Breaking down!

I am new here and have mentioned that I am getting my surgery on October 1st.

With the surgery still being 2 months away I feel myself letting go a bit with my food. I feel like I need to eat certain things because I won't be able to have them after. With that said, I know I've gained weight! About 2-3 months ago I was 235 and I weighed in today at 252!

Why I'm breaking down right now is that my parents (who for the most part have been very supportive) are making comments to me like "are you going to be able to control yourself after surgery?" Or "you've gained weight recently".

I'm so sensitive right now and just went into the bathroom to break down. This is hard enough as it is and looking in the mirror I see the 15-17 lbs I've gained and I know the rough road ahead of me but I need people who believe in me right now.

Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to express these feelings.

Oh, Nadia - my heart is breaking for you! I was so blessed when I had my surgery because everyone around me was so supportive.

I also gained a bit of weight just prior to surgery - and I actually did follow my pre-op diet - another fine example of how screwed up my metabolism was. Just keep trying to do your best. After surgery, you will be following a much stricter plan, and your body will actually respond! I can say this because, unlike your parents, I've been there and done that.

There probably isn't much you can say to your parents right now - but in a few months, you can let your success speak for itself. In the meantime, keep coming here, learn all you can about being successful with your surgery, and feel free to come here and vent as much as you want - we do understand!

I did the exact same, just keep trying, we all have problems hun thats why we get the surgery. Today is a new day, just do your best. It gets much easier to follow plan after surgery. Just make sure you adhere to the pre op liquid diet-- the doc cant operate with food in there. Youll be fine, you can do this!

I am also gaining weight. My surgery is in 10 days and I find my mind saying, "I want xyz cuz I will never be able to eat it again", and I have gained 4 lbs, which on top of what I had already gained with my filled band, makes me panic also. Since I don't need a pre op diet, I just keep eating. Be kind to yourself. Please don't beat yourself up. I have faith our surgeries will be as successful as the stories I read on this forum.

Your feelings are normal! When I had my original RNY, it was in 2001. Back then, I didn't have to go on liquids prior to surgery, do you know how many "last suppers" I had before my surgery?? I gained a lot of weight from the time I was approved until the date of my surgery (about 4 mos) But guess what? I had no issues with my surgery --- I actually lost about 250 lbs. and et me tell you, the hard part is not the surgery itself---the hard part is overcoming your mind. I know I am a true food addict, emotional eater, etc.  I kept my weight off a long time, had a baby, but in the last couple years really put it back on. I had my revision on 7/12/13---and I'm down 39 lbs. So yes, there is always risk with ANY surgery, but a bigger risk is continuing to stay overweight. You will be fine!!

Wow that's amazing... 39 lbs since 7/12!

Keep up the amazing work!

Thanks for the support all! It really does help knowing that there is a community out there who's been or is going through the same.

I am 100% confident in the surgery... I guess I'm just going through a roller coaster of emotions right now.

Here for the long haul

Nadia, I felt the same as you.  In fact, my surgeon even asked me if I was going to have a 'last supper' and if I was, what it would be.  I told him deep-fried shrimp and a baked potato.  He said I could have that if I wanted, but after surgery I would be able to eat everything I wanted - after I healed and definitely in moderation.  He said that many people get the wrong idea - we can eat after surgery whatever we ate before surgery...in moderation.  I found that I don't want the same foods I ate before (with the exception of baked potatoes.  I still love those.)  I've snagged a deep-fried shrimp from my sister's plate once and ate it.  It was okay, but not my favorite anymore.  I find myself really craving veggies and fruits.  Sometimes it's hard to get my protein in because although once I was a real red meat eater, now I can take it or leave it.  I still like beef jerky for protein, but I'm very very picky about the flavor now.  It's gotta be teriyaki and it can't be Jack Link's.  So it's okay if you eat something you're not supposed to, but don't feel bad about it.  You'll have a whole new world of tastes opening to you soon.  The first month is the hardest!

You said just what I was going to.  You will be able to have some of your old favorites but in moderation.....providing you still like them.  I have no desire to ever eat another potato chip and many other old favorites.  

So don't get hung up on this problem after all you are doing this for a better life.  Change is that secret to success.  

I had to start my 2-week pre-op diet a few days after Easter. Well, from the time of my last doctor's appointment on Thursday until I started my diet on Tuesday you can bet I ate everything I could. I knocked off a huge chocolate Easter bunny inbetween going to all my favorite restaurants. I gained about nine pounds in less than a week. Then I did my diet and had surgery and here I am, almost four months later, with half the weight gone. After surgery I just didn't care about the same foods that I did before. I used to knock off an entire bag of mini peanut-butter cups with no problem (several times a week)--I haven't had a piece of candy since my Easter bunny and I seldom even crave it. Don't beat yourself up, and more importantly, don't allow anyone else to. I think lots of people go through the same thing--I need to eat it now because I never will again. What I've learned is that you can eat things again, only in moderation. Also, you may not even want them! Anyway, I was sure that I would be the one person who WLS wouldn't help--didn't this I had the willpower to succeed. Turns out it's not that difficult; the more you lose the less you desire the foods that caused the weight to begin with. Anyway, I'm rambling--just know that you will have control and you will succeed!