Johanna !

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I am 16.8 lbs from my goal... .3 lbs from losing 100 lbs!!  I am feeling great til I get Nekkid... then I have serious self esteem issues!! i have a consult with a PS on May 18th - hopefully I will be able to pay for it!!

Had my 8 month visit today - scale is the same about 148.2 but I have a wonderful wow this morning - I fit into a pair of size 8 dress pants!!  So now I am wearing 8s and 10s!! 

I am going to my hubby's holiday party this saturday and boutght a gorgeous taliored style dress in a size 10!!  It is fitted but it looks really great on me!! i did not think it would but the cut is incredibly flattering.  I tried on other more flowy styles but tthey actually mde me look fatter than what I am.  Amazing - I do not have to buy a giant hunk of fabric to cover my body!!

I REALLY wanted to be under 160 by today - 6 months out and I weighed (sans clothes) at 158.6 and with clothes 159.2!!! WOO HOO!!  I logged my numbers with clothes because I always do so I try to be honst with myself!!

No exactly where I was hoping to be... but I have lost just over 70 lbs and 14.something BMI points!! Not too shabby!

I am in a 10/12 and M or L top depending on style and cut... and brand!


I feel good.  I feel happy with my progress and with myself in general - that is probably the most important.

In the mirror I see the same fat girl - just like so many other who struggle with image.  I am really starting to notice wrinkled droopy skin and that is very depressing - My inner thighs - ugh pretty yucky to me!.  I feel like everytime I look in the mirro I find something wrong with me that needs to be fixed.  My stomach definetly needs to go first - no doubt about that!! 

So I am 5 months out today.  Weight loss is definitely slowing down - I have only lost 2.4 lbs in the past 10 days!!  Better than nothing though!  I am really going to have to start tracking my intake to get an idea of what I am putting in my body - but that means planning and I have no time for that!! I will have to make time!

So as of this morning I weigh 167.4 - I really wanted to be at 165 by now, but I will take it anyway.  I am down 65.1 lbs, and have lost 56% of my excess weight.  I am dissapointed in that I wanted to be at a higher percentage by now!

I am wearing a size 12 bottom and size large tops though!! that makes me feel pretty good!! i cannot wait to get into size 10's because I have a ton of nice things in that size (from my thinner days!)

I am doing well. Slower weight loss than most I do admit but who cares! (OK so I really do care but I have to pretend I don't - it is better for my psyche)

I am at about 168 right now - will do an official "in undies only"  weigh in Wednesday morning!

I am starting to wear... szie 12!!  i am still in the obese category slowly getting down to just "overweight".  I really really want to be just overweight!!

I told my husband that if I stopped losing weight I would be satisfied AFTER I got my stomach lopped off!! He laughed and then told me I would want something else done and then something else done... he is very much correct!  But seriously, my sotmach is so huge, I have stretchmarks up to my ribcage and know I will never be completely happy till it gets lopped off - I will probably lose 2-3 sizes when that happens too!

I know I am thinner tha I think I am... When I look in the mirror I see fat, when I get glimpses of myself in a store window I do not evenregister that person as me.  It will take a while for my head to catch up for sure!

I am so excited.. my little horse ticker is over the halfway point!!  This means I am more than halfway to goal (admittedly just by a couple of pounds but I am so happy!!)

This is so exciting to me - I am so afraid I will be the one who does not get there but I am getting there 4.5 months out and I am over halfway there!!!  I am really starting to feel good about myself. 

I feel pretty again.  That is huge for me.  Ha - I told my husband as I get skinnier I will be looking at myself in the mirror more!

I went to a wedding last weekend and danced my A$$ off all night - in 3 inch heels.  My thighs were paying for it for 3 days, but I had the energy and confidence to go out there and dance!  I used to go out dancing with my BFF (before I got pregnant with my daughter) and I did not think I would ever have the stamina and energy to do that again.  I had gone with her one time after I gained a lot of weight but I felt embarrassed - like eveyone was laughing at me (even though I know that was all in my head) Now I feel like no one is laughing at me because I am cute again!  It is totally superficial and vain but it is what it is I guess.

My husband has started to compliment me more often - not that he didn't before but I think he sees a change in my self esteem and likes it.  I do my hair and makeup again.  I take care in choosing my clothes.

Why is it that when people get fat that let themselves go?  I did.  I had heavy friends who always took utmost care in their appearance but I felt I was not worth it.  To anyone who has not had or cannot have the surgery - you are worth it - fat or thin.

So I am 4 months out and less than two pounds away from the half point!!  I am so psyched!! As slow as I feel it is going someday I think overall I am doing well.  I saw my surgeon friday and all my labs came back good.  4 months for a new set of tests.

I always forget to ask, but I meant to ask my surgeon about a goal weight.  He never gave me one - I gave myself one of about 117 lbs... I want to lose 115 from a starting weight of 232.5.  I am on my way!

Today I hit 50 lbs lost! I am so psyched!!  67 to go!!

In 2 days I will be 3 months out.  I am 1 point away from being down 10 bmi points!!!  I started at 45. something and now I am at 36.3!!