I WantTo Cry

KatnMac
on 2/4/16 8:10 pm
VSG on 02/15/16

I really appreciate your offer to talk if I need to. ? I love the idea of focusing on a physical activity rather than on food. It's been amazing to me how much of everything we do seems to center around food... Meeting friends, business meetings, relaxing. I'm trying to take the attitude today that this is the beginning of a new me, and I'm really getting excited at the thought of getting to know her.

Dan1962
on 2/4/16 5:42 am - Syracuse, NY
VSG on 09/23/14

Obviously you made the decision to do this because you need a change.  To be successful you need to be a little/lot selfish from time to time.  I sat down with my wife and explained that thing were going to change and I didn't negotiate.  I needed to be in an environment that was putting me on the path to success.  For example, I said I would not be going out to dinner for a while.  She could suck it up and be with me, go out with friends, have lunch with friends, etc, but I wouldn't be there.  I do most of the cooking also and I still made here carbs, but some of the dishes I used to make are permanently off the menu.  She could live with it or make it herself (my chicken, mushroom, rice casserole is outstanding...but I digress).  

I heard her telling one of her friends that I was militant about my changed lifestyle and she was proud of me.  I felt guilty when I laid down the law but it was, and continues to be worth it.  Focus on what you want to accomplish, not the stuff you can't do.  The changes required are real.

Today, i go out to dinner, have a piece of birthday cake.  With that said, I don't eat many carbs, I don't over eat, I walk a lot, and food is not the center of my universe any longer.  Good luck!

  

    

    
KatnMac
on 2/4/16 8:17 pm
VSG on 02/15/16

I will admit I wasn't that forceful or determined with my husband when I spoke with him today, but we definitely agreed on several things, one being that I won't go out to eat again for awhile. He's also going to make sure he and the kids have dinner before I get home from work. If they're running late, I'll just go to our local Hastings and study for awhile. 

He he said he felt bad about last night, and will be 100 percent supportive. He also said he's proud I'm taking this step and the efforts I'm making to exercise, especially with having to go off my RA Medes until after the surgery.

ubserved
on 2/4/16 8:26 pm

 

Sometimes it just takes pointing out to someone who is crossing the line. They may not even realize they are crossing the line. The way you will know is after your chat, if it continues....Good luck.

Grim_Traveller
on 2/4/16 6:01 am
RNY on 08/21/12

You did great. Especially considering the situation.

It's always hardest at first. You are going through a physical and mental withdrawal from food. It gets better, it really does.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

KatnMac
on 2/4/16 8:18 pm
VSG on 02/15/16

I really appreciate you saying this. I'm looking forward to it getting easier!

Pattywattywu
on 2/4/16 6:08 am

Hang in there. I am six weeks out and there are struggles for us all along the way. I get sad too b/c I can't eat whatever I want. My relationship with food is changing significantly and although it is all for the good, I am still sad about it sometimes. I am now trying to navigate the back to regular food phase and trying hard to stay in the weight loss lane and not re-introduce anything bad. Every day I drive to work and pass all the food places that I would fly through all hours of the day eating to console and comfort myself. I can do this and so can you! I also live with someone who is overweight and eats the same way that I used to. It is hard.  I want this really bad and you will find that the weight loss is so motivating that you have more strength than ever to do the right thing.  People are noticing and I am overjoyed with my progress.  We are all so much alike - we were all obese at one time - and we all have the potential to make this the best decision of our life and make it a success.

HW/269 SW/247 M1-17 M2-14   

KatnMac
on 2/4/16 8:25 pm
VSG on 02/15/16

I want, and hope, that my relationship with food changes, but I find the thought scary too. Food has always been my friend, when I'm happy or sad, or angry or depressed... It has always been the constant for me. It's kinda funny, but losing food in the way I use it now gives me more apprehension than complications from surgery. But more than that, I want to be healthy and happy in new ways. Not ashamed when I have speaking engagements of how I look. I realized today I want that more than food.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you at home. Until last night, my husband he been totally supportive, which is part of what threw me for the loop. My daughter is having a hard time with me having the surgery.... She's a big eater too. But my hope is my (soon to be) healthy eating habits when I get back to solid food have a real effect on her.

Thank you for sharing!

psychoticparrot
on 2/4/16 7:02 am

The pre-op liquids are a tour de force of sheer will power, because you have nothing yet to help you curb cravings.

Don't let the difficulty of this stage persuade you to opt out of sleeve surgery. I've used this analogy before -- before the sleeve, losing weight is like trying to swim upstream in a strong current, sustainable for only a short time. After the sleeve, losing the weight is like swimming in calm lake; it still takes some effort, but it's SO much easier to control hunger and cravings. 

The sleeve is what makes weight loss and maintenance possible. If I had to do this through sheer willpower, there would be no hope for me -- none.

Keep muscling through the pre-op liquids. A birthday during the hardest 2-3 days after the start of the liquids was truly unfortunate. You will find that sticking to the liquids will become a bit easier soon, and they're so important for your surgery to go well.

You did great, even if you wanted to cry with hunger and frustration. Firmly tell your family that this is not a matter for teasing or tempting. You need this to have a safe surgery -- that should encourage them to help you rather than make things harder for you. My husband even ate his pizza in another room, so I wouldn't have to see or smell it during my pre-op liquids.

 

psychoticparrot

  "Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

KatnMac
on 2/4/16 8:32 pm
VSG on 02/15/16

You make me smile. And I love your analogy. I'm going to think of it during the times it is rough. It's also helping to put into perspective why the sleeve will work when dieting didn't. I don't have the willpower to do this forever, but kind posts such as yours and all the others are helping me keep it for the next couple of weeks. Thank you!

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