Wendy S.

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Up until a few days ago my recovery had been exceptional. Thursday night I was on my way home from a support group meeting, I brought a protein bar for the ride home. I managed to get a couple bites down before the pain hit. I actually had to pull over at a gas station to vomit. Since then everything I put in my mouth, vitamins and water included, comes back up. I don't think it's a stricture because of the bubbly feeling I have. I'm worried it's an ulcer or GERD. I take my zantac faithfully, but I just realized yesterday that the crystal light I've been drinking actually has caffeine. I'm going to wait until Monday to call my surgeon's office...

I've been home since Wednesday. I had a few minor issues at the hospital. After surgery they gave me something that I was allergic to so I was covered from head to toe in hives. When the hives didn't go away they thought it was the pain pump so they took that away. I was then given morphine through my IV. Still my hives continued... a very brilliant nurse suggested it might be the potassium IV solution, so they switched it to a saline solution and my skin was no longer on fire. I was in alot of pain most of my hospital stay. Most of the staff was amazing and of course the surgical team was awesom! I didn't get nervous until I was on the operating table and then I started to panic... but it wasn't long before I was under. It has been a crazy experience!

  The psychologist's office called Friday, just as I was leaving for my appt with him. His secretary said  I didn't need to come see him and he was approving the surgey. I guess the letter my therapist wrote was enough! I have to check in with my pcp on Monday... but other than that I'm just wating. I'm not a very patient person.... I know the next week will go very fast 

I've lost the required 30 pounds and a few extra. I'm pyshically ready for this surgery. I know it's normal to be scared and nervous before but I'm terrified. I'm suddenly so scared of dying, or scared that I'm going to have major complications after surgery. I'm afraid I'm not going to do the right things after surgery... I need to get out of my head!

I haven't officialy been cleared by the psychologist yet, although the only appt I have left is pre-admitting stuff at the hospital. I'm nervous as hell that I have done all this shit and I'm going to be denied. He's concerned that with my history of depression ,I will have a bad episode after surgery, I told him it I would have an episode if I didn't get surgery! I understand that I can't possibly know what I'm going to go through after surgey until I'm there. What I need him to understand is that I do know how I'm going to feel if I don't have this surgery. Luckily I have an amazing psychologist I see regularly that is going to talk with him... I pray this works!

4 weeks!  I'm a little nervous... I got a call from the psychiatrist who did my evaluation, he wants to see me again before he gives clearance. I'm a confused because after the first appt he said as long as he received something from my psychologist stating I was in therapy he wouldn't need to see me again... Am I too crazy?

So I'm a believer! I had a weigh in apt. today and I'm down 7 pounds in 4 days. I would almost consider canceling surgery if I thought this could be a lifestyle for me... but I'm definately having a hard time. I'm hungry all the time, so I've decided on days that I weigh in I'm going to have a normal dinner, that gives me something to look forward to.

I met Dr. Clarke yesterday. He is awesome, friendly and very informative. I also started the "lean and green" program, I opted to wait another 3 weeks before starting the medifast program. I'm aware that protein shakes are a must after surgery and I was afraid that if they were my main diet before surgery I would hate them after. So for the next three weeks I get 2 eggs for breakfast, 2 oz lean protein and 1 cup veggies for lunch, 5-7 oz protein and 1-2 cups vegggie for dinner, no snacking, nothing to drink except for 64 oz of water. They said I could have coffee or tea, but the way I like coffee it tastes like a candy bar so that can't happen, I do like iced tea but with sweetner, of course I was told no sweetner.... I really hope I can do this!

Results from sleep study show I have sleep apnea. I didn't realize how common this is. It's a scary thought that I stop breathing as often as I do. Luckily it will be resolved with surgery! Thankfully the next several weeks are filled with pre-op appts. time really has gone by fairly quickly. I started this process in June so I'm just over half way to surgery. I was worried that with all this anxiety I would have a hard time quitting smoking... but it's been 2 1/2 months without a cigarrette! I started attending a support group, definately a good thing! I'm inspired by everyone's success and not scared of possible complications I've heard about! I have spent alot of time reading about other peoples experience, I think it's extremely helpful, I am grateful to all of you who take the time to share your joys and struggles! I don't feel so alone in this process and I also feel like no matter the outcome, I have a place to turn!

Last night I went for my sleep study. I know I have a billion  appts before surgery, but I'm thrilled to have gotten one out of the way! I normally would be sad to see the summer come to an end... but right now November can't come soon enough!