In need of a friend....I thought I could handle this on my own

One of the main reasons I got the surgery was to improve some of my lu*****mptoms by getting rid of my high blood pressure and diabetes.  Well I am four months post op and I no longer take medications for either one; But my lupus causes flares which cause body aches and fatigue.  I am so frustrated and down because I have all this energy now and when I put it in to use, it kicks my but so hard that I can't walk or sit without pain.  It is beyond that feeling good exercise pain.  I cried all night long and some more this morning because this sucks.  I woke up so sick today because even the nails on my fingers hurt.  I couldn't go to my barre class yesterday or will not be able to do Zumba today.  I am afraid that if I do not exercise the scale will not go down and I will end up on all of my other medicines again.  I feel like I am eating more than I should and some things that I shouldn't.  It is a bite of something and a taste of something else, but I know it is my nerves and frustrations.   whew...  I got that off my chest.  I know it is all in my hands but I can't share this with anyone else.  My family just assumes that i should loose the weight as easily as everyone else does, I feel embarrassed that I have only lost 40 something in four months.  Sorry for the lengthy venting I just didn't know where else to go. 

I haven't had surgery yet, but just wanted to send a hug your way.

Do they have Lupus support groups?  Or could you attend individual therapy with someone who specializes in pain management and weight loss?

I'll be sending all sorts of good energy your way!!!

Than k you so much  I think I am going to try the individual therapy this afternoon.  The Lupus Support group I attend only gets together quarterly and they are so unorganized so I am trying to get that up and going as well.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending lots of good vibes your way.

Thank you!!!! God knows I need it.

I read your post earlier and I had to gather my thoughts a bit. I don't really know what to say. I feel for you. I am not familiar with lupus and I am sure you know all the things you can and can't do because of it. I will say that you should NOT feel embarrassed about 40lbs in 4 months. That's 10lbs a month and as long as you are sticking to your eating plan you should continue to lose weight. The only way you go back to high blood pressure and diabetes is if you do not stick to the plan. I think you are doing the right thing exercise when you can for however hard/long you can. You just have some consequences for your actions which I can only imagine must be mentally difficult. How do you get motivated to exercise if you know you are going to have such severe pain because of it.

Keith thanks, that is exactly what I go through mentally,  My mind and heart wants to but my body constantly reminds me that I am going to pay for it.  I go through it anyway and then I look like I am 95 years old walking in pain in the hallways at work.  It a non ending circle that I have to deal with and I usually do okay with it,  It was just hard to swallow this pill last night and this morning.

Thank you

Marena,

I'm going to send you a big, electronic cyber hug.  This sounds really yucky!!  I don't know anything about what you're going through, but I do know that what I weigh is determined far, far more by what I eat than what I do.  I do not believe for a minute that you will fail if you exercise less than some other folks.  It is more important that you develop a food plan that you can follow, imperfectly, for the long term.  This will allow you to lose and maintain a lower, healthier weight.

Furthermore, your success is not defined by how much weight you have lost in X months.  You *will* be successful if you continue doing everything you can to follow your food plan.  The world is full of people who have lost X+ pounds in four months that can't keep it up, can't keep putting one foot in front of another.  They peter out, or gain it back.  You will be successful if you make a life you can live with for the long term.

You cannot control having pain after strenuous exercise, but you can work on limiting nerves and frustrations and other feelings that make you want to eat.  Eating more does not help either problem.  I know you know this, I am just trying to reinforce for you.  You can stock optimally nutritious food you like so you have access to good choices.  Focus on the positives in your life, and on all the ways you are doing well!  Your good attitude is a powerful weapon.  Work within your physical limitations, and feel *great* about all you have accomplished in four short months.

Finally, I'm going to make a plug for trying Pilates.  It is not a strenuous exercise regime ala Zumba, but it is a good workout that you can put as much into as you have available. 

Thank you so much for the hug.  I really needed it.  I am taking a pilate barre class.  It does help.  They only offer it once a week.  so I am just waiting for Saturday to stretch some of this pain away.  I am just terrified that these downward dumps I feel drive me to want to eat more.  I am trying so hard, I actually am going back to basics today just liquids to kind of fix my picking in the last couple of weeks.

40 pounds in 4 months is great!!!!!!

pain sucks. Talk to your lupus MDs about the pain.

you can and are doing this!