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Today, I'm blogging from a hotel patio with an amazing view of the ocean! It's beautiful and sunny here. I just got back from a nearby shop where I found an amazing bright yellow sundress. I left the store thinking how awesome it is to be at a beautiful resort with my husband and to be able to walk in a shop and feel like I belonged and could "pull off" a little yellow sundress. I'm so thankful for my new life. I've had so many vacation where I stressed about what I was going to hide myself under. We love the beach, but being fat and the beach is beyond tough. No more!! I look forward to all the wonderful new memories made at the beach with my loved ones! I love the band!

I had a upper GI test done just to make sure everything was sitting nicely. My surgeon's nurse emailed me as soon as they received the CD and said everything looks PERFECT!!! I see my surgeon soon and he will go over the test with me. Life is beyond awesome!! I thank God everyday! Still holding at 121-122 lbs. and feeling amazing!!! Best wishes to everyone!!!

I'll be so busy tomorrow so I'll do my monthy update today. I'm still managing to stay within my  set weight range (120 lbs-123 lbs). I finally threw out my "fat clothes". My closet is so empty now. I had a hard time making this move to rid my closet and life of the fat clothes. I guess in the back of my mind there still lives the fear that I could return to my former body. One day, I just thought...this is my new life and I must clean out the old. It just has to be that simple. I cannot hang on to fear. I have to live the fullest life in the present. I'm living happy with my band and new life!!! 14 months out!!!  Best wishes to all!

13 Months!

The holidays are over! I had my share of holiday food and sweets! I was a little tighter than normal during the holidays. I think it was a combination of hormones and holiday stress. I had to be careful and I will admit the "junk" was easy to eat. I'm still within my "comfortable range" weight wise. I have a 3 pounds cushion room (120 lbs.- 123 lbs.). My doctor says it is normal to fluctuate 3-5 lbs. Now that all the holiday food and sweets are out of the house...it is time to focus on eating healthy. Don't get me wrong...choosing wisely was still my goal, but I did enjoy the holidays too!
My band and my new habits have helped me avoid the yearly dread and Jan. 1st meltdown. I normally would be so disgusted with myself on Jan. 1st. No more!

One year on Saturday!!!
I'm posting a few days early since my life gets a little crazy on the weekends (busy Mom of 2). Over a year ago, I was very depressed. I had no hope at all that my life would be any different than continuing to struggle with weight. It was all I thought about and it seemed to rule my life. I started off "light" in some people's eyes but I was still dealing with obesity and the struggles that come along with being obese. I come from a family who are all very tiny people...I was the black sheep on the family with the weight problem. I had the same body frame, but carried so much more weight. I was truly miserable. I made a choice to take back control and ask a doctor to help me get there. This wls journey has truly given me my life back. It wasn't my goal to be a size 4 or anything. I just wanted "me" back. My family so desperately needed me back. I was living a unhealthy life both physically and emotionally. I was going through the motions of life and letting things pass me by. After thanksgiving last year my sister took my kids ice skating because I was too nervous to get on ice. I just knew I would fall and hurt myself from carrying so much extra weight. I went with my sister and sat on the bench while my sister filled in for me. I was so crushed and hurt by how I let this happen to me and more important to them. They deserved a healthy Mom. I can honestly say...they truly have their Mom back and I'm enjoying my life again. It doesn't matter if I had 100 lbs. to lose or 50 lbs. to lose...I had a problem that was keeping me from living the life I deserved and my family was suffering too. Thank you to all who have encourage me along the way!!!
The band has been one of the greatest things to happen to me!!! I haven't had a single issue and I never imagined I would be as healthy as I am today!!! Thanks again for all your support!!!

Wow! It's been 11 months since I was banded. What a wonderful 11 months this has been. It's not always easy and it isn't always a "walk in the park". However, it's been an awakening for me. I feel so alive now.
One year ago, I can remember telling my husband I could careless about Christmas and I wished we didn't have to do anything to celebrate it.
I just wanted to hide and not "deal" with all my problems. He looked at me and said...there is something really wrong going on with you because you used to love Christmas. You used to count the days down until you could listen to Christmas music, put up the tree, shop for gifts, decorate the house, help the kids write Santa letters,see the children excited about Christmas, etc. I'm worried! He was so right. I had lost myself and my excitement for life. I can honestly say 11 months later...I'm back in full force!!! I'm so excited for Christmas!! I'm digging out my Christmas music, thinking about new ways to make our home festive, collecting all the Christmas catalogs for the kids, etc. I'm so ready for it and so excited!!! There is hope that you can get your "excitement for life back". I did it and you can too!!!  I hope everyone finds their excitement for the little things in your life that you might have lost along the way. This change in my life has made a world of difference for me. I'm loving it!!!

Here is my progress stats-
I'm 5'6"
120-121 lbs.
4 fills (last one was in the summer)
I have days where I can only eat the 1 to 1 1/2 cups and other days when I feel like I need more, but I'm able to keep my portions in check.
Still no sliming, pb, vomiting, etc. (knocking on wood)
Life is grand!!

Wow! The 6th snuck up on me. I'm doing well. I'm still going up and down the same 2 lbs. ( weigh123-125 lbs.) but I am fine with it. I had an issue with an ovarian cyst and had a lot of pain in my stomach because of it. It caused me to freak out a little thinking it had something to do with my band. I had a sono to confirm my ovary was the issue and I've been on meds to shrink it for over a week. I feel much better. My band didn't react negatively. I could still eat what I needed to eat. I did throw up for the first time in 10 months. I took some pain meds without a lot on my stomach (what a dummy) and it caused me to throw up (duh). It wasn't too bad and it came up without any pain.

I've been finding myself buying tons of fashion magazines. I love fashion and I'm a real girlie girl. It's been over 12 years that I got excited about fashion. I hated buying clothes and trying to find something to hide myself under without looking like a huge fat cow. AGH!! It ws a nightmare!! I'm so thrilled to have the excitement back in my life. I'm really enjoying my magazines. I actually look at them now and think...hey I could pull that off! It's such an awesome feeling!! It is such an awesome feeling to have found that excitement for fashion again. It's sounds so silly, but it's what makes me happy. Best wishes to everyone!

I am doing well. I had my first  non-band related sick experience (allergies, sore throat, etc.) and my band did react. I took things slow and drank lots of fluids. It wasn't too bad, but I did learn that it is better to address the issue early. The next week I loosened up and I took advantage of it. Shamefully admitting! I've got to get myself back on track. I'm finding out that losing the weight seems easier than maintaining the lifestyle permanently. I know that I have to work out so I don't have to count calories and stress about treating myself every once in awhile. It has to be a trade off kind of deal. I think what has made a big difference through this experience is not letting myself stay "down" very long. I've got to stay positive and work at making this new life work for me. Life after all... is what you make of it. I am proud of my decision to put myself first. I feel empowered and I had no idea I would feel so good about doing this. My kids and my family are benefiting from me taking care of myself. It's so easy to put yourself last so you can focus on taking care of them, but the price you and your family pays for that is huge (190 lbs. LOL)!  Best wishes to everyone!

The last fill I had has worked well for me. I can still tolerate all foods. No problems at all. This month has been harder to eat healthy since we've been going on vacations and short little trips. I'm back at work now (was on summer break) and I hope having a more set schedule will help. I last reported that I was nervous about how long my fill will last me, since it was my last one. I'm doing well and maintaining 130 lbs.  My body seems to like 130 lbs. and I'm eating enough to maintain that weight. Life is good!!!

I had my last fill (number 4) recently. I am now at 6 cc in my 10 cc band. 
My aftercare center doesn't want to do anymore unless my doctor says it's okay at my 1st year appt. even then...I don't think I will need it or he will want me to have one unless I'm gaining a large amount.  I feel awesome! No problems at all not even a tiny one. I've been stuck or going back in forth from 130 to 132. I'm not letting it bother me. I know it's normal to go up and down 2 lbs. I'm happy with my size and weight. My husband will be taking on a very challenging job this school year and I'm nervous about how this will effect our stress level. I tend to neglect myself when I'm overally stressed. I'm praying that I will be strong. My outlook on life is so much better now so I'm praying I can use this to our advantage.  It's been a great 7 months. I hope to post great news next month and continue on this successful journey. 60 lbs. lost!!!

Wow! Six months out. It's hard to believe as I see it in writing. I feel awesome!! I'm down 57 lbs!!! My goal was to get to where I was no longer "overweight". I made it!! I keep my ticker on that number so it reads below target. Anything under that is "icing on the cake". I also, think it keeps me looking at the positive. I have always been obessed with the number and clothing sizes (pre-band). I feel like I've been given an amazing gift of change and I will do everything in my power to look at it that way and stay positive. I'm determined to make this work for me. I've been blessed with no complications and I can still tolerate all foods. I eat healthy 98% of the time and I work out on a regular basis. I've had three fills and pushed my fourth one back four different times. I felt I had great restriction and was warned not to get "fill happy"...take it slow. I really took that to heart because this week has been a little rough. All of of a sudden...It's getting harder to stay satified. I picked up two pounds but got serious about taking it back off and it worked. I dropped the two pounds and I'm back down to 133. I look forward to my fill for a little help to stay satified. Life is so great! I feel like I'm truly living and loving my life. No more dark clouds to rob me of enjoying time with my family and my life. I feel I have awaken from a long sleep. It was like I was sleep walking or just going through the motions (pre-band). Thank God for this gift of change!!!
Counting my blessing on this 6 month reflection! Thanks to those who have inspired me and encouraged me along the way! Your help is deeply appreciated!!