Need Advise on Changing My Thinking - kind of long...

I have done pretty good with the weight loss so far but I know it has been mostly the surgery and not so much changes I have made.  I KNOW that there are psychological changes that I have not made that need to be made - but I do not know where to start.  I am still eating wrong - just not as much as I once was.  This is going to hinder my weight loss in the long run and I will eventually be right back where I started.  I do NOT want this to happen.  I am asking all of you have made the changes necessary for long term weight loss for some guidance to how you changed your mindset and your habits. 

For instance, I do NOT get sick as I had hoped from sweets - I can still have my ice cream.  Now I do not have a huge bowl of it as I once did, but nightly for the last couple of weeks I have had some.  This is not benefiting my weight loss!  I don't know how to change my routine without it making me sick.  It was my hope that if it made me sick that would train my mind into reaching for something else.  I am looking for realistic ways to retrain my mind from people who have been there. 

The fact that I am aware that I have these issues is a huge step for me!  I think this means I am not only ready to make the needed changes but able to do it with some good knowledge on my side.

denaraye,

I understand exactly what you are saying...   How far out from surgery are you ?  I had my surgery 13 months ago and am struggling with some of the same issues... I too live in Michigan..Praying for you !

 

I am ten months out.  I have found boredom and stress to be my biggest issues - and of course my life is full of both right now.  I am also not good with the exercise I should be doing.  It has been too hot lately to walk with my work buddies.  Thanks for the prayers! 

What I've found that works for me is get rid of the food. Get it out of the house, throw it away, give it away but got rid of it. You can't eat icecream if you don't have any, right? Eventually you stop craving those things.

Like, I couldn't live without my diet coke. But it has now been a few months since I've had any and when I tried it this past weekend, I didn't like it and chose to drink water instead.

Anyways, it's just a suggestion. You may find it works for you too

Just want you to know I feel the same way and that you're not alone! I posted a few days ago asking vets for their advice on maintenance and got a lot of really helpful answers- they may help you a bit too. I tried therapy, but didn't really mesh well with my therapist- I hope to find a new one once work winds down.

I'm about 11 months out. I'm getting bad, to the point where everyday is "I'll get back on my diet tomorrow" which I know is a horrible mindset! I have basically stopped losing, but I know I could lose more if I stuck to it. I hope some vets can give us the advice we need here because I hadn't really been able to pinpoint my problem until I read your post...

One thing I do do- when the light bulb clicks on and I realize I need to get back on track, I throw away the tempting foods. Just last night I threw 3/4 of a box of cookies down the garbage disposal, and it was because I ate the other 1/4 of a box in one day and realized they're too much of a temptation for me to have in the house. I just kept going back for 1 more, and 1 more, etc. I know I need to change the habit and not buy the cookies, but at least it'll be a little while before I buy them again and go through this all over again. For now, the cookies are gone. Seems like a waste of money, and it is, but until I can change my habits and not buy them, I take advantage of getting rid of temptations when I'm in the right mindset.

I don't keep food that I am tempted by in the house.

I'm sure I could write this super-long post (edited to say I guess I did when I didn't mean to)  attempting to explain how and where my journey has taken me, but instead of being long-winded and verbose, I'll just say that I changed when I put myself first.  

I put myself first in this way:

>>I made a commitment to exercise, no excuses

>>I made a commitment to not be the person I was (you know, the one that got me to the place where I needed surgery)

>>I made a commitment to not being perfect, to accept that I have weaknesses and failability

>>I made a commitment to accept those weaknesses and learn from them

>>I made a commitment to leave behind the all or nothing thinking

>>I made a commitment to develop a "normal" relationship with food; one that is not filled with dysfunction

>>I made a commitment to always, always keep the focus on my journey, my habits, my needs

>>I made a commitment to not let food rule my life; but to let me rule my food

>>I made a commitment to a vision I had for myself and I work constantly on keeping that vision alive

>>I made a commitment to feel my emotions, live with them, relish them, and respect them and NOT supress them with food

>>I made a commitment to health and longevity

>>I made a commitment to becoming the best me possible

>>I made a commitment to "living fully" the rest of my life, not sitting on life's sidelines

and most importantly I made a commitment to me for the rest of my life and I hold that above all else!

I do believe there is merit in retraining yourself -- because essentially it's that retraining and those new habits that will get you going and keep you on the path.  But it is equally important (at least for me) to envelop myself in the "creation" of me.  Determine what it is I want; secure a path to that goal; and live accordingly.  To be ever vigilent, and understand that I'm not perfect, that I'm just me with flaws and mistakes and pieces that will never be up-to-snuff, but to be accepting of that.  Plus a key concept that I've embraced is the journey is the destination.

 

 

Like!

We're all a work in progress.  I have an ongoing conversation with myself, telling myself that I have achieved my goal of getting back to the size and shape that I was 40 years ago.  I have pretty clothes again and I feel good when I am with friends and family, slipping back to burying myself in food is not worth what I have right now.  

1. stay out of the kitchen

2. pin up pictures of your before image.

3. shop for new clothes...you don't have to buy them.

4. keep busy.  volunteer, join a support group, change your focus.

5. exercise more.

6. put a list of things you can eat on the refrigerator, computer screen, bathroom mirror and plan ahead.  Make a menu for the week and have the ingredients in stock.

7. Eat to live, Not live to eat.  Food isn't that important.  Measure your portions.  Stay away from the sweets, they make you hungry, even the artificial sweeteners.

Personally, I have a online job, a B & B, a glass bead making hobby, gardening addiction, and paint as in fine arts.  I keep in touch with friends, mostly on FB, belong to a literary club, quilter's club, and a community org.  I don't have time to eat.

 Change really is the key to success.

You should read the book Change Anything (www.vitalsmarts.com/changeanything). It has some great tips for changing behaviors and a chapter specifically about weight loss. Highly recommend!