sherber22

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We're all susceptible to it, the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end, because all the worrying and the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying. Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are.

 Wow this is a roller coaster. Everyone around me has noticed how much weight I have lost but the silly thing is I feel the same. I know when I look in the mirror I look different.  ALthough inside I feel the same.  I am thankful that I have been able to loose weight finally but it has been bitter sweet.  The lack of enjoyment of food stinks and it is hard to rationalize my choice some times.  I worry a lot that I have done something that might hurt me in the end.  I worry that my labs will be low.  That my vitamins might be off.  Don't get me wrong i religiously take my vitamins but I don't weigh or measure out my food.  I get full so quick I feel like there might not even be a reason to.  When I decided to do this surgery did I think it would be like this?  No.  IS it strange to see your body changing? Yes.  AM I happy that I look different.  Yes but it is a weird feeling.  DO I think I could have lost weight with out this surgery.  No.  AM I totally happy with my decision.  The jury is still out.  I go back and forth, like I have said before this is the hardest journey of my life and some part of me thinks it is hard to have lost my good friend food to help me cope with it.  

7 weeks out and feeling better and better every day.  No real complications started going to the gym and really ready for a new healthy life.  This is hard real hard but I am learning every day what to do with this new stomach and the new me.  People comment and want to know what I did and I just say diet and exercise.  Which is the truth.  I might have had this surgery but I am not out there eating big macs.  It is protein shakes and 2 oz of food.  Hardly the easy way out.  I didn't feel like I could excist on this low amount of food but here I am 30 lbs gone.  So hang in there all those who are on this journey with me.  We can make it!

This is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my whole life.  I decided to get the Roux en Y and had no problem with doing it went jumped through all the hoops did all the test waited months. I am only 10 days out and wondering what did I do.  It is better today but man this is crazy.  I see why you need a psych eval.  Today is better than yesterday.  This is just really hard and not for the faint of heart.