Proudtobaloser
WOW has it really been that long.....
May 17, 2014
Ok update time....
I am down to 155.7 pounds. I went to 135 when I got real sick for a few months (non wls related). I am in healthy range and though its not the 145 I wanted to be I am fine with it. My hubby and I split and our divorce was final this past October. Broke my heart and I became one of those WLS related "statistics". Yea the divorce one. Its ok though. He and I are still friends. I got involved with someone that I loved to my core and he really broke my heart, chewed me up and spit me out. I am coming to terms that even though you love someone with every fiber of your being, that sometimes it just isn't enough.
Most of my family no longer speaks to me due to me having got the surgery and that is their choice not mine. I did this for me and their acceptance is something I really do not need.
I am in a size 6 to 8 now and I still look at my clothes like I can not believe it. I still do that when I look in the mirror too.
I am going to be honest though.... I did have several months where I did a switch addiction and started drinking again. It went from bad to worse and I ended up putting myself into rehab because it got so bad. I was abandoning myself and not caring who or what I hurt just for that next drink. THAT was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Admit I had that issue then go ask for help. I am a person with a buttload of pride and well needless to say I knocked myself off that pedestal I put myself up on. I am still fighting that nasty little monster everyday and probably will be for the rest of my life. But I am taking it one MINUTE at a time.
I'm basically alone now except for my lil pup Bear. I am fine though. I may not be as silly and as outgoing as I used to be but I will get there again. Time and effort are on my side I hope. It's been a good day so far and I am going to make the best of it. Hopefully meeting up with an old friend I haven't seen in years and just going somewhere and chillin out. I need a break from my own thoughts for a bit because I dwell too much these days.
I hope everyone is doing well and for those that are looking into any type of WLS surgery.... do NOT assume that what I have been through will happen to you. Its just how things rolled with me. I wish you all the luck and am sending warm thoughts your way.
