2 years, 4 months, 12 days and 49lbs of regain

Apr 14, 2014

Hey all! Im 2 years 4 months and 12 days out from my RNY. my starting weight was 387lbs, surgery date weight was 344lbs on 01/02/2012, my lowest weight was 219lbs on 01/01/2013 and today im all the way back up at 268lbs!! :(  49lbs up and that makes me so sad. I have been eating everything in sight. There are days and even weeks where i have eaten bags and bags of chocolate or have been sneaking food, WAY over eating and too many other things to count! I havent been to the gym since August 3rd 2013. I feel like crap, i feel like im right back to where i have started. i saw a picture and a video of myself today that was horrifying. i need help and i need to stop making so many damn excuses and start putting myself first. i cant believe i let myself get back to this point. i feel like my tool isnt working anymore because i can just eat so much but i think its more of a "i dont even feel the pain anymore" thing more than anything. i also eat through my dumping which is horrific. i have become so incredibly lazy i hate it. i need help, motivation and support to get myself going back in the right direction. i know im still less than i was when i started but i dont feel good about where i am at right now. anyway this is the first step :)

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