I know what the rules are!

I think I'm more freaked out about having to contact doctors and the insurance company more than I am about surgery itself.  I've had surgeries before, as long as I don't wake up vomiting, I'm good.

I hope the nurse calls me back soon.  I hate sitting here wondering if there is something else I am suppose to do.  I am willing to push through my fear of making phone calls and call the surgeon's office, but I don't even know what to say once I get someone on the phone!

Obviously I have more than just my weight interfering with my life.  Will that prevent me from having surgery?  I need to make my list of questions, but I don't even know what questions I should ask.  Really only can think of two.  Can I have surgery at all due to only having one kidney, and how will it work to take my meds after surgery.  I should be full of questions.

Should, should, should....that word gets the better of me every time.  Time to throw out the should and get on with my life and do what I have to do to be healthy and happy!

Wow....didn't even finish my post and the nurse called me back.  The doctor isn't in, but hopefully I will have some answers tomorrow about if he thinks I meet the requirements for surgery.

Deep breath.....ok, on with the day!

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