Sisa
I was very lucky that I was approved by my insurance without a hitch. Although the change of staff at Dr. Zare's office cause some paperwork delay- I stayed on their heels and got my approval and surgery appointment about 2 months after initial visit. I am glad that I got the VSG and my only complaint is that I continue to feel so much hunger (taking acid reducers-so not reflux). I also have very little restriction and have tolerance for most food. How do I know that -of course in an attempt to feel "normal" and because my hunger/cravings get the best of me. I am currently taking refined carbs out of my diet...I wasn’t eating bread but I was allowing some low fat/low calorie snacks that possibly making me crave more carbs. Somedays I was up in the 1400 calorie range. I am looking at my choice of snacks and food, even though the choices were extremely healthy compared to what I was eating before. Another fellow VSG’er challenged me to a carb detox and Im up for the challenge!
My original intention with this surgery was to resolve my diabetes. I knew that the change of hormones from the VSG would cause a metabolic change to help resolve the diabetes. Although that has happened somewhat my glucose readings are much better they aren’t what I wish the numbers to be. I wasn’t so prepared with the weight loss part of the surgery since in my mind it was just going to be a wonderful plus of the surgery. Now things have reversed. My principal concern is the weight loss and I have been obsessing about how I am still hungry, have little restriction, and tolerate lots of food. For some people it may not be easy to understand and I think it’s those people that have had with their surgery no hunger, good restriction and intolerance for the “bad” type of food. I have posted about my issues and have felt judged. I don’t need that especially because everyone reading my posts has had food issues.
Back to my story I wasn’t overweight all of my life- it really started when I found out my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and she had less than a year to live. At that same time I was planning for my wedding, she died 6 months after my wedding and it was a super painful time. Of course my friend food comforted me to my hearts content. At that time I had escalated to a size 14, I had been a size 9-10 and as younger gal I was a 7/8. My Dad moved in with my husband and his health was weakening. He died four years later. Before he died I was able to resolve issues we had with one another which was wonderful. Losing my last parent made me feel like an orphan-so lost. After he died I was the executor of his estate (he didnt have much but he only had a will) and that painful process lasted about 2.5 years with a looming 40k of taxes over my head. The housing boom busted and our house was upside down. While at the same time I had a 29 week 3lb premature baby that didn’t come home for months. In my life when it rains it pours…food that is. I became an emotional eater. I have had years and years of counseling which has helped.
I wish I could say that I was able to overcome all this on my own but I have been off and on anti-depressants/anxiety medication. I believe in medicine and while the medication helped I felt that sometimes it would get in my way of dealing with issues, like a crutch.
The year my Mom passed away I was diagnosed with diabetes and I think it was so related. It wasn’t like my weight was extreme but maybe extreme for me. I started to become a bit of a hermit, I was embarrassed of my weight gain. I was angry for the diabetes but I tried pills with no success and eventually got on insulin. Im not currently taking any insulin which is awesome.
Well Im starting to feel a bit of depression creeping in. Im so disappointed with some of the results of surgery…Im not one of those “lucky ones” that I have read about that has high restriction/tolerance and doesn’t have hunger … I know the vsg is a tool not the miracle cure but I was truly hoping for a more effective tool. Im trying to be very conscious about my emotional eating triggers and coming up with healthy options. Im slowly on my way.. .
