Stepping out in public

Nice wood littlebill ;-}

 Your post is very timely.  Pammieanne posted on the RnY forum : "I really need to get this off my chest".  I wondered how the dudes handle this issue.

Thanks.  ;-)  I went and read her post.  I don't mind people telling me I look good.  But for some reason that whole "don't you feel better" thing just sends me into orbit.  I can identify with her reaction.  

Gorgeous work.  

I find it amusing that the comment which bothers you, about feeling better, is one of the ones that doesn't bother me - because I do feel better!

The thing is, I DO feel better.  I think it is just the tone.  It is one of the things I have to get used to.

I totally get you on the "feel better". It's kind of like when people ask if you are sick. Why, do I look like **** If I don't look like **** then I must feel better. So I feel like they are basically saying I don't look like crap or sick anymore therefore I must feel better. I don't know...I don't really care what people think anymore 

I've never been much for caring what people think about me.  Most people either love or hate me.  There is very little middle of the road.  It is when they decide to inflict their opinions on me that it bugs me.  The flattery and adulation I can endure.  It is the negative stuff that makes my temper get short.  

I agree with you about the tone or the underlying assumption that you or I  was just a miserable fat ass prior to surgery. I have a list of things people say regarding the cancer status that drives me into orbit (i.e. God will not put anything in your path that you cannot handle... ******g really? God told you that and forgot to tell me about it??) So I hear you on that. I think I might have gotten that comment less though than a typical person on the boards because the whole "feeling better" was very loaded in my case. Like Grim mentioned earlier, it really does stem almost all the time from a good place from the person saying it. They just are not sure what else to say to express that they notice and acknowledge the significant loss and that it is not something easy to accomplish. 

I agree with your assessment that they just don't know what to say.  I hadn't thought about this, but at this same meeting, I met up with a friend and student (again, another one of those guys!) who I hadn't seen for quite some time.  I noticed he had lost a bunch of weight too, and so I said, "Roy, I see you've lost some weight too", and left it at that.

We've known each other for many years, and I wasn't going to press the point, but he volunteered.  He told me he had come so close to dying that they had him in hospice.  He went on to say that it was so close they had only given him another day or two to live, and then he started coming back.  He is now back in his shop, although he isn't moving quite as fast as he used to.  Being guys, we sort of made some jokes about it and then moved on.  He was telling me about how shortly after he had left two companies during his career, they both went out of business, so I declared that was why the hospital did not allow him to die on their watch.  But we're men, so what can you expect?  

See, right there. I love how you handled that. There is a big difference between acknowledging weight loss versus pressing for the underlying cause. It would not have bothered me if people simply acknowledged and moved on like what you did. You have very good presence! 

Welcome to life after WLS.  Those pieces are beautiful!  You will get all kinds of "interesting" comments post weight loss, just go with it unless they are being rude or mean.  I have to be honest with you, for a good year and half if I was going somewhere I was not sure about the food I took my own....  It really helped me until I got to the point where I could manage all environments. 

Thanks again for sharing!