3 months

Jun 08, 2009

 Wow this is a roller coaster. Everyone around me has noticed how much weight I have lost but the silly thing is I feel the same. I know when I look in the mirror I look different.  ALthough inside I feel the same.  I am thankful that I have been able to loose weight finally but it has been bitter sweet.  The lack of enjoyment of food stinks and it is hard to rationalize my choice some times.  I worry a lot that I have done something that might hurt me in the end.  I worry that my labs will be low.  That my vitamins might be off.  Don't get me wrong i religiously take my vitamins but I don't weigh or measure out my food.  I get full so quick I feel like there might not even be a reason to.  When I decided to do this surgery did I think it would be like this?  No.  IS it strange to see your body changing? Yes.  AM I happy that I look different.  Yes but it is a weird feeling.  DO I think I could have lost weight with out this surgery.  No.  AM I totally happy with my decision.  The jury is still out.  I go back and forth, like I have said before this is the hardest journey of my life and some part of me thinks it is hard to have lost my good friend food to help me cope with it.  

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