Confirmation!!!

Feb 18, 2013

So, on Feb 11, 2012, I got the call saying my insurance claim got approved. Coincidence or not, my birthday, is actually Feb 11th. Is this fate telling me this is the right thing to do? October is when I started this whole journey. On the phone Sasha said the earliest I can get the surgery is March 8th (they prefer surgery's be done on Fridays). That means it'd have been a whole 6 months since I started this adventure of changing my life and quite frankly I am a tad bit scared. There isn't anything like being told your life will change over night. Maybe not my weight or health issues, but definitely my life style and that's a bit scary. I am both impatient and scared all at the same time. I feel like this is just a dream. I haven't told anyone but my 3 immediate family members and 2 best friends. So, since no one is talking about it (even those that know other than me and one of my best friends) I feel like it's just a secret between me and my best friend that makes us giggle and dream of better days. Ya know? Maybe it's because I am pessimistic by nature that everything seems a little more dim to me than it should be but I just seem a little afraid. Maybe it's the thought of being a failure at this considering it's my last chance at a better tomorrow. Ugh, I feel pressured. Between my happiness and my fear I am lost in this abyss. BUT! Regardless of my fear and pessimism I am going through with this & I will try my hardest. If I have to break down and cry once in awhile I will, but I won't give up. Not this time. Ready or not here I come. My pre-opt appointment is Feb 28th so my next update will be around then :].

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