vegasmommy314

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 Thank You to the always amazing Dr. Alvarez!!!!  I am one year out and down 106 Lbs.  Most people don't recognize me. I am now wearing a size 4! I had no idea that my structure even got that small LOL! I feel normal for the first time in my life. I don't feel like someone who has had weight loss surgery. I guess all the changes have been so wonderful I am still almost at a loss for words. It all still feels like a dream! I don't think that it has sunken in that this has actually happened to ME!?!   I have just never been this lucky!! 

 I have lost almost 100 pounds since my surgery and life is wonderful! I don"t think I have given enough credit to my surgeon. The more I talk to people the more I really do thank God for helping me find Dr. Alvarez.  I remember going to weight loss seminars and asking about the VSG and every surgeon here in Las Vegas said "That is a new procedure and we are not preforming it at this time." I am so glad that I was open enough to look into surgeons outside the US. NOt only does Dr. Alvarez preform the VSG but he does it well and does it often. I feel like he has done so many of these surgeries without complications that he should come and teach the doctors state side his techniques.  Thank YOU Dr. Alvarez and staff for changing my life!!!! It is mind blowing to think that I will spend more of my life looking and feeling like this than I did the way I was before. I am very much looking forward to life!!! It just gets better. Last year at this time I was just starting to think about weight loss surgery and I was checking into financing. Last year life kind of sucked. I was starting to not go out, not want to be around friends, or answer my front door. What a difference a year makes! 

 How do I begin to explain how this has changed my life......? Well I have never regretted my decision NEVER! I can cross my legs, I can feel bones I never knew were there..... I have seen that even I have small pointy knee caps(I didn't think I did). I can move, I can breathe, every time I snuggle with my DH I feel sexy..... even when wearing a stretched out stained old granny nightgown. It is weird, but I feel like the weight loss makes life in general easier to handle. I am happier than I can remember!  All this joy and elation despite the fact that we are loosing our home to foreclosure, loosing one of our cars, and filing bankruptcy. I know that if I was still heavy I could not handle any of this, but now........ I just smile and know that everything is going to be OK!  and we are young we will start again! In a situation that would depress most people.....You can't keep me down..... I slip on my pair of size 10s dance around the home we are about to loose and think to myself...... "MAN! Life is good!!!"  I still get very emotional when I see overweight people struggling to enjoy life. I am forever grateful to anyone or anything that got me to where I am today! God is with me and things couldn't be better!

I am officially panicking! Today I realized the overwhelming emotional attachment I have to food. I asked my Hubby if we could go out to eat for my last night of REALLY being able to get pleasure from eating. He said NO (not in the budget I guess). So I made dinner for my family. Fish, broccoli, and whole grain rice. Then I sat and wept and curled up and just cried. I'm going to miss food! It does make me feel better when I eat. I have to start looking for some other way to make me happy. I am still sad about loosing the food. I WANT TO EAT!!! I WANT ONE LAST CHANCE!!!! I will not get it. Tomorrow when I wake up....... It is a new me. I have to be brave. I can not let food make me feel like this. I will cry myself to sleep tonight and except the decisions that I have made. This week I'm sure will be a bumpy ride.

Wow this is real..... It is happening to me..... I have got funding. signed papers. Booked my flight and told friends and family. They have been better than I thought. At first they all said "But your not big enough" I guess they have realized that loving me blindly does not make me healthy Happy or thin. My sister is buying me a magic bullet as a surgery gift.... How sweet is that! My birthday is on June 29th and I really hope I can loose 20 to 30 pounds by then. Is that over reaching??? Maybe....... But I would also love to get into some size 4's.....LOL When I dream I dream BIG ehhhhh????

May 16th........ It is hard to think That will be the first day of the rest of my life. Who I am today....... I will never be again. My family and I are going to Legoland and Sea world this weekend. Normally I refuse to be in pictures........ this time I'm going to hog up the spot light. I want proof I want these pics to be my before pics. Next year my theme park pics will look very very different. Normally I get bigger every year.........NOT THIS YEAR......... And NEVER again.

Well I just got the call today and cried. I can't believe I can call the surgeon tomorrow and set a date. It is all so surreal. As I sit here I can feel my rolls of fat rub together. I can feel the points where my jeans are REAL tight in some spots. I am still a little winded from just getting off the phone, talking gets me out of breath. I can feel the slight pain in my knee from walking around the block earlier. And the swelling of my feet all tight and tender to walk on. And today I got the call................ I sit here trying to imagine what it will feel like to not get sweat under the roll that rests on my lap.? What will it feel like to cross my legs while I sit here? What will it feel like to finally be me????? I forgot what "ME" feels like........

March 24th 2008 I submitted an application for a medical loan today for 10,000 to cover the entire cost of my surgery. I looked into getting a better insurance to cover the procedure and the lady is calling me tomorrow. I have health insurance through Cigna but I am a lower BMI at 40 and they would make me appeal and do a 6 month diet. After that I would not be big enough. Even so I have a 3,000 co-pay and have to pay 20% after that. With the cost of the VSG here in Vegas being 22,000 I would end up paying close to the self pay price and without the option of payments. So I really hope I can get financed. Pray for me please