10 DAYS until VSG surgery!

Apr 27, 2009

I have 10 days until I am sleeved.  I am excited, nervous, anxious, and worried all at the same time.  I can't think ahead to that, though.  I need to think about each day until that point.

Here I am, my weight above my surgical consult weight.  And I only have a week to lose at least 5-8 pounds before my pre-op appointment.  Dr. Pleatman didn't give me a specific amount to lose.  He just said "lose some weight."  It seemed really non-committal on his part, almost like it isn't required.  But I talked with one of his most recent patients and she said he got upset when she hadn't lost weight at her pre-op appointment.  Apparently, he had been sort of vague about his expectations to her also.

I am upset with myself that I haven't lost weight.  I am eating like a pig.  Today that ends...although what I ate for lunch today was atrocious.  I had TWO double cheeseburgers.  I'm so embarrassed.  But I am committing to eating no more than 1500 calories a day until my pre-op appointment.

I have never had this constant hunger feeling.  It started after having Amelia, my beautiful 6.5 month old baby girl.  In fact, before getting pregnant, I had lost 65 pounds pretty much without dieting (I went to Weight Watchers with my husband for support; I sort of did my own thing).  I merely ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied.  I used to think, "Well, if I can lose weight, why can't other heavy people?"  I so do not think that anymore.  I am hungry constantly...from the time I wake up until I go to bed unless I stuff myself (like I did with TWO double cheeseburgers) today.  Then I'm full for a couple hours and hungry again.

I am probably going to cry this week, but I refuse to let myself give in and eat what I want.  This blog is going to keep me accountable this week.  I'm going to post what I have eaten each day until surgery.  I just have to have some accountability.  I CAN DO THIS.

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