Proudtobaloser
Where to start? HMMM Ok I know. I will start by saying that every diet I have tried has failed. Every so called successful program has failed. Why? Did I have my mind set that they would fail? Did I set myself up for failure? I do not know why they failed. No, my mind was set for success. No, I did not set myself up for failure because I firmly believed that what I was doing was going to work. After years of slowly loosing the weight then gaining it back then some, I finally looked into weight loss surgery. I had heard the horror stories of so and so dying and this person who lost alot only to gain it back. I did not let that deter me, as a matter of fact it actually intrigued me as to why those things happened. I really started looking into the weight loss surgery types when I looked at myself in the mirror one day and asked myself "Are you going to keep letting things go or are you going to do something about it?" Talk about a wake-up call. I was ready to move forward. In February of this year I talked to my PCM and asked her if she thought I would be a good candidate for WLS. She was happy I had bought the subject up and she set me up for a referral to Womack AMC and I was on the road to seeing the surgeon and her team. Well everything was moving right along then....... ROADBLOCK. The surgeon that was to do my surgery decided she was leaving to go to another job in the civilian sector. I was disheartened. It was like the same old things were surfacing again. But I was not about to let myself get down on it because I had already quit smoking, drinking alcohol, cut out the caffiene and sugar, and I was exercising more. I was not about to let this hiccup bust me in the butt. The nurse coordinator at WAMC got me in touch with the surgeon I am currently seeing. So far that has been a bit of a bumpy road. Tricare asks for so much but I am glad they do. I have had to get records upon records of doctors' visits, x-rays, and several other things. Have been poked and prodded. I am awaiting my stress test and ECG along with the chest x-ray results (all of which will be done THIS week- july 07,2011.)
Am I scared? Sure I am. If I wasn't I would have to question my own sanity.
Why do I want this surgery? Ok not going to lie there. I DO want to be healthy but I am sick of being the fat friend, the fat family member, the butt of jokes, and overall just sick of looking like Jabba the Hut. I have changed my diet, relearning how to eat properly-which includes chewing food until it is mush, not drinking with each meal-does fill you up quicker if you drink with a meal but you get hungry quicker, and learning the limits of how much I can do when it comes to exercising. Let me tell you, the exercising portion kicks me in the butt, but I enjoy it. I enjoy exercise, WOW if someone had told me that I would ever say that I think I would have passed out laughing at them.
What has been the hardest thing so far? Oh the quitting smoking by far. Giving up the caffiene was easy for me, but the smoking OMG. It was like someone had told me that I would never see my husband again, it was that bad. I do have a bad reliance on food but I am working on that day by day. It is not an overnight process nor will it ever be. As with smoking the food issues will always be there, as will the temptations. Will I fall off the wagon? I have no idea but I will do everything to avoid falling off. As my user name says- I am proud to be a loser, also proud to be a quitter. Not in the sense that is negative but in the sense that those two things will help me achieve what I want to do.
