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When they say that you are in Bandster Hell they are not joking. So I'm sitting on the couch watching one of my favorite sci fi programs and then it happens the Mc**b is back. My favorite sandwich is back and taunting me. I'm watching actors expressing extreme joy  as they sink their teeth in to the best sandwich ever created by that particular fast food chain. The processed meat/pork product coated with rich tangy barbque sauce and a bed of pickles and onions are sandwiched between a soft supple bun with just the right amount of sesame seeds sprinkled on top. Yep it's that good and of course the fast food chain is a champion of product placement. There are at least five commercials advertising the tandalizing treat before the show is over. At that time, I seriously considered buying one, chewing it in my mouth and then spitting out the contents. Of course this posed too much of a challenge for me because I could not comprehend spewing out a delectable treat in such a vial manner. So I stayed in bed, tossing and turning all night long. The next morning feeling miserable and out of control I came to the conclusion that I am a SERIOUS food addict. In addition, Which is seriously disturbing (I'm a sheep to advertising) I immediately logged on to obesityhelp.com and felt comforted by the words of encouragment displayed in each posting.  I'm glad to know that there is a name for what I'm going through. I'm gonna go to the gym. UGH.

So it's New years eve and I am having the worst case of post operation depression ever. I mean I live in Las Vegas which is party central for the west coast and I cannot par take in the festivities. No food, alcohol, not even hanging out in the crowd because I'm one week post op. Oh I tried to go to a local casino to get the feel the crowd but it was a bunch of  locals, which equaled to pretty much blah. Right now I cannot tell if I'm emotionally hungry or really hungry. My doctor stated that I will be on Liquids for a little over a month. I still have 26 days to go. I admit that I'm tripping. I have visions of pizzas, burgers, hotdogs and ice cream. I know that those choices are pretty much done but I miss them soo much. However, when I'm able to chew again I think I'll feel human again.   So that my vent for the evening.

Okay, so I was a little apprehensive about letting go of all of my favorite foods. However its supposed to be a brand new me in 2009. Now let me be honest here. That surgery was like the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life. Sprained ankles, car accidents have nothing on this kind of pain. Why is it so painful? I can sum it up in one word..GAS! The trapped gas travels up your back , bloats your stomach and for some reason settles in your shoulder. At first , the only kind of medication that can alleviate this mind crippling pain is MORPHINE. Dear sweet nectar of the Gods.. the morphine pump is your best friend. Not to mention the delightful hallucinations that caress you during your drug induced sleep. I personally had a woman with powder blue sleeves caressed my sides  to try to ease the gas while I slumbered.  ( good times) But then the day after surgery arrives, you are told that you must walk around the hospital a few times to be allowed to leave the hospital. So I hit the morphine pump, watched as they removed the catheter ( not as scary as I thought) and walked around that hospital like a woman on a mission. Thank goodness for those acting lessons in high school but I passed with flying colors and was released from the hospital an hour later. The trip to the drug store was okay until I felt the morphine slowly slipping out of my system. I tried to get every thing as quickly as possible before the pain became unbearable chewable pepcid, liquid loritab, apple juice, liquid Tylenol. My goodness we really need to work on customer service in America .It seemed like everyone person that worked at the store was working at a snails pace. As soon as I arrive home I take my pain medication and my attitude improves drastically.