Be careful when you finally wear clothes that fit!!!!
I can't even believe that this is me posting this thread. I feel like I'm in Bizzaro land...really.
OK...so my 9 month total is 143 lost ( ticker is 5 lbs off...)...and everyone in my life knows that this journey was NOT about looking good, being thin, or showing off. I just wanted to walk, breath and live better. I wanted to enjoy my boys who were getting older before my eyes and I was becoming less able to keep up. I wanted to have a real relationship with my husband again, who I love so much.
With that said, as I've lost weight ...I've been shy about buying clothes that fit my new figure. Even though I'm still in the obese category, my weight loss and excercise regimen has given me this shapely figure that I'm not used to. I cover it with baggy clothes still...smaller, but still on the baggy side.
Well yesterday was dress down, so I thought I'd be brave and put on something that fit me properly. YIKES!!! Not at all prepared for that!! All day there were comments...all good mind you, but I was not ready for it. Besides the good stuff, I had 2 "friends" tell me that they were upset that I was "skinnier" than them and now it's my fault they were going to have to diet. I had one girl tell me that her boyfriend who works there told her I was "Hot"...and the most uncomfortable thing was a male co-worker asked me how it felt to be incredibly sexy??!!!
Really...I guess I should have been flattered, but truly, I just wanted to curl into a ball and run away. Probably be a while before I do that again. I hope that the "skeevey" feeling wears off...not really liking people looking at me. This new world is really strange.
Just needed to share that because I'm going out today...and back in my baggy stuff...and I feel a lot better. Those that have been thru this stage...and advice or "been there done that" stories for me? I could use some of your experience to help me jump this fence. Thanks!
Peace
~Deb
Totally been there! When I first met with the psychologist for the required session before my lap band surgery 7 years ago, he asked how I was going to deal with the extra attention, especially from men. Until then, I could say that I didn't have a partner because I was fat. Once that excuse was gone, then what?
I really had to start going deep to figure out what was going on in my head that made me want to hide. You've been in hiding too, and when you come out, people are going to be attracted to your new energy and spirit. It's a good thing, although it can be overwhelming at times. After awhile, you'll get used to it; until then just say thank you for noticing.
I still don't like the attention after 7 years (got a revision to VSG last month, so I'm losing again), but I don't like the alternative. In order to live, you have to come out of hiding into the sunlight, hard as that hurts your eyes!
Height 5'4" HW:223 Lap band 2006, revised to Sleeve 5/8/2013, SW:196
Totally been there! When I first met with the psychologist for the required session before my lap band surgery 7 years ago, he asked how I was going to deal with the extra attention, especially from men. Until then, I could say that I didn't have a partner because I was fat. Once that excuse was gone, then what?
I really had to start going deep to figure out what was going on in my head that made me want to hide. You've been in hiding too, and when you come out, people are going to be attracted to your new energy and spirit. It's a good thing, although it can be overwhelming at times. After awhile, you'll get used to it; until then just say thank you for noticing.
I still don't like the attention after 7 years (got a revision to VSG last month, so I'm losing again), but I don't like the alternative. In order to live, you have to come out of hiding into the sunlight, hard as that hurts your eyes!
can also totally relate to this from a huge weight loss years ago...counseling helped and continues to help me with the issues
2 really good things came of that, and 1 minor negative. First the good news - minimal uncomfortable attention and a much easier than otherwise adjustment in how I see myself. You'd be shocked at how little people other than close friends and family notice changes if the clothes FIT along the way. (My sis has lost 60# and people mostly ask if she did something different with her hair...)
I'm down a total of 114#, and because I've worn clothes that fit along the way I look in the mirror and see me now, not me at 304#. When I look at old pictures it's like looking at a stranger and I barely recognize her.
Now for the downside. You know the money you're saving on groceries? You'll be spending it on clothes. (Your hubby will be thrilled to see you in pretty clothes - I promise)
PS. The clothes you shrink out of? Get rid of them. I go through my closet about once a month and get rid of anything that no longer fits or doesn't make me smile. I am WORTH pretty clothes, and so are you.
PPS. The guy that asked how you feel about being sexy? Creep. That isn't flattering. It's creepy and unprofessional. YOUR reaction to his comment is normal. Practice your "Did you actually say that in your out loud voice?" look and move on.
Kelly-Anne
Highest 303.4, Surgery 263, Current 217.8, Goal 180
Interesting concept. Less of a shock to myself and others I suppose? I like it!
As far as $...you are so right. I've never spent more money on clothes...or as much time in dressing rooms!!
Thanks for the support about the creep...I hope things aren't weird when I go back to work.
I would try and pick a day, say once a week in the beginning, that you choose to wear clothes that fit. The more you do that, the more YOU will get used to your new body and how to dress it. The more you do that, the more other people will become used to seeing you in that clothing, and the less they will notice and comment on it. There are so many options for clothes that fit, but aren't overtly sexy. I am picturing you in Anne Klein or Chico's clothing!! Once you find your own new style (aka Grace Kelly maybe?) the more comfortable you will be in your own skin and the better able to not take ownership of others' perceptions.
This is such a huge learning experience in so many ways for us all. You are doing such an incredible job!
Jenn Highest weight: 278. Starting weight: 275. Surgery weight: 253. Month 1: 25 lbs. Month 2: 8.8 lbs. Month 3: 12.6 lbs. Month 4: 7 lbs. Onederland 7/29/2013. Month 5: 7 lbs. Month 6: 5 lbs. Months 7-9: self-induced maintenance, then 5 lb gain.
