I GUESS SOME VETS are PERFECT?! HELP DON'T HURT!

Don't forget about the magic turkey!

 Oh, how could I have forgotten that?!

I went through thanksgiving with no magic turkey?  damn

You seem to have everything figured out.

Especially kindness and tact.

Oh, Heidi, you are ******g priceless. You forget that some of us have been around in all your previous reincarnations.  

You are probably one of the, if not THE most entertaining poster on here - with your daily lemon diet, followed by 1000 calorie dinners, your drinking while eating, not taking vitamins, multiple complications, followed by the magic turkey that cured your iron deficiencies ...

Where would we be without your endless entertainment    Don't ever leave us!

First of all, I apologize in advance if this seems like apple and oranges. I'm sooo tired and probably shouldn't even be typing this out, but I really wanted to be a part of this conversation, as I have come across similar posts several times over the past several months.  I know what I want to say, but it may not come out right. You've been warned LOL

Because I'm a teacher, I tend to see things from a teacher/student perspective. For example, I am the "nice" teacher, and the teacher I sometimes co-teach with is the "mean" teacher. We both have the same expectations and ultimate goals for the students. However, when mistakes are made, I tend to speak encouragingly to the kids, letting them know that I expect better and know they can do better. I focus on the desired expectations rather than what was done wrong. On the other hand, the other teacher harshly and relentlessly points out what was done wrong and raises her voice. Although we have different views on how we handle such situations, believe it or not, our differing strategies actually work well TOGETHER. The point I'm trying to make is that much like co-teaching or even co-parenting, sometimes we need a bit of both the sweet and the bitter (discipline and nurture) to be successful. Some people may be harsh or tough on us, while others may be very understanding and gentle. As long as everyone shares the same intention, which is to see us healthily reach and maintain our goals, the two forms of feedback combined may be just what some of us need to be successful. However, I don't feel that belittling, name-calling, shaming, bullying or making a person feel inferior is EVER productive. I have been through weightloss surgery. Unfortunately, due to problems with my lap band, I have been unsuccessful at maintaining my loss. I am now looking at surgery for band removal and possibly having a revision to another weightloss surgery. One of my greatest fears is having to go through everything all over again (re-learning to eat tiny portions, sip sip sipping, re-training my brain, etc.), and of course, another failure. Personally, I am not a person who does well with "harsh" criticism because I am so very hard on myself as it is. However, I am aware that there are those who thrive from such feedback. We are all different and respond to different forms of criticism differently. At the end of the day, I figure we are all behind a screen and don't really "know" each other, so if there is something we don't care for, we can simply choose to ignore it and move on to the next, or face it and take the positive from it or even turn it into fuel for positive thinking/action. Thanks for reading 😊

And THIS is why you are a teacher!!!   Don't ever feel that you are a failure because of the lap band - it is a terrible surgery and has the worst possible statistics for success.

If/when you get another surgery (be it RNY or VSG) you will KNOW the difference.   

Thanks for joining in the conversation - it's good to have a well thought out perspective and not a knee jerk reaction, although personally, I love a bit of drama  and so also embrace those who let their fingers (as opposed to their brains) do the talking!

Lol I hear ya! We all need a bit of drama. It makes life more interesting! Thanks so much for your encouraging words regarding the band. I feel cheated out of a proper weight loss surgery and journey, and now I'm too chicken to make things better. It sucks, but seeing all the great experiences on here is SO encouraging!!!