weary

May 16, 2011

Had a  good weekend.  Tested my mortality.  Okay, so it was just yardwork, but it sure felt like I was about to see King Jesus.   My dude and I got the kids outta the house and we pulled up some 60+ year old azaleas that were killed by the bad winter we had here.  It only took about 3 hours for my body to scream out to me in pain.  It felt like someone wrang my ass out like an old washrag.  I hurt from my forearms down to my 2 hips.  I. wanted. ADVIL!  It was at that point that I realized that, while WLS was the right choice for me, I am convinced that my surgeon must be a bit of a sadist.  How could he NOT be?!  He knew how crappy this was gonna make me feel and he allowed it to happen anyway?!  The nerve of him!  The next time I see his skinny, John Cusack-looking, Puma wearing, cute little gel haired self, with the sweetest voice....wait...what was I talking about?  Oh yeah...the fact that the only footwear that will accomodate his cloven hooves are shoes that kids my sons age wear and that God made him so cute so that I would spare his life and not kidnap him, strap him to a chair, and feed him broth that tastes like ball sweat for weeks on end, only to remind him that "these feelings you have that tell you you're hungry are all in your head, sweetie." .  But I digress.  I plan on increasing my fluid and protein intake this week, as well as exercising again, so hopefully that'll boost my whatever and cause the scale to move again.  I guess it's not fair of me to pick on Dr. Cusack.  I know that in a few short months I'll be praising him and cruising his neighborhood to stalk him and not because I want to tie him up in a root cellar like I kinda wanna do now...lol.  Maybe I'll just destroy a pair of Pumas and leave them on his doorstep as a warning.  You know...like a redneck version of "Godfather".....only without all the sex appeal and money.  Honestly, it'll probably have to be a pair of yard shoes, as I am broke as a joke right now.  Oh well!  Guess I'll go squish the snot outta this little toe headed 2 year old instead.  My criminal fantasies will just have to wait for now!  Later, lovelies!

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