Clothes, clothes, and more clothes!!

So, I realized over the last several weeks, I've been avoiding the obvious - most of the clothes I've been wearing are getting to be way too big. It's to the point where I keep washing and repeating the same outfits over and over because they're the ones that most closely "fit" me. Since it's been so cold, I've even resorted to layering to keep my pants up. It actually isn't a problem of possessing clothes of a smaller size. The problem is the clothes hoarding behavior I've had for the last 12 years of my life. I have kept clothes from previous "attempts" at weight loss either on the way down or on the way back up - just in case. This time, I plan to get rid of all my fat clothes as I "shrink" out of them. It's a little overwhelming to see all the clothing I've acquired over the years, either due to necessity or because as my physical self-esteem improved, so did my desire to dress more fashionably. But I always kept my safety clothes. 

This time, 2 things are obviously different to me. 

1. I have a plan and will get rid of the clothes this time. No excuses, no backtracking. I will not let the clothes be a safety net, and I will not ease back into larger sizes just because I have them. I will make my clothes hold me accountable. The only time it's ok for my pants to fit a little snug is when I'm "between sizes" and the larger is just way too obviously too big. 

2. I'm pretty dependent on the size changes to believe there actually is a physical difference. I've seen the numbers go down. I've seen my clothes start looking baggy and too big. I've seen the drop in the sizes, but my head is stuck somewhere around 300 lbs. Every time someone asks me how much I've lost, I sincerely have to think about it. Then I ask questions to deflect, because the numbers seem bigger to me than what I see. Logically, I know I've gone from a tight size 28 to a tight size 22. I know I've lost 33 lbs. since surgery plus 41 lbs. before. It's either the breakdown by week, month, pre- and post-op, or the general speed of it that has rendered my head so far behind my progress that I rely on the big obvious changes to remind me of how far I've come.

In a way, I was clinging to the bigger clothes to try to rationalize my head's slowness, or maybe I am afraid of getting rid of my safety net, but it feels pretty good to be going through these clothes and getting rid of all the ones I'll never let myself need again. 

Also, I really love the smell of freshly laundered clothes. Just sayin'.

Good for you, I did the same today I actually tried on clothes and looked in the mirror and could not believe what I was seeing. I gave my clothes to a couple of friends.  I never want to go back to 205 lbs my goal is 135. 18 years ago I weight 130 but looked to thin. But on my way I'm at 155... Blessings

I have loved getting rid of my big clothes although I do catch myself asking 'what if'. Then I remember that I am committed. To this new lifestyle. I do think I will need a professional image consultant bc I am so clueless about shopping now. I still tend to buy clothes too big for me~~I lose another five pounds then my new clothes are way too big.

Enjoy your culling of your closet!

I love my image consultant. She is one of the most important members of my team and has been well worth the investment. I am close enough to goal that I have decided to reinvest in high quality work clothing because any additional losses I have can be covered by alterations. We had our monthly shopping trip and she took me to Banana Republic where I found amazing things and found a new suit. I find that she pushes me by introducing me to new ideas in color, texture, shape, and style as well as new stores I wouldn't consider because they are "skinny person" stores.

If you find someone, look for someone AI****rtified. In my case, I purchased a yearlong contract with her - expensive, but only marginally moreso than my training contract. We began with a style personality assessment (I have a classic style personality), a color analysis, and measurements that provided me with a book of optimal clothing lengths based on my height. Just that stuff allowed me to feel like I had received keys to unlock the universe. Since then, we have monthly conversations and shopping trips - up to me whether I purchase, sometimes they're just trying things on - based on what's going on in my life at the moment. 

If you do engage with someone, I'd recommend that you consider starting at about the point you have culled everything from your wardrobe. A couple of times, I was to the point where my entire wardrobe would fit into a suitcase. THAT was the right time to work with her because 1) we didn't have to sort through what I already had (shopping my closet) and 2) I could make targeted purchases that worked for me moving forward - I wasn't wasting my money. 

My consultant may know someone in the AICI network in your area. She also does some services remotely. I would be happy to introduce you if you like.

Laurie

I had no idea this was actually a thing!  I will add image consultant to my list of post-loss rewards :)

Yep, it is real! My image consultant has been a friend of mine for a number of years. My "Laurie 2.0 project" was what I needed to get serious about hiring her for myself. I think it would be fun to be an image consultant if I didn't enjoy what I did right now.

Here is the "about us" page from the AICI website that gives a bit more context of what image consultants do: http://www.aici.org/?page=AboutImageConsulting

Here is a link to my image consultant's blog page, to give you an idea of the sort of things she advises me on: http://www.styleyouniversity.com/blog/

I started working with her over the summer/early fall, a few months post-op, and she has really helped me to navigate the in-between spaces as I was losing. I would encourage you to start looking around for someone now. Stuff like color analysis info won't change as you lose, and you'll have the added benefit of heading into your loss with some great info!

Laurie

Thanks for the info! Didn't know about the certification. I live in a small rural town with only a walmart for shopping. So I travel to Austin Texas for shopping. My kids live there. I like classic styles also. I'll PM you.

Thanks for posting this thought-provoking post. There is a lot of stuff that you've been able to surface here - good for you for getting it out into the light of day! 

First, are you working with a therapist? I have grappled with some of the same issues e.g. trusting that I can do the right thing by following plan and that my body will respond appropriately, not having a safety net, wrapping my head around my true size, etc. My therapist has been helpful in getting me over this. 

One of the first things she got me to do was focus on loving and respecting my body through the application of lotion, dressing in well-fitting clothes, etc. It got me to "tune in" to what was going on. That was a first step.

One of the other posters mentioned an image consultant and I highly endorse this. My image consultant is able to advise on best bets for ME to make sure I didn't waste money on the wrong things. That helped me to realize when stuff was too big and it was time to let go, but she also helped me to recognize what was right for my body, as well, so it did make it easier to move forward. If you didn't want the formality of an image consultant, a trusted friend who will give it to you straight (the good, the bad, and the ugly) could do this as well.

I did keep my largest pair of pants as a "never again" outfit. One of these days I will put them back on and take a photo. Because I started as a lightweight, it won't be as dramatic as some (I'm thinking Shelly from Eggface), but it'll still be meaningful to me. That is all I allowed myself. One pair. I have culled through and everything else is gone.

Could you get any mental benefit by donating your clothing to other WLSers, or other women who could really use them, like battered women starting over? Would that make it any easier to part with them?

I am sure you will be successful as you work through this. Just stay mindful each step of the way, surround yourself with a support network, and continue to make the right choices.

Laurie

I'm not currently working with a therapist. I have in the past, and I know the root cause of my eating behaviors and my triggers. I also know that I have serious body image issues because at my lightest weight ever, even though I had better self esteem and thought more of myself physically, the ideation was always still "I look pretty good for a fat chick." I start seeing a counselor on Thursday for a number of things. I'm hoping she can help me with those issues, too. In my area there are just a few psychologists/therapists who specialize in bariatric related issues, one of which is involved with the surgical team. It takes forever to get in with him, so I'm hoping this other counselor will be able to help me address sort of all of my issues.

I kept my largest pair of pants, the rest I've shuffled off to a local thrift store.  The reason I kept the one large pair of pants was because sometimes I stall and get frustrated and putting those pants on and having to hold them up with my hands because they are huge is such a great affirmation for me on my weight loss journey. Not gonna lie..I'm totally shooting for one of those pics with half of me in one leg of my fat pants. I also buy an inexpensive pair of jeans (Gloria Vanderbilt jeans from Costco) in a size smaller than I currently wear to use as my inspiration pants. It encourages me to keep on keeping on to fit into those pants.