Jenniflower75

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

After two days of slacking on my calories but still not going above my burned calories a day I am back on track and back to being more strict with what I'm doing. Today I reached about 860 calories. I have my meals planned for tomorrow as well and I'm looking at 600 calories if I stick to what I wrote. I have to be extra careful tomorrow to not blow it. I'm really struggling with this and trying to get this back to being habit and not a struggle any longer. I'm weighing in at 195 even. Man does that suck when this time last week I was 192.8! I know I'm retaining water because at these calories I couldn't possibly have gained it but it's frustrating all the same. I want to get my weight under control. I need to start losing again. I'm looking at becoming diabetic soon if things don't change and blood pressure pills have been added to my daily pills. How frustrating is that? I'm slacking on my water intake as well. I need to make myself start drinking it. I've been drinking coffee with sugar free syrup and non dairy creamer. I can't live on coffee any longer. One cup a day is all i should be drinking, Maybe two but this is ridiculous. I ordered a 5 lb bag of chocolate protein powder to do a scoop a day in one cup of coffee. I may split it up into two cups of coffee but I'm not sure yet. Any way, Just wanted to let you all knwo that I'm still struggling but haven't given up yet. I'm still fighting and still struggling. You guys are not alone.

I can't just give up!! I can do this, I have to do this, my LIFE depends on it. I can't look in the mirror because my body disgusts me. I look pregnant and I'm scared to death of someone asking me when I'm due. I don't want ppl to see me. I just want to hide. Tomorrow I'm going to keep going, I have to lse this weight. I can't live like this! I can't wait to move where there are sidewalks and I can get out and walk again.

I know it's water weight but I'm up to 195 again. Two days ago I weighed 192!!! I'm so depressed over this. I have to get over it or I will start eating myself to death again.

As of today it's been one week that I've been back on track!! I'm doing good. I've lost water weight and at best estimate about one pound! I'm so happy with my progress. I'm doing it and doing it well. I'm far from doing perfect but I'm doing so much better than I was before. This is the first time in over a year that my scale was moving down instead of up. It's a good feeling. If I can do this anyone can. I know you hear that a lot but I was doing everything wrong and it took me months of trying to get back on track but here I am doing it. It was hard to get started again but I'm doing excellent.

I did so good today, I'm so proud of myself. I ate 947 calories. I definitely could have cut that by a couple hundred calories but I'm proud of myself. I'm starting slow and working my way up to being back on track. I will get there and will start losing weight again. I can't wait. I feel good about what I'm doing so far and I believe I can really do this. After almost two years since surgery this is the most committed I've been. In the very beginning I was committed but more out of necessity than desire. I just believed the surgery would take care of the weight loss for me. Now I know that I have to work the surgery. I'm doing that now, it's going to take time to get there but it's working.

I keep falling but I keep getting back up. I'm feeling good about this time around. I have more support and a new game plan. I'm working on one bad habit at a time. Or more like not stressing if I have more than one bad habit going on at a time. As long as I stick to at least one bad habit changed a day I feel like a success. Right now I'm working on my water intake and that is dropping water weight quickly thank goodness. I lost 5 lbs in one day. That is with me still being swollen so I'm going to keep working on the water until it's habit again. I'm also forcing myself to walk. They are short walks. about 15 minutes but it's more than I was doing before. I generally sit in front of the computer or sewing machine all day long. I am completely sedentary. So the walks as short as they are make me sore but not bad enough that I can't walk the following day. I'm on a three day stretch so far. I look forward to seeing the water weight continue to drop. I'm guessing I have about 4 more pounds of it to disappear. After that i will start seeing some real weight loss. The walking will help. I'm glad to be doing it. I want to work my way up to two one hour walks a day. one in the morning one in the evening. I'm really trying to be successful and I desperately need to be back on track. I know I can do this, it's just a matter of not being overwhelmed and giving up but instead taking it one baby step at a time. It's not like right after surgery that I have no choice about what I can and can't do, now I have choices and need to make the right ones. I'm doing the best that I can and that's all I can expect of myself. I'm focusing on today and not worrying about what happened yesterday or how I'm going to do tomorrow. Today my focus is getting two more water bottles worth of the water in me and only eating one more meal. I know I can do it if I don't give in. So I'm going to do it.

I weighed in at 190.8 today!!! Yay. So I'm setting my first goal for 177 by May 13, 2015!! That's my 2 yr surgiversary. My ultimate goal is to be between 120-130 by Christmas this year. It seems so far away but I want to see me looking good for Christmas. I'm in sweat pants these days because of my weight. Nothing fits me but at least I don't look so bad in the sweats. It's going to be snowy this weekend so I'm not sure if I'm going to go walking or not but I'm going to try staying active even if I don't go. I have been cleaning, BUT I put a twist on it. I make it exercise while I'm doing it. Kill two birds with one stone. I do squats when I run the sweeper and do stretches when doing the dishes. I tend to wash the walls when I'm trying to exercise while cleaning and I look like good old daniel son from karate kid making huge circles on the walls while washing them. Lol. Anything to burn those calories I guess.

I've been doing pretty good for just starting over. I've stayed under 1200 calories but usually around 900! I have myfitnesspal.com set at 900 and it's depressing seeing the calories go over that but at least I'm staying below 1200. I'm down a little in weight. I'm at 191 as of yesterday but that was with sweats on. Going to weigh myself tomorrow to see how it looks. I started at 194 so down three pounds at least is excellent for me since I haven't seen weight loss in over a year. 

Wow I can't believe my 2 yr surgiversary is coming up. If I could get below 180 by then i would be happy. My surgiversary is May 13 and that seems like such a huge goal to reach. I'm scared to make any goals that I won't meet them. I've cut my coffee almost completely out and I'm doing better with my water intake. I'm drinking tea but only two glasses a day and the rest water. That is a HUGE accomplishment because it's been months and months that I haven't drank ANY water at all. All of my liquid intake came from coffee. The first couple days without coffee I didn't drink anything at all. Now I'm up to about 6-7 cups of liquids a day.

I've been eating salads and they are filling me up so qiuck. I've had a few times in the past two weeks or so that I've eaten a meal that is carbs.. Like waffles or something... and it's not like pre surgery. I am starving even immediately after I eat the carbs, so I've pretty much cut those back out. Occasionally I eat a piece of toast or something but really besides that I don't do carbs. I'm very proud of myself and Hope that the weight keeps coming off. ALso I've been taking small walks. They are far from anything to write home about but it's something right? better than nothing at all.

I posted my story in a few groups and had excellent responses.  A lot of ppl giving suggestions and only one who was rude with me. Considering everything and everyone that has written back I would say that's really good. I found a my fit pal that's in the same boat as me, she's going to start today with me getting back on track. We can do this Iknow we can. In about 45 min I'm going to drink my first protein shake for the day. I'm not counting calories but I still have pretty good restriction So i'm just cutting out all but one snack a day and the one snack will be a protein shake. This should keep my calories low enough. If I could just start loosing again after a year of nothing lost that would be awesome. I'm so anxious even considering making any kinds of goals So right now my first goal is 2 lbs by the end of January. WIsh me luck.

I posted my story in a few groups and had excellent responses.  A lot of ppl giving suggestions and only one who was rude with me. Considering everything and everyone that has written back I would say that's really good. I found a my fit pal that's in the same boat as me, she's going to start today with me getting back on track. We can do this Iknow we can. In about 45 min I'm going to drink my first protein shake for the day. I'm not counting calories but I still have pretty good restriction So i'm just cutting out all but one snack a day and the one snack will be a protein shake. This should keep my calories low enough. If I could just start loosing again after a year of nothing lost that would be awesome. I'm so anxious even considering making any kinds of goals So right now my first goal is 2 lbs by the end of January. WIsh me luck.