Buyers remorse?

Jan 28, 2011

  I  am hating this. I feel I will never be able to eat a normal healthy meal again. You know, like 3oz of lean meat or fish, couple of salad, fresh fruit, quinoa.

I am CRAVING fresh fruit and veggies. I am soooo stupid. O sure I did my research before hand for almost a year and a half. Thought I would breeze thru the stages; didn't really sink in how I have now been re wired... and more importantly, no matter how much I researched and read, how MY body would react to it. I know I am still healing, but you know? WHO WOULD NOT LOSE SO MUCH WEIGHT IN A 12 WEEK PERIOD OF EATING NOTHING BUT PUREED FOODS?  Seriously?

If only I had had the strength to return to at least a 51% raw diet with meats and fresh fruits ect I could of done this on my own, but nooooo I let myself get so depressed about my life that I just ate junk and gained 75 lbs in 7 months. I am just so disappointed and angry at myself for letting my emotional eating get so out of control, more than I had ever been. I victimized my own self to the point of looking to this as a lifesaver thrown out to rescue me from the hole I had been digging. When I had the power all along. I still do, but I have a long road and allot of changes and thinking to do.

Now I am depressed about this.... like Jack Nicholson said  in a movie " What if this is as good as it gets?". O yea... well  the weight loss has been just peachy, but I could have survived a concentration camp to lose weight this way.  This can't be healthy.

How will I even be able to return to swimming laps and stuff on less then 600 calories a day????


I am not hungry. Not getting in  all my protein. Only shakes and stupid stuff like  greek yogurt and pudding and Popsicles agree with me. Am not getting all my water either. I just want to stay in bed all day. I didn't get on this fucking RNY bandwagon to have to eat 'The Atkins diet" the rest of my life. Healthy fats are good. At least one day , yea right, I will be able to include raw coconut oil, olive oil , avocado, and omegas, chia, flax and more in my diet in small amounts. And healthy complex carbs.

I walk 2 or 3 times a weeks for about 20 minutes each time.

My main inscion is healing "slow" but is supposedly "not infected" I change it every day, so sick of it. Well it should be done by this week.


On the other hand, I am in the beginning stages of this, and from what I have been told , it's hardest part. There are lot's more positive outcomes I have read about then negative. The reality was I let myself gain a ton of weight was was unmotivated to do anything about it by myself, and the way I was going I imagine that I would only get fatter. This has lit a fire under my butt.

 I am just being honest here, so months from now I can see where my head was at and appreciate the changes; which allot will be positive. I am working on my protein intake today.  Still any one who tries to say this is the easy way out is clueless.





I want my RNY  reversed! ha ha ha....... o well, be careful what you wish for......

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