IrishRN

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Well we are into the new year and I am feeling a little more in control. I have lost 9 lbs by going back on product to gain control of my eating.

I have evaluated myself and I am a grazer. It doesn't matter if I am hungry or not I just keep eating. My bf said he will do whatever it takes to support

me. That gives me comfort. I have also come to realize the focus is not to get the weight off but rather how I look at food. I am trying to teach myself

it is not a comforting tool nor one that keeps me busy. I think about it before I eat. 9 times out of 10 it is out of boredom and that can occur during any part

of my day. Each day the struggle gets a little easier. If the day is too hard I back it down to the hour or the minute.

Today I go to tour a gym. I am doing it to make myself feel better.

 

Erin 

I am actually feeling good. I know over that past few days I had taken in some high sodium foods so yesterday felt like a cleansing. I am also down 5lbs. It feels great. 

Today I am back to work and this is where I tend to eat all day so it will be interesting on how I do. I have my shakes with me and I am listening to my tummy and not my head. 

I will get through today!

OMG!!  tummy is rumbling, gurgling and screaming at me. Weighed in at 209 this morning. Liquids today only so far 56 grams of protein. Spoke t my bf hew is supportive and said he would do anything to help me. 

I am being crabby. Not sure why I did it to myself. I let myself go. I can't even go into the forums or encourage anyone right now as I fell like I have failed. Coming back here was the best decision and a start. Tomorrow I have an appointment to tour a gym. I also have asked for a mechanical desk to be put in my office so I stand more. My work has mapped out a walking path through the building so I thought I may eventually check it out. 

You know I have read articles last night that WLS is not a cure to the disease. They are so right. As much as I am grateful for my surgery I wish my surgeon had not taken away the psychiatric component of the program. They do not prepare you for the life long battle that you continue. 

So stick with me. I will get my disease under control. 

 

Erin

Well the load is long and I took a detour falling miserably off the wagon and gaining 20lbs. My first mistake is stop weighing myself. BIG mistake  I found the man of my dreams and lost my way on my weight loss journey. . I have decided to face the music and jump back on the road. I am going to start by doing the 5 day pouch test to get back to feeling my stomach and knowing when to stop. 

I will weigh myself weekly. I have an appointment on Monday to view a gym and will make the time for myself as I am worth it!

So..... I AM BACK

 

Erin

 

This morning around 2am we lost power. My son Josh and I decided to go get a bite to eat
then head out to do a little window shopping. He said you know this will be the first summer
you WILL wear shorts? I had never thought about it. For years I wore jeans all summer long
and was always miserable. So we went and looked at the shorts. I said they are way too short.

I know my 16's are getting a little loose so I took in a 14 and my son said here try these on they are
12's. I asked him if he was crazy. He said"Mimi" trust me remember I have been working out with you
I know.
Guess what?? OMG they fit. How can a 188lbs fit into a pair of size 12 shorts? Well the other things
I tried on all fit.
Bless his heart. He has always been my cheerleader. Sometimes he is too tough on me in the gym
sometimes he has brought me to tears but I have loved every minute with him.

I feel awesome. I love my sleeve

Erin

Ok, so I went back to basics. Besides just tracking my protein and fluids I took the advise of
my exercise physiologist and tracked my calories and carbs. Sure enough I am not getting enough
calories and my carbs are way too high. My son told me my body is revolting because what it has been through
and  I need to eat more. Easier said and done right??

Making changes is what I had to do. I decided to go back to my low carb ways. I have lower my carbs. I have continued
to work out with my son and in the past 4 days I have dropped 2 pounds.
I need to maintain my focus looking at the prize ahead of me. I am hoping I have it figured out or at least till the next
time my body revolts on me.

The other thing that has helped is I went through my food journal and I was taking in way too many carbs. I love working
out. The changes I have seen in my body is amazing.

So here's looking forward.

Erin

Thank you to all of you that commented on my blog. It truly does help to hear from those who
understand and are going through it.
A couple of things are changing. One I will be back here like I used to be and two I am decreasing my carbs.
My protein has always been good and I will set a goal of 100oz of fluids a day.

i have found that since my surgery I do feel better I just want to get 45 pounds off. I certainly can't blame it on my lack
of exercise. MY younges son is my trainer. He looked at me last night and said I haven't had the time lately to go with
you regularly to the gym but I will get back in the swing of things and we are going to get you back on track of losing.
He said "duh" your body is in shock. I had to laugh how he supports me.

I am grateful for this journey and the people on this site. All of you are so helpful to me.

Thank you
Erin

I have stayed away from the forum because I lost my positive outlook and didn't want to put
that on those i have considered my friends.
I have battled the loss of food. It has gotten though I don't like to go out to eat because I am done before everyone
else. That is getting better.
The worst is the plateau. I have been on for 7 weeks. Up two pounds down two pounds. I work out 5-6 times a week
each time with cardio then followed by weight training. It has gotten so depressing. My doctor says it is expected. I have looked at my calorie in take and it is on the low side but I think my carbs are too high. I am still maintaining 80+ oz per day and 70-90 grams of protein.

I am not sorry I had the surgery but this has been the hardest thing I have been through. The positives definately out weigh the negatives.

Feeling alone out here

Erin

Getting the sleeve has taken me to realize that there are no more tomorrows and only todays. Remember
after eating all week we would all say I will go on a diet tomorrow. Or, tomorrow I will be better or better yet
MondayI will start my diet.
What I have come to realize is with getting my sleeve it has placed me in today. How can I make today the best day ever?
What is my sleeve going to teach me today? How am I going to continue my healthy journey today?

Now that I am almost 4 months out I no longer focus on getting on the scale but rather have a routine of weighing myself
once a week same day same time. My focus is now on exercise. I have never felt better now than ever in my whole adult life. My son is my trainer who challenges me more and more each day we go to the gym. If it weren't for him I think I would only be on the treadmill. I am lift weights. Last night I benched 125lbs. WOW I could not believe it. I also power walk and run for 30-45 minutes. 

I have also realized what foods make me feel better and it is more of a choice of what I want to eat than rather what I can. 
I feel that weight loss surgery is more than giving us the tool to lose weight but rather a new lease on life. Each day is an adventure, a learning experience a new journey. 


I cannot believe I no longer have headaches, joint pain, shortness of breath no more snoring. I now can run up the stairs. Ihaven't had Motrin since before my surgery and have only taken Tylenol a few times. Going to bed at night no longer requires me to take many meds to just get me to sleep. It is truly amazing. The greatest gift is no longer itching after I come in contact with water. Even my surgeon is amazed. 

I am truly the happiest I have ever been in my life. So, remember there is NO tomorrows there is only today. So make it the very best. 

Love to all
Erin                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Everyday I tell myself it is a new life. Learning something new about myself, but old habits
are hard to break. The worrying about what happens when it comes back on, the weight that
is? What am I doing getting rid of my fat clothes? I won't have anything to wear.

This is the second time I have gone through my closet but I still get a feeling of panic that I am
giving away clothes I will need when I put the weight back on.
It is the old way of thinking. All of the diets I have been on and the regains I have endured. There is
no longer "tomorrow" or "Monday" for dieting. I gave up dieting when I had my surgery. Instead it is a
way of life and healthy eating. Incorporating. exercise into my regime has gone well but it is this hurdle that
I can't seem to let go of.
I have 4 large trash bags ready to go to Goodwill and the rest I have on EBay. I guess each day it will get better
I have to give myself time.

It has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. I wish I had done it years ago. After all as I look down I
am reminded of my success as i see myself wearing a pair of Levi's that have had the tags on them for over 8 years
They fit great!!

Erin