vickinicole

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So my weight has sky rocketed back up to 288 lbs.
I've gone through alot this year, moved several times, lost alot of money in the process. Had a big emotional breakdown over my boyfriend who was cheating on me. Had to check myself into a psychiatric hospital for a few nights.
More trouble with school, had to withdraw for Fall semester.
Lots and lots of problems this year.
Then I found out that my insurance carrier, Anthem Blue Cross, has said that they do not cover my WLS. This is per Scottsdale Bariatric Center. I actually have not followed up with them because of all the other things I was going through. I am tried of struggling, fighting and negativity.
I took 3 weeks off work, to get my head back on straight.

Right now I am refusing to entertain any negativity or anything that causes me to have to fight, so I am not going to contact the insurance carrier until my mentality is stronger.

Just trying to stay positive and optimistic.

I've had a headache for almost a week now, a stress headache, my shoulders and back hurt from so much built up stress. I cant even take ibuprofen or NSAIDS for it because they contribute to the ulcer I apparently developed. I had to take 14 days of PrevPac for that. For this headache I've been taking Tylenol everyday and it isnt helping much,

My surgeons office is really getting on my nerves. I thought I had to see the psychologist once a month for 6 months so I started seeing her and had seen her twice already.
But NO, They want me to see her once a week for 6 months. That's impossible. I would have to take 3 hours off at work every week because her office is all the way in Scottsdale which takes me about a hour to get there and 1 hour to get back to work, plus the hour session. My job would be very upset about that because I already take 4 hours a week off till April 1 for my 8 week  Chemistry class. I've pledged to do my best not to take anymore time off. because they were so understanding last week when I took time off to go to Detroit for my grandfathers funeral,
 plus time off for the sleep study a few weeks ago and a myriad of other Dr. appointments I've had to go to just to qualify for this surgery. Enough is Enough. I am sure my office manager and my boss just want a reliable employee who shows up and puts in her 8 hours of work per day.

So this was alot of drama and phone calls between the psychologist, me and the surgeons office. The psychologist doesn't work Fridays or Weekends which is the only free time I have. Friday evenings I dont have school, so that would've been good. Well the result is I have to start all over with another therapist. I was hoping to  go back to the therapist I was seeing last year. He is available evenings and weekends. So I go see him this Saturday and the problem is it turns out he is not a psychologist, he is a Licensed Practical Counselor (LPC), they actually require MORE education for LPC than psychologist. I believe you can be a psychologist with a bachelors degree. A LPC requires a Masters. Anyway, so now I have to see if SBC will let me see him, I have to ask them on Monday. I guess I thought that was all straightened out cause he talked to them, but today he said I need to ask them if its ok.  hopefully he can provide the surgeons office with everything they require after the 6 months. They actually called his office to speak to him and He understood that he needs to write a letter of endorsement at least 6 months out but it would still be at his discretion when he feels he can write it.

Anyway he can atleast see me on Friday evenings or saturdays. I also saw my psychiatrist today too. Thank goodness he can see me on saturdays. I wish all my Dr's could see me on Saturdays, then I wouldnt have any of these problems with my schedule.

Don't get me wrong. I do feel like I need all this therapy and behavior modification counseling, it just has to work with my busy lifestyle. I can't let myself get into a bad position at work because I am always taking time off and I can't let my grades slip or miss class so I can go to therapy.

I am really stressed with school. I am getting behind because I missed a weekend of studying when I went to Detroit. So I am 3-4 chapters behind on my math homework and I don't know how I did on my bio test since i didnt have time to study for it.

Also I am sleepy. I've been taking a myriad of medication for awhile. I wonder if the Depo Provera is what's making me cry all the time and feel so depressed. 
Every morning I take: prevPac, GNC Women's Ultra Mega multivitamin, GNC Fast Cal 500, Glucosamine with Chondroitin, Wellbutrin, B-12
Every evening I take: PrevPac, Iron, Benadryl, Melatonin, XYZAL, Singulair

I had a cat scan of my sinuses last friday and they are normal so I must just have allergies to something, he did say I have a deviated septum and should get surgery to breathe better. We'll see, I am stuck with a $172 bill from them for crap my insurance didnt cover, so I am really irritated with that particular ear nose and throat specialist right now. All these tests, sleep studies, endoscopy, all that shit to basically get no help. Atleast I found out I dont have sleep apnea and dont have a sinus infection.  I just dont know where I am supposed to get $172! Why didn't they check to see if something was covered by my insurance BEFORE they did it?

My boyfriend kinda wants to break up cause I have no time for him. He can't make up his mind. I told him it's up to him. Bottom line is I have no time, he can either wait it out, or break up with me. I'll be sad, but nothing i can do about it, I have shit to do you know? I cant juggle all this stuff. It's too much

My surgeon will be Dr. Blackstone of Scottsdale Bariatric Center here
in Phoenix. Her program and surgery comes with nutritionist,
psychologist, dietician who are all apart of her center SBC. She is
very strict, conservative, structured.
I had my first meeting with the psychologist and dietician this past
Monday.
The dietician said they request their patients drink that zero carb
isopure stuff.
The thing about SBC is they are so strict, the psychologist said he
recommended I go to another center cause he wasn't sure I would be
willing to do everything their center requires.
I told him I chose the center because it has a near perfect success
rate and I WANT the structure they in particular provide.
So he said he will only recommend me to the Dr. if I do 6 months of
behavior therapy with a psychologist and get on anti depressants. If I
am willing to do that, he will recommend me.
I said ok.

I am pre-op

I thought my food cost after surgery would be reduced
well I just tried doing a pre budget and it will actually go UP by about $40 a week, I had to adjust my budget and add $160 to my grocery budget.

it's because of the vitamins and 80 grams of protein you're required to have a day. Remember that your new stomach is really small so you wont be able to actually EAT 80 grams of protein a day. Most people get it thru drinking protein drinks. My doctors office, being as strict as they are, ask their patients to drink something called Zero Carb Isopure premade protein drinks. They have 40 g protein per bottle. If you drink one a day, plus your 3 meals a day with each meal about 15 g protein, you will easily get enough protein in. I don't know if I will be able to get in 15 g of protein per meal so I found this stuff called protein to go. It has 10 g protein in these tiny purse side to go baggies. You just pour it into your bottled water and there ya go. I'd have 1 of those a day too.

yea ok but

that ZeroCarb stuff cost $35 for a 12 pack, I'll need 30 per month. That will average to more than $70 a month.
That's not even including the new supplements I have to buy because I won't be able to take pills/capsules/tablets anymore after I get the surgery. Everything has to be either liquid form or chewables.

The protein 2 go is $16 for a 10 pack. I'll have to buy 3-10 packs each month. That's $48 a month.

Now can you see how my grocery budget will get higher after the surgery even though I will be eating 1/4 the food I eat now?

Here's the menu/budget I came up with. I would like suggestions BUT keep in mind that I choose convenience over money in my lifestyle, even though I am broke and in debt. Convenience comes first because I work full time, go to school full time and am a caretaker for my grandmother full time. I wake up at 6am , 7 days a week and get home at 10pm ,  I barely get enough sleep. No cooking/blending/preparing food can be included in your suggestions cause it aint gonna happen. Any other suggestions are welcome such as other choices of pre made foods, or other choices of 40+ g protein drinks,e tc.. places for coupons, samples, etc... 

Post Op GROCERIES
Pre Breakfast Snack: Nature's Best® Isopure Zero Carb pre-made protein drink ($35/12 pack) Required Bariatric Advantage supplements: calcium citrate ($14), b-12 ($14), multivitamin ($14)	$26.00
	$11
Breakfast: low fat or sugar free: 2 - cottage cheese 3 –Fage Greek Yogurt 2 - ricotta cheese	$7
Lunch: 2 - Trader Joes salmon salad 1- Trader Joes salad with beef or poultry bag of raw spinach 1 - Trader Joes Baked chicken with rice pilaf	$18
Dinner: 4 - South Beach diet frozen meal   (split and eat half)	$16
24 pack - Bottled water box of protein2Go ($16/10 pack)	$4
	$12
TOTAL WEEKLY GROCERY BILL IS APPROXIMATELY =>	$94.00

I am wanting the laproscopic gastric bypass RNY which my surgeon, Dr. Robin Blackstone, specializes in   i have a few questions for anyone whose had this surgery; did you need a drainage and how long did it stay in? how long will a catheter stay in? how long before you can have sex after the surgery? how long did you stay in the hospital? whats the average time it takes to heal?

argh
so twice today coworkers have cornered me to tell me about their relatives and friends who've had horrible and disastrous effects from the surgery.

It's frustrating

I'm getting major surgery, and I didn't make the decision on a whim. I've researched it and am quite aware that it will change my life and that I won't be able to eat certain foods ever without getting sick. I know that lots of people gain the weight back. I know that a percentage have more complications and some die from complications from the surgery.

I also know that for the majority of people who get WLS, it was the best decision they ever made. 

I'm not going to make my decision based on fear.

I'm basing it on who I am, who I want to be, what my goals are.
I am a Exercise and Wellness major. This surgery is only going to be a "tool" to help me achieve my goals. It is not the final solution that will get me where I want to be, but it will help me along with my education, exercise and my goals which will all add up to the motivation I need.

I wish I would have known about the upfront costs of this surgery beforehand. I thought my insurance covered it all. I don't really have any disposable income so everything i spend has to be budgeted.
Anyway, my initial 4 hour consultation with Scottsdale Bariatric will be January 28, 2008. I have to pay $325 up front plus my $10 co pay. My insurance is BC/BS of CA.

I feel like my grandmother, my aunt and a few of my co workers are not supportive of my surgery decision. They have made some unsupportive remarks and comments that irritate me.

Luckily I have a co worker who has had the surgery who is very excited for me and tells me to make sure I talk to her and keep her informed. I also have my best friend Rose who is also on the road to getting this surgery, so it's great to have someone to vent to and talk to and share information with.
My boyfriend is also very supportive because he just wants me to be happy and healthy. It's nice to have someone like that in my corner.

I went to the seminar in Scottsdale for the surgery
I'd already been to a seminar for bariatric surgery previously when i lived in Boston. I just didn't have the motivation to jump through all the hoops needed to follow through with the surgery program.
It's ALOT of stuff you have to do and I wasn't prepared for that. At the time I thought you just decide to get it, have insurance and schedule a date to get it done.
No.
They require all kinds of tests and diets and education and psych exams and just alot of stuff that can be both costly as well as time consuming.

It's 3 years later now and I've had alot more time to think about it, and prepare for all that needs to be done and done more research on other people's experiences, bodies, etc., etc.. so I am much more prepared for what I will have to do.

Anyway I turned in my New Patient Application and letter of medical necessity to the Center, I made extra medical releases, about 10 for them to get my records from as many of my previous doctors and hospitals I could remember. There are about 5 hospitilizations that I cannot remembre the name pf the hospitals which sucks. Like I pretty much can't remember any of the hospitals in detroit except Henry Ford. That time was so long ago that it's all blurry. I don't even think I knew about keeping records or anything back then. I was a teenager. Also when I lived in the group home and when I was in the psychiatric hospital briefly as a teen when i was 16, I don't remember where I went for physicals and stuff like that. I have no idea where to even start getting that info. There was a couple times where I was on vacation in various places and I had asthma attacks and was admitted to the hospital, twice in Georgia and once in Masachusetts and there is no way I can remember where, when or what those hospitals are. It sucks to have holes in my medical history. I wish there was a National Personal Medical History Directory where you could just put in your social security number and they pull up all your information from all over the country, any hospitalizations or doctors you'e ever seen in your lifetime. 
If I become president, maybe I will start one.
Also, I will never remember where I got the Phen - Fen so I have no proof of having taken that and I have no history of dr. supervised diets programs. I hope they can take my word for it.

Anyway so they have my info, they said the next step is they will verify everything with my insurance and find out my requirements and then they will give me a call to set up my initial consultation.

I am ready to get started down this road. I am prepared this time.

Today I:
1. picked up the letter of medical necessity from my PCP
2. completed my 23 page new patient form from Scottsdale Bariatric Center
3. Joined Weight Watchers to start my first ever commercial weight loss program. I figure I will do W.W. for the 6 month supervised weight loss requirement, along with seeing my Dr. each month for Meridia and for him to document I've been doing the program. Interesting concept and the W.W. meeting was cool. I'm a exercise and wellness major and study alot about nutrition as well, it will be interesting to see what component this W.W. contributes to my weight loss success that designing my own programs didn't do, if any. We'll see. Maybe the accountability factor will contribute much more than I had previously considered.

well since i last posted here I lost and gained an additional 30 lbs. I was down to 230 lbs. and was doing pretty well then the stress of school knocked my focus off and I started gaining it all back.

I have been using Meridia for 2 months and it's not working. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt. I still binge eat and am not motivated to exericise.

However, now I have a job and health insurance. Blue Cross Blue Shield of CA. I told my PCP (Dr. Zacher) yesterday that I am interested in getting bariatric surgery so he gave me info on Scottsdale Bariatric Center, whom he has worked with before.

One of my coworkers got the surgery 4 years ago with our current insurance so i am hopeful that I can get it as well.

I am currently filling out the packet for SBC and I am going to their info seminar on January 6, 2008.

Hopefully this will be the start of the road to me getting the surgery.
I have had a lot of good things happen for me the last year. I got a job, health insurance, a boyfriend, got all A's in school, moved in with my grandma and can save money now so I can get my finances in order since my credit is horrible. I really feel like in general my life is going in a great direction, it will be so great if i can get this surgery and get a hold of this weight thing ya know?