Happy Anniversary To Me!!!!!!! 5 Years-Weight-194

Jul 15, 2009

I am a size happy!

I am not sure what to say.  My journey has been good.  I never reached my goal weight (165 lbs), I still have body issues and weight issues, and I definitely have to work at controlling my weight! Gone is that confidence of I will NEVER be fat again or weigh this particular weight again.  However, I have not given up either, I am simply keenly aware that I can and have gained weight.  I have to really stay on top of my body issues, to ensure that I stay healthy.  However, my issues are no different than the average woman of my age (as you get older your metabolism slows and you have to work at it).

Nonetheless, it is a little more complex then that, because really.....I am not the average woman.  I am the woman that at one time weighted over 300 lbs. Because of my history, my particular circumstances,  I make sure I exercise at least 3 days per week (I try to do more, but sometimes that is all I can do).  I try to vary my routine and make workout dates, which helps me to be more accountable and motivated.  I have to keep a food journal (if not I graze and gain weight).  I usually type the meals and times the night before (just in my blackberry along with appointments, nothing fancy). However, it keeps me honest and aware!  I try to weigh myself each morning, probably not the greatest thing, but for me, it keeps everything in perspective and allows me to be delusional free! I hit 200lbs about 4 weeks ago  and totally freaked out! I had not weighted in about two weeks and had just been grazing on potato chips at night.  I got my butte in gear and cut out the chips!

I must say, even though I will probably always a "fat girl" mentality, my tool continues to help me with portion control. My tool also allowed the time it took to develop good eating and exercise routines. What I mean by that is that eating appropriately and exercising is a lifestyle for me, so if I go too long outside of  my routine...it is just too far from my center, I feel out of control and anxious, with relief only coming when I find my way back to my center, back to my comfort zone, and back to my routine.   Withthatsaid, I encourage any newbie or preopt person to make sure early out that you work your tool.  Try your best to do exactly what you should do, make sure you develop new habits and routines. Make sure you develop a new lifestyle, because there will come a time that your hunger comes back, you can tolerate the bad stuff, and that you can eat more calories, then you will be left with just your lifestyle changes. Make sure you have made such changes, or your transition will be a difficult one.

May your journey be as wonderful as mine!


Tweedy

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