mrs_southy
I have dealt with my weight my entire life. My earliest memory of that battle was when I was just a very small child and was at the pediatrician's office with my mom. I remember being weighed but I was too little to really know what I should have weighed. Whatever the target was I surpassed it because I remember feeling like I was in trouble with the doctor for weighing too much. Then my whole world changed. As a child you totally don't understand it when you're hungry and you're not allowed to eat or when other people keep on eating around you but you've hit your limit. Don't get me wrong, my parents didn't starve me by any means. I just had a big appetite and I was hungry all the time.
I continued to be overweight through the seventh grade. Finally when I hit eighth grade my appearance really started bothering me. I decided to lose weight and wasn't really educated on how to do it the right way. I just figured the less food I put in my body the better and somehow I had the willpower to lose about 55 pounds in 2 1/2 months. It definitely wasn't the smartest thing I ever did but it got the weight off and I was able to be mostly successful at keeping it off until I was around 19. I met my husband when I was 17 and we were engaged when i was 18 and married when I was 20. By the time we were married I had ballooned back up to a 22/24. He didn't seem to mind so I didn't make it a high priority for myself either. I have dieted on and off and have been successful at losing down to 235 pounds once in our marriage but it wasn't long and it was all right back on. Talk about disappointment. Then in March last year I got pregnant and it was all over. It was the best thing that ever happened to me but the worst thing that ever happened to my body. I was about 280 when I got pregnant and I was 347 before it was all over with and haven't been able to lose anything since.
I'm not really bad about snacking and I hardly ever eat out because my husband and I are on a very strict budget - trying to get some bills paid off. So my biggest problem is portion control. I love to cook and of course I fix things the way I like them so I cook for us and I eat and eat and eat until I can't eat any more because I am enjoying it so much. This is why I think the sleeve is right for me. The forced portion control is just what I need to help me gain control of my life again. Also, I have this HUGE phobia of throwing up. I absolutely hate hate hate hate to do it so I know that I will not do anything to myself on purpose that will cause me to throw up. I'll be scared to death to eat too much for fear of it coming back up. I'm just really looking forward to finally being on the way to a smaller and healthier me.
Okay enough about the weight stuff - now about the more important stuff. As I said the best thing that ever happened to me was finding out that I was pregnant last year. My little girl is absolutely the light of my life! One of these days when I have the capability I will post some pictures so you guys can see my little angel. The two hardest things I've ever had to do in my life were dealing with losing my mom when I was only 22 and having to go back to work when my daughter was only 8 weeks old. I want to be a stay at home mom so badly I can't stand it. I still cry on some mornings when I have to drop her off at the baby sitter's house. She doesn't handle it terribly well either. She doesn't cry in the mornings when I drop her off which is a blessing but she does have a very hard time in the evening on days when we've been apart. She can't stand for me to be cooking or doing dishes or anything other than sitting on the floor playing with her. She just comes unglued if I don't. I don't want her to be spoiled but I really don't think that paying attention to her when I've had to be gone all day is going to spoil her. Also, sometimes in the mornings she just looks at me with this look on her face like she's thinking, "Mom, why are you leaving me?" I just about can't handle that one! I just keep praying that God will open the doors necessary for me to be a stay at home mom. I don't care at all to work, I just don't want to leave her to do it. Also, when we want to have more children I want to not have to worry about going back to work.
As I mentioned before I got married when I was 20 years old. That is so young to make such a huge commitment but thank God led me to the right man. I have a great husband that loves me just the way I am and would be with me forever even if I never lost a pound. He is very handsome. I never thought I deserved him even the day he asked me to go out on a date with him when we were both working at the Dairy Queen as teenagers. That was on October 31, 1998. I'm getting so old :o) We have loved each other since day one and through God's grace and love we have grown closer and closer and our love has only gotten stronger.
We are Christians. We believe in the one true God of the bible who is our creator and sustainer. We believe He sent His son Jesus who willingly paid the price for all our sins so that we can have the opportunity to spend eternity together in heaven with Him. We believe the scriptures that tell us that there is only One way and that is through Jesus Christ. We believe in the sanctity of human life and the institution of marriage and we believe that those two things should be protected. We feel strongly that this nation was founded on Christian principles and was done so for a reason. We believe that the freedoms we were granted at the birth of our country should be protected no matter what. We strive to treat people the way the Lord would have us treat them no matter what the surrounding circumstances. We love all people because they are God's creation whether we agree with them or not makes no difference. We try each day to share the love of God and the wonderful gift of salvation with those around us. There are days that because we are human we fail miserably but thanks to a unconditionally loving and forgiving Father in Heaven we are still covered by His grace and mercy.
Well if you have read this far then you know a lot more about me than you did when you started reading
. I hope to get to know you all too and have a great experience receiving and giving support here on OH.
