Pre-op Diet is for the birds!

Nov 06, 2014

OMG! 30 day pre-op diet to shrink my liver. First two weeks have been like letting Queen Bitch out of the closet.

My day consists of two Equate (Slim Fast) pre-made shakes, two Whey protein shakes, and one REAL food dinner of 3 oz meat and 1 cup cooked veggies. And water. And water. And water. Did I forget to mention water?!

I cheated here and there, broke down within first few days and had quesadillas with my damn chicken. Left the onion straws on my steak salad. And the following weekend had beer, chips, Hawaiian Bread, and a bun with my pulled pork....  all in all, it wasn't a lot, but was told STOP IT! It kicks one out of ketosis immediately when the carbs go into the mouth hole. Well, the pounds are coming off anyway BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I AM STILL CHEATING.... ok, maybe a fun size KitKat or two... crap. This is so hard! I am losing a pound or two a day at this point, and need to lose about 14 this month total so my surgery stays on track.

Yes, I am aware that I am cheating myself when I cheat. Yes, I know I need to shrink my liver. I don't need a bunch of extra parents telling me that I need to not cheat; I am just venting. Did I mention that this is HARD?!

My mood has somehow magically improved this week, thank goodness. Most days are just becoming routine, although I still get hungry as heck. But I did learn something this week; cheating and feeling full felt much worse than feeling hungry. I never had really experienced it that way. I felt icky for hours from head to toe with my minor cheat. It was such a strange feeling when comparing it to gnawing hunger, and to actually think being hungry felt better. I have already forgotten the sensation, so I am not sure why being full felt so icky anymore, I just remember that it was.

My parents are on my case about doing the rny; the regret of never eating again...lol... that's what my mom says. For me, this is a tool to get the weight off. A significant amount of weight that is completely overwhelming to manage. And, to have a tool in place to help keep it off. The most important part of the whole gig!! I am at peace with my decision. My semi-ex husband is even really cool with it (he wasn't and won't speak of IT). My friends are supportive. 2 weeks. It's go time!!

Thanks for listening to my stream of consciousness.  

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