How I define "overwhelmed".

Jan 27, 2012

  I had the gastric bypass @ 10:15am. January 24th, 2012. the surgery, I was told, went well. I was very nervous/excited to get in the OR and get it over. It happened so fast and I woke up on/off with little clarity or care until late afternoon.

I was bloated. My abdomen looked far bigger than usual and I had great discomfort. I say this because I don't know that I felt real physical pain at this point. Nothing to drink yet and was told that it was off limits to me untill I had an upper GI to check for leaks the next day (25th) early in te morning. Mind you early to me is 10 am =) During this test was when I was asked to drink for the first time. I was scard of what it would feel like. Would I get sick or would it hurt my new stomach.

Something was happening to me and I couldn't quite define it. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. I knew only that it was a variety of physical and mental stuff.  I was really afraid to talk to anyone about it. 

After my mandatory and much needed walk, I realized I was terrified. I knew that I had made a decision that I didn't know if I could live with. "What the hell have I done"?! raced through my head. I spoke with my husband and then some of the staff. Everybody said the same thing: " You are going to be alright". I wasn't so sure. 

I was in the very early stage of recovery from surgery. The anesthesia took my strength and I found myself somewhat confused and very afraid. I didn't have the word yet to define what was happening to me. Many ups and downs later and it was time. It was thursday the 26th and time to go home. I was told to get my medications from the pharmacy before I left. 

Several hours later, it was 8pm, the night of the 26th and we were home. I was never so happy or frightened. I was officially alone with my husband and our pets. I was more nervous than ever.

We were both exausted. I sipped on water and just tried to relax. Much more to write about what happened that night and our return to the ER an hour away.

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