mary hepfner
My One Year Surgaversary!!!
Jan 02, 2013
holy crap i seriously cannot believe i actually made it this far :) this morning i woke up feeling fantastic! weighed in at 219.6lbs!!!! (not my goal but considering where i started i am extremely proud of myself)
I started my journey way back on June 20th 2011 at 387lbs. i attended Dr Regan's bariatric seminar at Columbia St Marys hospital with my sister Elly. a week later i sucked it up and called and made an appointment for August 16th 2011 my weight that day was 366lbs. over the next 5 months i worked with the most incredible people at the bariatric center, finagled with insurance and struggled to start eating right and moving my body. then finally i got a call from sue- wonder woman as shes known by many, she had a date for me!!! January 2nd 2012, no better way to start a new year! on the morning of my surgery i weighed in at 344lbs, my life has not been the same since.
167.4lbs lost from my highest weight, 146.4lbs down from my first appointment weight and 124.4lbs down from this day last year! that is HUGE!
i will never let myself go back to that place. i wouldn't trade this new life for anything!
this past year has been rough to say the least,
i'm trying really hard to work through my problems, i started dating in august and lost sight of my goals, i fell into a stall, i started focusing on others more than myself, i stopped working out daily and started eating to much and the wrong things.i started binging again, and it got bad, then it got worse... it was fine for a while i didnt lose and i didnt gain, and 2 weeks ago, poof 7lb gain on my scale. i was devastated to say the least.
i vowed to get myself back together again so i started the 5 days pouch test. day one and 2 were phenomenal!! i felt sooooo good i wanted to stay on the liquid for one more day before i added solids into my diet again. then day 3 i screwed up. i ran to sendik's to get some broth and a few other things i would need for the next few days and i forgot my protein shake at home. i was soo hungry and so i grabbed a jar of skippy reduced fat peanut butter that i kept in the car for emergency protein/pre workout thing. (peanut butter is a trigger food for me, i am addicted to it, and it is no good for me) i had 1 tsp, then a tablespoon then another and pretty soon i had finished off the jar( about 4.5 T) that was all it took, one little lick and i was done for. i went home and tried to fight the cravings but they were so horribly strong i ended up binging that was Christmas eve, in turn i ended up miserable and in pain. i went home and made brownie cake cupcakes. and ate a ton of the batter until i eventually had to purge. then the next day (christmas day) i made frosting for them. and i ate a good cup and then some of the cream cheese frosting alone. then the day after i ended up eating 11 cupcakes. omfg wtf is wrong with me.
i needed to hit the rewind button bad. . again
so on the 27th i decided i was going to give my pouch a *time out* 9 days, only liquids (protein shakes sf Jello , sf pudding and broths)
i made it 6 days then yesterday (day 6) i got sick, too much fiber and too many sf pudding cups i needed something solid so i ate 2 protein bars a bunch of laughing cow light cheese wedges and some beef tenderloin. not my best choice.
so today i start back with liquids, i feel good on protein shakes, its not about starving myself its about retraining my brain that food is not the most important thing. its about pinpointing my cravings and my triggers so i can work through them.
that being said, today was a good day, i got a lot done and i feel really good about myself. im learning to love my body, slowly but surely. i try to take at least one pic a day and im planning on posting them to my board no matter how much i love or hate them. that is a big goal for myself this year, learn to love myself and respect my pouch.
i am making monthly goals for myself, both scale and non scale. this year is going to be a good year
this year will be the first year that i will be happy, like truly happy, in all aspects of my life. i have come a LONG LONG way and i refuse to let myself go backwards.
i got this :)
