lucylewis847
Hello from the other side :)
Jun 19, 2016
I used to blog every day, sometimes twice a day, after my dad passed away nine years ago. It was my meditation, my ritual of moruning and perhaps one of the only "safe" things I did during that period of time. I've found that I can be more honest when writing than I am when I'm alone in my head. I've found the desire to write more now that this has happened in hopes of continuing to be honest with myself about this entire process and admit anything, even the darkest things, so that I acknowledge them.
So here's a recap of me. I started my pre-op liquid diet on 6/1/16 and had surgery on 6/15/16 in Chicago. To be honest, I hadn't even considered WLS until a physician in my healthcare system came out to the Western Suburbs to drum up some business for his bariatric practice. He was basically brilliant. I'd met with him a couple of times and had all of my pre-op stuff taking care of pretty quickly. Because I apparently have great insurance, I did not need to go through any approval process of any length. I met with psychotherapist, a nutritionist, had an EGD and an appointment with my primary and I was good to go. And here I am. On the other side.
On the other side of surgery! I don't know if the worst is yet to come. This has been pretty easy. I had one really weird anxious day where I thought about my own mortality and thought I'd never lose weight and that I'd be one of "those" that didn't lose weight. Did I prepare enough? Did I miss something by not having to go through all of the hoops most people need to go through? I don't think so. I'm extremely driven and independent and feel that I've taken steps that go beyond what others have done. For example, I started seeing a therapist last week. It was recommended that I see someone who can help me come up with some behavior modifications or cognitive behavioral therapy so that my triggers don't force me to eat. Truthfully- my eating is the only thing that I am in charge of. When I set my mind on something, I rarely give up on it. For me, my weight gain has been based around bad relationships- not stress. So I'm going to empty my bags of all of the baggage a 37 year old could have and focus on my life. I'm so ready for this.
Enough about that... I've progressed to full liquids a day later- only because I forgot that I could start yesterday. Actually, I had part of a shake last night and I could've sworn it was the first meal I've ever tasted ever in my life. It was sent from heaven. Minimal cramping. I'm getting used to the sounds my insides are making. My blood sugars are normal (which is bizaree because I'm eating 300-400 calories a day so far).
My only problem now is obsessing over the scale. How often is normal to weigh? Trust me when I say I'm completely abnromal about this... Ah well, time to walk. And do homeowrk. And watch a movie. And work on me :)
Good luck everyone. I'm so glad to know there are a lot of us out there on this journey together.
