sunny_disposition
Every Blog's Got a Backstory
Jan 02, 2013
2013 is going to be a good year, I can just feel it. By the end of 2012, I hit my highest weight, at 316 pounds. At 5'10, this puts my BMI at 45.3. Having gained about 150-160 pounds in the past 6 years, these numbers are terrifying.
Everybody has their reasons for gaining weight. What starts off as one bad reason, easily dominoes into many. As I grew up, youth sports ended (and by sports I mean one season of softball and a couple of cheerleading), I got a car and a drivers license , and I got a boyfriend. Not any of these are to blame, but each one further reduced my activity level. I no longer cheered, I no longer walked around the neighborhood with my friends, I was over the moon to be snuggled up on the couch with my fabulous boyfriend, getting takeout and watching TV every night. After 3 years, about 70 pounds, and a horrific breakup, my weight continued to spiral out of control. It's been a vicious cycle of low self-esteem and comfort eating.
Now, at 22, I refuse to move any further into this whole I've dug for myself. I am physically uncomfortable in my body. I do not like pictures with my body in them, I don't like shopping for clothes, I don't like going to crowded places, or the beach, I get out of breath easily, my knees hurt when I climb stairs, I get hot easily, I am painfully aware of how much space I take up, and avoid looking in the mirror. In my head I see myself as I was 6 years ago, so being reminded of how big I am is both daunting and distressing. This is not what I wanted 22 to be. This is not what 22 should feel like! I will be 23 at the end of February. So for the new year, I am giving myself my old body back. The one I was not ashamed of, the one that's in here somewhere.
This year, I am moving forward with weight loss surgery, and with my life.
Weight loss surgery is a tricky thing. For every supporter, it feels as if there are three naysayers. Many people struggle to decide if it is the right choice for them. It has taken me almost a year of indecisiveness before I truly felt that it was the right option for me.
Now that I've decided Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) is my next move, and I've decided on a procedure that is best for me (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy), I'm 10 different shades of excited!
My insurance didn't cover any WLS. I am lucky enough that my parents can afford to pay for it, and am SO grateful they offered! (Thanks M & D!). Since I am a self-paying patient, I do not have to do the 3-6 months of medically supervised diets. At my initial appointment with the doctor I've decided to go with, I was told if I did everything I needed to, I could be sleeved in a month!
Before I can have the surgery, I need to have blood work done (check!), get a psychiatric evaluation (appointment in two days), consult with a nutritionist to get the skinny on what post-op life will be like (also in two days), and have an Upper GI (I can't keep forgetting to make this appointment!). I will also be on an Opti-fast Shake diet for two weeks prior to surgery, to help reduce the size of my liver, making for an easier surgery.
I've spent hours upon hours reading everything I can find, trying to figure out what to expect. All I know for sure is that everybody's experience is different, and that doesn't give me a whole lot to go on. So for now, I'm going to go with my gut (lord knows there's plenty of it!), and jump in. Sometimes, you just have to go for it.
