How I got here

Mar 28, 2022

Between age 18 and 25 I had gained 200 lbs and my highest adult weight was 336. I had to lose a percentage before surgery and got down to 285 the day of the GBP RNY, at age 46.

In the Before and After photographs in October 2003 and 2004 I was 304 and 190, respectively. My goal was 150. I went on to lose thirty more pounds by the 18th-month post-op, though I never hit my goal. That was the healthiest I had felt in my adult life. I was 47, working full-time, went back to college full-time (maintained a 4.0), and was at the gym 5 mornings a week.

I only stayed at that low weight for a couple of weeks and started the deceptively slow and harmless regain of about ten pounds a year while eating less than 1000 calories a day and struggling with chronic vomiting of any solid foods.  I now believe that all of this was a direct result of the scar tissue growth and permanent nerve damage from the surgical alteration of my gastrointestinal tract.

Over the next seven years, I had regained seventy pounds up to a weight of 230 in 2011 and lost down to 160 in 2013, after a serious illness culminated with a gastric pouch perforation. I had emergency surgery with lots of complications, two hospital stays, six weeks of medical leave, and six months of intense medical follow-up. I lost down to 160 again but regained to 170 as soon as I resumed solid food. I regained back up to 219 by 2018 and lost down to 180 after a second perforation, emergency surgery, and brief hospital stay.

Between 2018 and 2021, I gained and lost, gained and lost, between 170 and 212, back and forth, up and down, continually.    I constantly struggled with the effects of chronic vomiting and dehydration and chronic constipation, belly pain, weight gain, and bloat.

Last year, at this time, I was up to 212. In June I was 205 when I started a food detox and food reintroduction program with a holistic practitioner. Between June and October, I got down to 160. Since then, my average weight is now, 165, and fluctuates from 163 to 168 weekly. I eliminated gluten, sugar, and processed oils. I am dairy-free and eat low-glycemic, low-FODMAP foods. I live on soups, shakes, and soft mashed/purees.  Fifty percent of my caloric intake is healthy fat. I limit grain, omit white potato, and avoid processed foods.

This time I truly believe that I have lost the final weight. I do not think I will ever see 150 again, but I can see my collar bones and hip bones and feel my ribs under the saggy, baggy, excess skin. At 63, I am finally becoming comfortable with my adult body. I still deal with regular vomiting, though less frequent, and chronic constipation, though less severe. My sleep is somewhat better and I feel that I am getting stronger, little by little. 

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