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So my official weigh in yesterday at the surgeons was a dissapointing 283.  My scale at home was 278, two days prior.  I think however I am totally retaining water because the inside of my legs are completely numb and my ankles have kind of turned into cankles.  I'm not depressed because my weight fluctuates day to day.  I'm going with my lowest weight and thats what I weigh despite how the scale fluctuates day to day.

On a seperate note, my girls are cheerleaders, so I was one our trampoline spotting them for back hand springs.  As I was getting off the trampoline I stepped on the side of the stairs, the stairs flipped, my ankle rolled, and down I went.  I wrenched my knee to the pain point of dry heaves.  That means all I can do is limp around.  Ice and Ibuprofen is what I'm using.  Yes, I know ibuprofen is a no no, but I have to do something for the swelling. 

Thats my update.  I currrently wear a size 22/24 in top and I can wear some size 20's on the bottom but we won't push it.  I think I'm a 22/24 both top and bottom :-) It sure does feel good to slide those 20's on.

So when I started this journey I wore a size 26 almost a 28.  I kept some of my old jeans with the hope that I would one day fit into them again.  My smallest pair of pants that I had in my closet was a size 22.  I fit into them a few weeks ago but they weren't completely comfortable but they were okay.  Today I slid them on, buttoned them easily, and had plenty of room.  As the day wore on, my pants became uncomfortably large and I have been yanking them up all day.  What a NSV!

Hello Journal Blog who I now really like to write to.  Six weeks have passed and so have 29 lbs since surgery and 66 since March!  Wow what a ride! Month one I lost 20lbs and here we are half way through month two and I am down 9lbs.  I've decided to be okay with what I've lost.  I'm retaining water because of the heat but I've also been eating salt which contributes and not nearly drinking enough H2O which doesn't help at all!!!!!!!!

My goal for this week was to work out twice.  It's only Wednesday and I've been swimming and I coached cheer.  My coaching involved jumping around teaching cheers for games and our competition routine as well as doing the choreography to the competition routine.

Working out twice in one week while maintaining my work schedule was a huge victory but the biggest and best victory was that I could dance and cheer with my girls this year!!!!!!!!!!!  Man was I sweating, it was my toughest workout yet but it was invigorating and totally a NSV.

I wrote earlier that my monthly gift lasted three days but I was wrong.  We are now on day eight and it is still here.  I haven't had it for years so I'm guessing thats why it's lasting forever but it's not something that I've missed since it's been gone.  Ah well the good the bad and the ugly comes with all the good that this surgery has done for my life in just six weeks!!!!!!!!!!

Today I went to a birthday party for my niece and I was okay with not eating cake and ice cream.  What a victory!!!  I still haven't told my husband's family about my surgery and since we don't normally see them, they seemed oblivious to the fact that I have lost 66lbs in 4.5 months.  I'm happy about that, don't misunderstand.

Who knew that I would be so in love with fruit, I had a hankering for some munching so instead of grabbing potato chips or pretzels I had 4 strawberries and I am totally satisfied and happy.  I feel great today!!!!!!!!!

On a heavier not I think I had like 700 calories today which is like 300 more than I normally eat.  I don't know if that is bad or good, maybe it's just cause everyone else was eating around me....

Okay I guess I though I was closer to 6 weeks then I really am.  For the first time in years I got my Period.  It only lasted 3 days but I haven't had my period in years and at that time it was induced by medicine.  I'm planning on getting the Mirena but that can't happen until the end of the month so until then Hubby is SOL.  He has begun calling my a flying squirell which he thinks is hilarious but I'm not so sure I'm in love with it.  Sometimes it doesn't bother me and sometimes it gets on my nerves. 

So my sleeping habits seem to be on couse since its almost 9pm and I am ready to drop.  I started eating fruit the other day and my oh my I am in love with watermelon!!!!  Fruit is a great laxative and I wasn't expecting it to work quite so well so that was definately a learning experience for me.  I'm following the dieticians order by trying one new thing a day and making sure when I am trying a new thing that a bathroom is nearby.

So I've lost 25lbs since surgery, thats 5lbs per week and I'm loving it.  I used to freak out when I stalled but it took a friend on here (Court) to make me realize that I'm okay!! (THANKS COURT!)

Can I be down 15lbs more by month 2?  Maybe yes but maybe no, either way I'll be proud of what I loose.

My goal for next week is to get to the gym or swim atleast twice!!!

So I am down to 289, thats far below 300!  Not that 289 is where I want to be but its a heck of a trip from 351.  I'd like to be 275 by the end of this month but I'm not sure that is going to happen.  Maybe a more realistic goal would be to be in the 270's.  My hubby is 274 and I would love to bypass him for the first time since we started dating 10 years ago.  Returning back to work has been harder than I thought; I'm not getting my fluids in and I'm not getting my protein in and by the time I get home I am too tired to go to the gym.  I guess I really need to be getting my sleeping schedule back on track before anything else.  My youngest daughter is really giving me a hard time right now as well which is adding to my collective stress.  Oh well it'll get better.

So I am totally 5 weeks out and back to work!  Mhy mood swings leave little to be desired and my husband and kids are suffering.  I prewarned my boss and she said it wasn't going to work and that I can prewarn her all that I want but to now let it happen.  Doesn't she know that if I could control it then I would?  bleep bleep bleep bleep.  Then she's like I do notice that you are more emotional, which inturn made me want to cry.  Maybe I will up my anxiety medicine and see if that helps...

Sooooooooooo, there is totally something wrong with my scale.  I went to see the surgeon today and I had lost 4 more lbs.  That's 20lbs in one month!  that's great, I've never lost 20lbs in a month.  I need to have my mom take pictures so that I can put them in my journal.  I was also released to do half days for the next three weeks.  My boss is happy.  I ate a few pieces of cucumber and tomato today even though I'm really not supposed to for another 2 weeks.  I needed the vegetables.  I needed something other than protein.  I also sneaked in some popcorn yesterday.  I didn't die but it's not something I plan to do every day.

So here I am almost to week 4 and I am totally stalled since week 2.  I know I can't obsess about the numbers on the scale but I am at the point where I think, why the heck did I do this?  I hate feeling this way.  I am depressed and mad and I think How is this possible?  I only eat 3 to 4 hundred calories a day.  I have to be doing something wrong.  I worry about this more then is normal, it had started to consume me.  How can my weight loss ride be over so soon?  If this is it then I seriously made a mistake......

On a lighter note.  Today I went to the beach with my family and for the First time in a long time I did not feel like the largest person on the beach...Thank God for small miracles that give me the strength to press on.

So last night I ate chicken breast and tonight I ate fish and did not throw up!!! I figured it out, I was eating more than my pouch could handle.  The little bugger was so full it couldn't take anymore.  I also went to the gym today and was able to complete 30min with a 5min cool down burning 252 calories.  I was never below a 2.5 incline and I was able to raise my speed to 2.0 with all that my heart rate stayed at 140!  What a huge difference since I began working out in April.  I couldn't even walk 30 min without my heart rate going sky high!  I'm going to keep it at 30 min three times a week with a heart rate of 140 for atleast this week.  My physical therapist said by 6 weeks out I should be doing 45 min 3 times a week.

So now that I touched on the positives lets look at the negatives.  My scale says I gained 3lbs and that puts me back at 300lbs.  It's so frustrating to be stalled but now it seems I'm gaining.  I'm so sad!!!!