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I have been on liquids for a few days now. I feel like Hell. First couple days had headaches...but now i have stomach pain and cramping from the front to the sides. i have diarrea and I am nauseous almost all the time. I am scared that this is something else, like the pancreatitis coming back again. I hope it's just my body adjusting to this lack of food but seriously I just feel SICK. I am posting on a couple message boards to see if this is "normal". I don't remember feeling like this last time though. I remember feeling hungry, and low energy, as I feel now....but these stomach issues are killing me. I hope its nothing. My revision is in just 4 days. I am freaking out emotionally a little. Ups and Downs. Sometimes feeling grateful, excited and that I cant wait. Other times feeling scared, worried, sad...  Maybe my body is just freaking out too? I hope its nothing serious. Feeling this bad is making it really hard for me to get completey prepared for my surgery. cleaning, shopping, planning, tying up lose ends etc...

Finally approved. Got the call on 11/5. Surgery is on 11/20/14.  Coming up at Light Speed!  Having revision surgery from band to bypass with Dr. Pryor. Dr. Telem is going to be on Maternity leave so I ended up switching. I think it is for the best. I hope I am making the right decision to do this. I am still considering backing out!!! I am scared. I am nervous. I am...I dont even know what I am. I am going to tell my son about it this weekend...I hope this goes over well. Last time he was too little and I hid it from him. Now, at 15, I dont think its right to keep it from him. 

There are officially 18 days until my revision surgery. I am totally unprepared. I don't know what to do. and I am worried about what is coming. I don't even have my insurance approval yet!!  They said I should have an answer within the month (of October). It's now November 2nd. I have two pre-op appointments coming up. 11/6 and 11/12. I am extremely busy with school right now so that is keeping my mind occupied. That may be a good thing or a bad thing. I don't have the time that I would want to spend online researching information about my surgery. I feel like I should be preparing more or doing something. It feels odd to be just going about my regular business and then BAM-surgery.   I have to tell my professors and advisors at school that I will have to miss a couple classes and work assignments. I have not told them yet because I am waiting for the insurance approval.  I also have not told my 15 year old son for the same reason. I feel unprepared and disorganized. I hope things get into focus moving forward. 

I am still going about trying to get my revision. Sometimes though, it feels like it might not even be worth all of the trouble and stress that I have been going through. At this point I have jumped through every hoop that they have asked me to jump through. I have all of my tests complete. The final issue that I am having now is with the Sleep Study. It has caused me more stress and anxiety then I would have ever thought it would. After days of crying, I finally realized that I had no choice and that I had to get the sleep study, or walk away from this revision. The doctor told me that If I did it, that if it was needed, that I could just take a machine home with me the next day and that I wouldnt have to come in for the second test. I finally got myself to do it. They said I have mild sleep apnea. and now he is saying that I HAVE to come in for the second sleep study where you wear the mask. I am so upset. I am trying to get around it. But I am starting to feel like if I have no choice but to get this second test...I will just give up on the surgery. I am so sad and upset and stressed over this. They have everything from me. I find it hard to believe that a mild case of sleep apnea will keep me from this revision. I am not going in for that second test. I cant wear something over my face..awake or asleep. They said I could possibly get an oral device that can relieve my issue but of course, that is more weeks of fighting with doctors and insurance. Meanwhile, my surgeon is pREGNANt!!!! and who knows how much longer I have until she goes out on maternity leave! Then I will have to wait for her to come back...and then I will probably have to repeat half of my tests cause the 6 months will have gone by. Even if I can get it...I am not sure how I feel about being operated on someone that just got back to work and most likely has a case of baby brain! (been there).  AGAIN, FEELING LIKE I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP. MAYBE I AM DESTINED TO LIVE MY LIFE THIS WAY...WHAT LIFE I EVEN HAVE LEFT TO LIVE.  :(

Given all the difficulties with my other doctors giving me clearance (cardiologist, endocrinologist, sleep study doc), I am about ready to give up. Maybe this is just not the right time for me to have a revision. I have already done so much for so long to get this revision but as it is getting closer...its getting further away. If the Endo doctor won't give me clearance to get the gastric bypass until i get my numbers better under control...then how can i get the surgery that will actually help me get healthier!? Im so frustrated. and I wonder if maybe i can just do this on my own somehow. and give up on the surgery. I dont know how I am supposed to make this decision. I am so upset and even depressed about all of this. I really dont know what to do. :(

They are giving me a hard time about getting a sleep study. I dont want to do it with every fiber of my being. The thought of being hooked up to a thousand wires and then attempting to sleep in a hospital setting WHILE being watched and listened to all night sounds like a NIGHTMARE!  I dont want to do it at all. I sleep well. I am not tired all day. I snore a little sometimes. I feel like this is unnecessary and I am being forced to do this test so that the sleep disorder clinic can get more $$!!! If someone like me, who does not have a lot of symptoms of sleep apnea, expresses how badly they dont want to have this test...then WHY ARE THEY FORCING ME!!! It feels like a violation in some way. I am so upset and angry and frustrated! I HAD surgery before without doing a sleep study, so then why oh why do I have to do it this time! I feel like they just keep on putting up barriers in front of me to stop me from getting my revision. Maybe I am not supposed to get this surgery. Maybe its not meant to be. or maybe something else might be wrong and I should re-think it. I don't know. I just personally HATE dealing with medical issues. I dont like doctors, insurance companies, pharmacies or anything like that. I typically run in the other direction. This is so hard for me. I dont know if I am making the right decision. 

Here is the update. I have been working so hard to get all of my requirements for surgery. I have been to the Pysch Consult, Sleep Consult, Endocrinologist, Cardiologist, Radiologist, Nutritionist, Blood Tests, Group Meetings, etc etc etc. I feel like there are so many different things that all have to agree that I can get the surgery, that something will go wrong and I will end up getting denied. I am not getting my hopes up until they tell me that I have been approved. I have been talking to my surgeon about the possibility of getting my surgery before I go back to school in September. If not, then I will have to wait until winter break. If everything goes as planned, pretty much as soon as I get the approval, I will be looking at the surgery a couple weeks later. To be honest, I am scared of the entire thing. I do want this revision to happen but, I am worried about everything that goes along with it. I am scared of the actual surgery. I am scared of the recovery. and I am scared of what my new life will be like. I did not really have the full picture of what life would be like with the band, until I had it. I feel that with the gastric bypass, I am stepping into the unknown once again. I think I will try to utilize this site a little more to try to get as much information as I can. 

So, for a long time I have considered having a revision. I have researched a lot. I considered getting the DS surgery but in the end I have decided on the gastric bypass. I have seen three different surgeons. The first one said that I had to wait 6 months between having my band removed and having the bypass. I was pretty unhappy about that. What if I gain a lot of weight in those 6 months? What if there is a problem with my insurance and I can't get the second surgery? What if something happens under anesthesia twice!? I was willing to go through with it but was disappointed. Then I heard about another surgeon that actually does the revision in ONE SURGERY! I went there for a consult. Had everything planned out and was ready to change to this doctor...and then I got the call that they are not taking my insurance! I was pretty upset but REFUSED to give up! So I found out that there are actually only TWO surgeons in my area that take my new insurance. I have now met with one and...here we go again. I am now scheduled for a battery of tests. I should feel hopeful but instead I feel skeptical. I feel like something will happen or something will go wrong and i wont be able to get my revision. I now have full on diabetes, my triglycerides are out of control and I take a TON of medication for these conditions as well as my high blood pressure.  I want this revision. But what if one of my health problems prevents it? What if the insurance company denies it? So many what ifs...Thats why I am not getting my hopes up too high. This surgeon does the revision in one surgery and said I may be able to get it done before I go back to school in September. Fingers Crossed!

Yesterday I went for an upper-endoscopy. For the past few years i have had on and off episodes of extreme stomach pain. I had a hida scan which determined that my gall bladder was functioning a little below normal. So, I had the endoscopy to make sure ther wasnt anything else wrong...they found MAJOR ULCERS all over me! at least 4, one of them bleeding.  It's crazy. I am out of it becase of pain meds and after effect of anisthesia...but now i here searching for answers. I am wondering if the band could have done this to me. so, thats where i am at.   OH and a baariatric surgeon had to come to completely unill my band before the test. I asked him NOT to put all the fluid back in because i have been SOOo tight the past 2 months i can barely eat anything He only was able to take out 1cc! We were both surprised! How could I be Overfilled on only 1cc?  well, now HE wants to see me too sooooooooooooo on to my third bariatric surgeon!  ugh.
 

I completely regret getting this lapband. I sometimes feel that it has given me an eating disorder! Most people don't know about my lapband and so when i am too tight to eat, I have to make up excuses and when I get stuck or have to throw up, i have to go deal with it in secret. I think I weigh like maybe 20lbs less than I did when I got the surgery 4 years ago. All the money, doctor apointments and pain, are NOT WORTH 20 pounds. I am so jealous of anyone who has been successful with their band...happy for them, but jealous. I heard about people that the band doesnt work for and I was sooo hopeful that I thought, "that won't happen to me"...but here i am. I suffer with this stupid band. I wish I could just take it out! I don't know if I am even willing to get another type of surger for fear of failure again. It's depressing...I had a tiny taste of what it would have been like to be thin...but then i started gaining it back. That makes it even worse to know what I am missing.